Chickens in the Bathroom, Goats in the Kitchen

     Why do we have goats in the kitchen? This is a perfectly reasonable question. Just like the question, "why did we have chickens in the bathroom?" Looking at this from the outside in, we probably seem to have gone a little insane since moving to Kentucky. But, believe it or not, there is a logic and a method to the madness, even if it really wasn't our logic or method. And the more I observe it, the more I think I'm getting it.

     First, this isn't "our" farm. Not mine, not Heidi's, not Cindy's. This is God's farm first and foremost. This is something that we all agreed on when we started. The land is His, the house is His, the barn, the animals, and everything which is on this property belongs to Him, including us. And in a very real way, He's the one calling the shots on this as far as what animals we get and when, and what our actual timetable and layout plan is going to look like. Really, all we've been doing is asking Him to show us when, where, and what.

     We could have bought some cheaper adult animals early on, but the Lord led us to not do that. They simply weren't the right breeds of animals, and they weren't really in the best of shape. As particular as this sounds, this is important. We're not trying to set up a meat farm. As an organic permaculture farm, our animals are meant to be for fiber, milk, eggs, and fertilizer. Occasionally, one might have to go into the freezer eventually, but especially not with our starter animals.

     For our starter animals, we've purchased all babies essentially. From the tiny chicks of specific breeds we had in the bathroom, to the giant angora rabbit kits we bought, to the Nigerian dwarf and Nigora goats. Yes, the dogs were also acquired as very young puppies, as were our cats acquired as young kittens. Purchasing them as infants meant that we could hand tame them and socialize them early to make them unafraid of us or people in general, get them used to each other (important especially for the dogs), and oversee their development from start to finish. Truth be told, the time table on purchasing them wasn't ours, but we moved as the Lord led us to move to obtain the right starters for this farm.

     But, baby animals are just as much work and responsibility as human babies. You have to feed them, clean up their messes, love on them, and make sure they're in a stimulating environment. They also need to be kept warm and safe. As these are the starter animals for our herd and flock, they are also the most important, because they will be the backbone of our farming business, literally our bread and butter, along with the gardens and orchards. The female goats will be the mothers of our breeding program, the same with the hens. We have over forty animals right now I think, but this will expand over the next couple of years, and it has to be good, healthy stock bred for the purposes we want. There is also the matter of the investment of money as well as time which these animals represent. None of them were inexpensive because of their breeds, except perhaps Anna and Olaf, our two shorthair rabbits which are now our main fertilizer producers for the raised beds.

     Kentucky's weather is not like California's. It actually has four seasons, and this winter it's gotten down to about 7-9 degrees, well below freezing outside. It's also been raining at least one day a week on average since we arrived, and if not raining, then snowing. Most of you know about the Tornado which hit us, as well as the ice storm, and the power outages. Infant animals can't just be thrust out into this kind of weather and be expected to survive on their own. Many didn't have their coats or feathers yet which would protect them from the elements. It would have been just like tossing a one or two year old human baby outside in the freezing cold and expecting them to survive on their own. Of course they would freeze to death, or, with the storms, at least be terrified and alone. Just being responsible animal owners we couldn't do that, much less being parents. So we have to take these factors into consideration where the care of our animals is concerned.

     Yes, we have a barn, but it's not ready yet to receive any of the kinds of animals we need to put into it. Part of this has been because of the weather, part of this has been because of other mitigating circumstances. Will it get there? Yes. It's just not there yet. We intended to have the basement room which opens out to the backyard as our "nursery." But our basement has been torn out and has been under renovations since about May-June because of mold which was found in the walls. It's taken this long, and is still under construction, because of the severe shortage of contractors and electricians in this area due to COVID. All those willing and able to work are overbooked and overworked at this point. Our contractor, Nick, and our electrician, Corey, are wonderful and good at what they do. Nick's wife is pregnant, and has been having some complications with her pregnancy. Of course she has to be his priority over our basement. But this too has factored into the slowdown on the work.

     So, in order to care for the baby animals which are the foundation of our herd and flock, we had to bring them into the house and turn a bathroom into a temporary chicken coop, and the middle of the kitchen into a temporary barn nursery. Our garage is currently a makeshift barn as well to keep the bulk of our livestock warm through the winter until they're old enough to survive on their own in the cold and elements.

     We're hoping to get most of the animals into the shed and chicken run in the backyard within the next two to three weeks as the weather begins warming up, and they're reaching the age where they can handle it. The four new bottle fed goats will be fully weaned at twelve weeks, which gives us another two months, but they will probably be going into the garage before then once we get everyone rotated. Eventually, they'll be in their proper places in the barn and pasture, hopefully come this summer.

