Why I Don't Worry About My Eternal Salvation

      It may surprise some folks, but I haven't worried about entering God's presence when I die, or my "salvation" as many understand it, for a long time now. It hasn't actually been a pressing concern on my mind for years, if not decades. I don't worry about or even think that doing or saying the wrong thing could jeopardize going home and remaining in His infinite and eternal embrace and love. I worry that doing or saying the wrong thing could hurt someone and cause harm to others, but I don't worry about eternity. Fact of the matter is, I'm looking forward to going home and being enveloped into Him once my reasons for being here have been accomplished.
     Thing is, this isn't because I myself am so saintly, holy, or "righteous." Anyone who knows me knows that I am far from these things. It's because I know who He is. I know Him and He knows me. I know that He loves and accepts me, disordered and malfunctioning as I am, and we've been working together on me getting through that. It's been a cooperation, a partnership of mutual love, care, and affection between He and I. I know He will forgive when I make a mistake, no matter how serious, as long as I turn around from that mistake and agree with Him about it, and not because I am special, but because He is love personified. That doesn't mean I abuse this love and favor from Him, because He's not that stupid, nor would I willingly want to hurt Him by treating Him so. Choosing to shut my eyes to who He is, and to abuse His kindness has consequences that I don't want.
      I choose to take Him at His word that He will forgive if I confess my mistakes to Him and turn around. I choose to take Him at His word that He loves me and wants the best for me. I choose to be one with Him in His death so that I would be one with Him in His resurrection. I choose to submit to the Spirit of Christ with whom I have been made one, and to turn away from the responses of my malfunctioning neurology. I choose every morning to ask Him to act, speak, and even "think" through me as the hand is to the glove, and He in return hands it back to me saying, "We do this together."
     The only thing which could put me into the outer darkness is if I choose to shut my eyes to Him and go my own deranged way, disrespecting Him and the beyond magnanimous gift He has given. And this I choose not to do, yet I am consciously aware that it is fully within me to do so. Thus I keep a vigilant eye on myself and my fear, aggression, and other responses, so that I don't return down that path I came from. But if I make a mistake, and those things come out, I know He will be there waiting for me once I come to my senses, and walk me through the aftermath to do something good with it.
     So I don't worry about eternity. I know He's got me, and I have him. By choice.