A Ramble About "Fiddler on the Roof"

Several years ago when we were in college up in Canada and still dating, a large part of the group of friends we hung out with were theater majors. As a result, the videos we often watched together as a group were often either stage musicals or movie musicals adapted from stage. One such movie I remember watching with our theater friends was "Fiddler on the Roof".



The truth is, I don't remember the names of any of the characters which is a shame. But I do remember clearly some lines from the opening scene spoken by the main character as he describes his very Jewish village in Russia. He starts describing the tassels that they wear on their clothes, the prayers shawls, and then he says, "why do we do it? No one knows. It's tradition." And that pretty much sums up the religious observance of the town. They no longer knew, understood, or cared why they did what they did, or any spiritual reasons behind it. They just kept doing it because it had always been done that way, and because it was their tradition.



I've come to realize that most of the Church is the same way. There are certain practices which have been permitted, and certain practices which have been forbidden by the Church since the very beginning. I have written about homosexuality, for example, in my last Ramble. This practice was forbidden along with every other kind of sexual contact outside of marriage. But does anyone remember the real reason why? No. Not really. It's been two thousand years, and by this time, no one really cares. This is the way it is. There are many other things as well such as involvement in politics, involvement in the military, being against abortion, obedience to one's pastors and clergy, voluntary poverty, and other things.



As a result, either the practices continue much like our friend from the Jewish village in Russia, or they get dropped as meaningless traditions. When he didn't actually know the reasons for things, or what the Scriptures said, he made things up off the top of his head, and what he came up with was as good a reason as any to him.



Many churches today just simply call those restrictions and practices of the ancient Church "legalism", and take the view that they were somehow trying to earn their salvation through self-abuse. They don't take the time to actually go back and study what they wrote and left behind to find out why they did what they did.



The truth is that all of those restrictions were self-imposed for very good reasons. They had one goal in mind, and that goal was Jesus Christ. They didn't want any distractions or anything in their lives which could drag them backwards. When they labeled something as sinful, they weren't necessarily assigning a moral value to it, they were saying "look, if I do this I know I'm catering to my own self based interests. I know that if I go to the theater and see this play, it will arouse certain feelings in me which will distract me and blind me from my goal and I don't want that to happen." St. Paul expresses this kind of sentiment eloquently in Philippians chapter 3 where he says he counts everything in his life as trash in comparison with the knowledge of Christ Jesus his Lord.



The problem is that somewhere along the way, down through the centuries, we stopped actually focusing on the reason why we do these things, and started focusing on the things being done. Instead of saying "I'm doing this to draw closer to God by removing the distractions and pitfalls in my life." We began saying, "I'm doing this because if I don't do it I'm going to be in sin." Or "I'm going to hell if I do/don't do this thing." In other words, we lost our Way when we lost our focus on Jesus Christ and started focusing on the things being done.



Somewhere along the way, the Church forgot the reason why it does what it does, and it was then picked up only by a few every so often as they searched hard for it. We honor these people as Saints, but we don't understand why or how they did what they did. We began to believe that the calling to union with God through Jesus Christ was to only the very few, and the rest of us had to just make do and hope we do enough of the right things to make it into heaven. What a magnificent lie that is.



The calling to deification, union with God through Jesus Christ, is the spiritual heritage of every baptized Christian. It is our inheritance and prize, and it is the reason for the self-discipline which changes our whole lives and turns them upside down and doing things which seem to be anything but freedom to those watching from the outside. The austerities and self-sacrifices do not bring it about, but they do assist in helping facilitate it. They do not cause our salvation, but they do assist in moving away from our selves and moving towards Jesus Christ. The ancient Church knew that.



If there is to be any true hope for the Church, then we must reclaim the one goal for ourselves. We must understand the one reason why we place the restrictions on ourselves that we do, and we must place it above everything else in our lives. Jesus Christ is the beginning, the means, and the goal of our lives as we walk His path. If we lose sight of Him, then everything we do becomes pointless.

A Ramble About Homosexuality

There's a nightly political show that I enjoy watching as a podcast on my computer. The host is a militantly liberal Democrat who enjoys pointing out the inconsistencies and errors of the Republican party. I don't always agree with her, but I appreciate her viewpoint and her commitment to journalistic integrity. This host is also a lesbian, and she often reports on political news stories which are of importance to the homosexual community.