     As Cindy has said, we can either do the easy thing now, and the hard thing later, or we can do the hard thing now, and the easy thing later. Yes, it's been nuts. Yes, it's been hard, expensive, and demanding right now. But as they get older, and are put out where they belong, all of this should taper off a bit once we're out of the starter phase of the farm, and get more into regular operations.

     In everything, we've been seeking the Lord in what we should do and when. We don't see this farm as just a business, but a mission and an outreach to those around us here in Kentucky, and beyond just this area. This means we have to be doing things differently, seeing things differently, and following, not what is common sense, or what makes sense, but what direction the Lord is leading us.

Lessons from "Star Wars: The High Republic"

      Strange as it may seem, I was recently led by the Lord to purchase and read two books from the Star Wars: The High Republic series, one the Young Adult novel, the other written for an adult audience. To be honest, I had somewhat planned on skipping this series and hadn’t read or seen anything from it, and it wouldn’t have crossed my mind to read these particular books except the Lord pointed them out and let me know I needed to read them. Both of them. I’ll be honest further, I wasn’t impressed with the writing, the story lines, or the characters for the most part. But about halfway through the first one I read, I understood why I was supposed to read them. Through the lessons being taught to the Jedi in the novels, the Lord was trying to reinforce some truths to me and help me work through some things as well. These are the lessons which stood out the most:

     1) Jesus Christ chose you. He chose you to be His living incarnation, a member of His body, His conduit and channel; but you must also choose Jesus Christ. We cannot be His disciples if we do not choose Him; if we do not choose Him over property or possessions, if we do not choose Him over family members and loved ones, if we do not choose Him over our personal self-interests, ideas, desires, and so forth. Jesus Christ summoned us, but we must answer His summons and let go of whatever else we were holding onto.

     2) Love always demands that you let go. Not push away, but let go. Let the object of that love be free to make their own choices, to rise or fall as they will, and to be there if and when they return. There is no attachment, no clinging, in love. Attachment is about what we want, what pleases us. Love is about what is best for the other person, and everyone around you in general. Attachment is the opposite, the antithesis of love.

     Agape and attachment, or clinging, are two totally different things. Attachment looks out for the other's interests because the other pleases me in some way, or the other is important to my identity in some way. Agape looks out for the other's interests because it chooses to, and for no other ulterior reason or motive. Agape is completely devoid of selfishness, self interest, or self-centeredness. Agape will want the best for the person from whom it has no benefit, no personal profit, or even the person who becomes violent or harmful to it. Even in relation to oneself, agape is always looking outward to the things of others, and treats oneself as the other, wanting the best for it without being attached to it.

     Attachment fails when there is no longer self-interest to maintain it. When the thing or person ceases to please or becomes displeasing, the attachment fades or inverts to aversion where we become attached to the removal of the thing or person. Attachments to anything or anyone are in no one’s best interests, least of all the interests of the person who has the attachment. Agape does not fail, but neither does it cling. It lets go, and never seeks to hold onto anyone or anything. It seeks the best outcome for the other, all others, as well as oneself even if it must remove oneself from the equation. It weeps with those who weep, laughs with those who laugh, mourns with those who mourn, rejoices with those who rejoice, and does this all while not gripping these others for its own pleasure or happiness.

     3) How do I say this so that it's not confusing? Many of us believe, consciously or unconsciously, that there's a right "path" for each of us individually in life as though it had been predetermined, and if we just do the right things and take the right steps we'll be alright and find what we're looking for.

     In this respect, this kind of path doesn't exist. It's an illusion the human mind creates based on how the stories of others have gone, not taking into account that those others were writing their own stories as they lived them. Each one of us makes his own path by the choices that we make each and every moment. God the Father certainly knows what our outcomes are going to be, but not because He predetermined them. He knows what choices we're going to make because time moves through Him, He can clearly see the whole stretch and tapestry of time laid out in front of Him, but it is a tapestry woven, at least in part, by the choices we as sentient beings with free will make and it pleases Him for us to make them of our own accord. But we still have to make those choices in order for them to come about.

     We each walk our own individual paths, this is true. But unless the Path walks us, we walk those paths blindly. Unless it is Jesus Christ, the Path, through His Spirit with whom we have been made one walking His Path through us, then we walk our own paths as blind and deaf people stumbling and groping around in the darkness unable to see or hear. Unless it is Jesus Christ, with our explicit or implicit permission, influencing those choices and making those choices for us as we submit to Him, then our individual paths which we make lead only into more darkness.

     There is no path predetermined for any one of us individually, so in that respect, you cannot get lost. But without The Path walking you, you will grope around in the darkness lost or not.

Thoughts on Intentional and Unintentional Wrongs

      Something I've been ruminating on for a while now, and trying to work through.

