Letting go of your "I am..."

     One of the hardest things about letting go of something is that, frequently, we identify with that thing of which we must let go. That is, it becomes a part of how we see ourselves, our identity, and so letting go of it also means having to shift and even deconstruct our self-identity. For example, I see myself as a writer. I write and have written quite a great many pages on many different subjects as well as fictional stories. If I were to let go of this, it would directly impact my “ego” or my self-identity. The same is true of someone for whom a certain possession or many possessions are taken as a part of their identity or who they are. The same is true of someone who finds their identity in their friends, their family, their national or ethnic identity, or their religion, and so on. One may also see their disability as a part of their identity, or the way they think which might be unique among other people.
     I was reflecting on this in my own life this morning. A large part of following Jesus Christ is learning to let go of those things which present themselves as obstacles to the control of the Spirit of Christ. Most, if not all of the time, these are the things with which we self-identify. Just as I might say, “I am a writer,” another person might say, “I am a businessman,” or “I am an American,” or “I am wealthy,” and so on. The “I am…” signifies that this thing is integral to our identity.
     As I was thinking this morning, the question was asked within me, “Do I really need to be this thing?” There are so many things which “I am…” that consciously or unconsciously have become a part of my identity, and the truth is that they will all eventually cease to be or change in some way, one way or the other, just as they have throughout my life. The older I get, the more I see how unimportant these “integral” aspects to my “I” really are.
     In order to truly pursue Jesus Christ, as Paul wrote about in Philippians 3, we need to take a good long look at all of those things by which we self-identify. Paul did. He even lists several of the things that he was, but that he also effectively trashed or threw away in order to pursue Jesus Christ. These were not necessarily “bad” things either. But because they became obstacles, they had to go and he had to go through a process of deconstructing his ego in order to reconstruct it in Christ’s image.
     So then what can replace these things which must be ripped out of our self-identity in order to pursue Jesus Christ? With what can we end the sentence “I am…” The first things which came to my mind are “love,” “compassion,” “mercy,” “forgiveness,” and of course, “Jesus Christ” Himself. Not that I have lost all perception of reality, but that I identify myself with Jesus Christ so that I become Him for others. I identify myself with the God who is Love so that I become that love for others. I remove all those things which are obstructions, or those things which I have clung to more than Him, and instead cling to these things which He is so that I become these things instead for myself and for everyone else around me.
     Following the Way of Jesus Christ begins with a radical shift in thinking as we take an inventory of all those things with which we identify ourselves, realize that they are all transient and temporary, and then begin to purge them for those things which are eternal.