     As I’ve been getting used to the copy of the Greek Septuagint I’ve acquired, my attention has been more drawn to the fact that the Torah distinguishes between intentional wrongdoing and unintentional wrongdoing, or in the Greek text, "adikia" and "hamartia." The Hebrew text which the Greek translates also distinguishes them as well [“‘avon,” “iniquity, guilt,” and “khata’,” “to miss one’s target”], so there’s no difference if I go from the Greek translation or the Hebrew original.) 

     There is a difference between "adikia" and "hamartia;" between intentional wrongdoing and a flaw, mistake, or malfunction. Intentional wrongdoing is a deliberate choice which is made. Whereas a mistake is just that. Something we didn't intend to happen, but did. God recognizes the difference between the two. When Paul talks about "sin" in Romans and his other letters, He's always talking about "hamartia." When people are called "sinners" in the Gospels and epistles, it's always a cognate of "hamartia." 

     There is no offering in the Torah for individual deliberate wrongdoing. Virtually all of the offerings for "sin" are for unintentional wrongdoing. The only offering for intentional wrongdoing appears to be the Day of Atonement, and this for the nation as a whole. "Adikia" must always be repented of and turned from in order to receive forgiveness, but there are also severe penalties involved under the Torah for deliberate wrongdoing. For "Hamartia" however, there must be a recognition and agreement that the thing occurred, and then there is an offering for it to satisfy the conscience. An example of this dichotomy is in the laws regarding homicide. If a person is killed unintentionally, the family is allowed to hunt the slayer down, but the slayer is allowed to run to a city of refuge where they can't touch him as long as he's within the walls. If however a person commits deliberate homicide, there's no protection for him. No refuge. Nowhere he can hide. And no sacrifice which can absolve him from the penalties which the Torah demands.

     We each of us as human beings have an internal malfunction which colors and informs every action we take, every word we speak, and nearly every thought we have. As a result, even the best of our intended words and actions are flawed, malfunctioning, and erroneous. We want to do good, to be good, but we find that our best efforts always miss the target for which we are aiming, and frequently it all goes wrong. This is hamartia, and the actions it produces. Hamartia itself is not adikia, but the flaw in our neurology produces the flaw in our thoughts, emotions, and reasoning which then can and does lead to deliberate wrongdoing as we seek to get what we want regardless of who we have to hurt to do it.

     God has never needed sacrifices in order to forgive us. That was a human invention in order to satisfy our own malfunctioning consciences. In the Torah, there were sacrifices prescribed, not because God was wrathful and angry and demanded, but because we in our malfunction needed something to assure us of that forgiveness, and the practice of blood sacrifice had already been well established for thousands of years by that time. The sacrifices for sin that were established were there in case the person realized he or she had done something wrong or made some mistake, hurt someone without intending to.

     Deliberate wrongdoing is a different animal. God wants to forgive even this, but would it help anyone, including the offender, if He just overlooked someone intentionally hurting someone else and continuing to do it? God runs to forgive, but the person in turn must come to their senses and turn away from the deliberate harm they had been causing. They must change their minds and hearts and take a different path away from their wrongdoing.

     The difference between them is not always easy to recognize visually. There are few people in the world that believe they’re not doing the right thing, at least for them. Some of the most hurtful and harmful actions have been done in the name of “the good,” or “doing the right thing.” Consider the Islamic conquests after Muhammed, and the Crusades which followed a few hundred years later. Both sides believed they were in the right, and even doing the will of God, and yet both sides were killing each other and committing atrocities. They were both malfunctioning in a big way and causing massive amounts of harm even as those so doing believed they were doing good and intended to do good.

     Here's the thing. It's okay if we make mistakes, even if they're big ones. Each of us can only operate according to what we understand to be “the good” or the “right thing” according to the cultural or religious moral codes with which we’ve been brought up or to which we’ve personally adhered. God doesn’t hold us responsible for what we don’t know. But it's not okay to deliberately and willfully cause harm. It's okay to try and fail, or if you’re only doing what you were taught was the right thing, even if it’s causing hurt or harm that you’re not aware of. It's not okay to intentionally hurt someone, or to continue in a hurtful or harmful action when you’ve been made aware of it. It's one thing to succumb to temptation and screw up without meaning to. It's another to hurt someone intentionally, or act selfishly with no regard to who we hurt, and then go to God expecting to be forgiven for it so you can do it again without consequence. He didn't put up with it under the Mosaic Covenant. What makes us think He'll put up with it under the New Covenant?

     The path of Jesus Christ begins with this change of mind and heart about the deliberate wrongdoing and harm we've inflicted on others and even ourselves. It begins with the recognition that we're not okay, and the harm we've inflicted is not okay. It then continues with putting our trust into Jesus Christ, and our union with Him through inclusion into His death, burial, and resurrection through baptism, and surrendering control of our behaviors and responses to His Spirit, submitting to Him just as He submitted to the Father, and imitating Him in this. As Jesus Christ Himself taught, we are to "repent and believe in the Gospel." God doesn't hold onto our past mistakes and wrongdoing if we turn around and change our hearts and minds about them. As was illustrated in the parable of the “Prodigal Son,” He will happily let them go for the joy of regaining His sons and daughters.

A Ramble About Losing The Way

 Jesus says to him, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father if not through Me.”

-John 14:6

“I am the real vine and My Father is the Vinedresser. Every single branch within Me not producing fruit He removes it, and every single branch which produces the fruit He cleans it so that it would produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the message which I had talked to you; make your home within Me, and I within you. Just like the branch can’t produce fruit from itself if it shouldn’t make its home within the vine, in this way neither you if you shouldn’t make your home within Me. I Am the Vine, you are the branches. The person making his home within Me and I within him this person produces a lot of fruit, because separated from Me you absolutely can’t do anything at all. If someone shouldn’t make his home within Me, he was tossed outside like the branch and was dried up and they collect them and toss them into the fire and they are burned.”

-John 15:1-6

“When the Way is lost, there is virtue.

When virtue is lost, there is empathy.

When empathy is lost, there is justice.

When justice is lost, there are rules.

Rules are the beginning of chaos.

When people do not respond, 

they roll up their sleeves and use force.”

-Tao Te Ching, passage 38 (adapted from several translations)

     I’ve started reading a Star Wars novel about “The High Republic” today, and to be very honest, it’s difficult to get through. What bothers me most about reading or partaking in Star Wars stories is that the writers frequently have no understanding of religious orders or monasticism in general. The Jedi are, first and foremost, a religious order devoted to the Force. They take vows of poverty, non-attachment, and commit to obedience to their spiritual masters as they grow in their faith and practice in the Force. Yet in the books and stories, they do not behave like those who have taken religious vows. There is a flippancy, a worldliness, an irreverence about their religion among almost all of them with perhaps the exception of Chirrut Imwe (admittedly not a Jedi, but a Guardian of the Whills and a religious devotee), Master Yoda, and ironically, Darth Vader. Even the character of Maz Kanata in “The Force Awakens” appears to have a deeper reverence for the object of her faith than those who have taken vows to it.

     The reason behind this however is very simple. Most of the time, the writers really don’t have any concept of what religious monks or nuns are actually like, only caricatures, and of course there are no real Jedi to base their stories on (except perhaps the Shaolin monks in China, though their lifestyles and practices appear to have been ignored). A writer can’t convincingly write what they don’t know, and these writers which have been hired don’t know what it means to be a religious.

     As I’ve considered this question however, it has occurred to me that the way the Jedi are portrayed in the High Republic so far is that they have lost “the Way.” They can use the Force, but they are really just people in religious garb with religious rules that everyone secretly despises pretending to be its religious and clergy. They levy the rules upon their adherents, but there is no real devotion or understanding. And as has been discussed many times, their understanding of the Force itself is unbalanced and askew, their rigid doctrines to which they adhere about the Living Force become their downfall as they blind themselves to the full truth of its nature and scope. This is something which Luke tried to explain to Rey in “The Last Jedi.”

     Jesus Christ is the Way. He is both the goal and the means of reaching the goal made a flesh and blood human being. As long as one remains within Him, that person walks the Way effortlessly because the Way walks him. When a person doesn’t remain within Him, he steps off of the Way, and goes wandering, trying to do by effort all the things the Way did through him without effort. But because the Way is not walking him, he cannot walk the Way and devolves to just following rules and forcing everyone else to follow rules. What is worse, if there is no one left to guide that person back onto the Way, no one who knows the Way back, he must grope around on his own like a blind man in the dark. When all are blind men, no one can find the Way.

     The Church in the world today has also lost the Way. Individuals may stumble across Him and hold on for dear life, but the Church Universal has devolved to rules and rituals at worst, and empathy at best. The Way Himself is not walked, and does not walk them because they do not remain in Him. They do not remain in Him, because they are not taught to remain in Him. They are not taught to remain in Him, because their guides were not taught to remain in Him, but were only taught rules and rituals to keep and force on those not even a part of their communities. The Church universal is governed largely by the blind trying to lead the blind with the Light shining all around them which they cannot see because no one knows how. And those guides are frequently, though unintentionally, leading them into pits and ditches.

     When the Church first began, its members were called “Followers of the Way.” It’s time we returned to that simple yet powerful statement about who we are and what we’re about.