There seem to be many reasons for someone being or choosing to be homosexual. Some women choose homosexuality because they no longer trust men, or have been molested as children. Some men who have been molested as children also choose homosexuality. There doesn't seem to make any difference as to what gender the molester was. Others choose it as a form of rebellion against parents. Still others are legitimately born with their sexual wires crossed. How many people are homosexual for which reason I don't know, and I don't think anyone else really does either.



Those who are sexually attracted to the same gender generally seem to just want to be left in peace, without being condemned by anyone for who or what they are. They want the right to marry the people they are in love with and to have those marriage legally recognized and protected like everyone else's. They want the right to adopt kids and raise families just like any other couple. Ironically, if homosexuality was recognized as a disorder or disability, all of these things would be protected by law under the Americans with Disabilities Act.



Homosexuality is nothing new. It was very common in the ancient world. Among the Greeks and Romans homosexuality was very common and widely practiced. It is said of Julius Caesar that he was "every woman's man and every man's woman." The relationship between Alexander the Great and his best friend is well known and was documented in the movie "Alexander". There, however, the idea of two men "marrying" would have been unthinkable. Marriages were social contracts between two families meant to produce legitimate offspring and heirs. Sexual relations didn't require marriage, neither for that matter did offspring. But legitimate offspring that could carry on a family's name, honor, and wealth did require it. If the couple being married were attracted to or held affection for each other, so much the better, but it wasn't considered an absolute necessity. For the same reasons, homosexuality is practiced in differing tribal groups as well. This understanding of homosexuality is that it is only about the sexual act and deriving sensual pleasure from that act becoming aroused by the physical attractiveness of the other person. In reality, there is no difference between this kind of homosexual practice and heterosexual practice. The only difference is which gender's body parts cause the arousal.



The religious rule of the Christian path is one which has the union with God through Jesus Christ as its goal. It is meant to strip away everything else which could distract from or obstruct this single purpose. Early on, it was recognized by both Jesus Christ Himself and St. Paul, that the ideal "sexual state" to further this purpose was chastity. They also recognized that not everyone was capable of this. St. Paul said that it was better to remain even as he was, unmarried, but that it was no sin to be married if you couldn't handle it. But this was the only sexual activity which was legitimized by either Jesus or Paul, or for that matter the Church for the last two thousand years.



At the time, the question of whether or not marriage was only between a man and a woman wasn't even asked. The functional purpose of marriage was legitimate offspring which was impossible if the happy couple was the same gender. Marriages were performed as a Sacrament recognizing that this sexual union was authorized and blessed by the Church as a furtherance to the goal of union with God through Jesus Christ. It was also obvious that if there was no marriage then there would be no legitimate offspring. But union with God was still the goal of the people involved, and the marriage was seen as a means to further that goal.



There is the romantic idea today that marriage is about finding the right person to "fall in love with" and make you happy. That if you find the right person to complete you then you will live happily ever after. This is a delusion, but it is a delusion which is continually propagated by our culture and society today. If you enter into a marriage with only your own happiness in view, and expecting your spouse to make your happy, then you are entering it with only your own selfish desires in view. You are intent on using the other person to further your own goals. This is not love, and this is not the point or the goal of the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage is about drawing closer to God through Jesus Christ in sacrificing yourself daily for the other person.



Homosexuals want to be married for the same reason heterosexuals do. They want to live happily ever after with the person they are in love with. This is as much of a delusion as it is for heterosexuals. It is just as selfish, and the reasoning is just as incompatible with the path of Jesus Christ for this reason.



Can a homosexual be a Christian? Absolutely! Can a heterosexual be a Christian? Absolutely! Being a part of the body of Christ and pursuing the high calling of God in Jesus Christ has absolutely nothing to do with one's sexual desires or what stimulates them to sexual arousal. Following Jesus Christ means dying to your own desires, ambitions, and selfish interests and putting the needs and desires of the other person into prime importance.



The path of Jesus Christ tells us to have compassion and mercy for everyone: close friends, acquaintances, total strangers, and people who don't like you and whom you may not like. It tells us to love others no matter who they are. Sexual desire isn't love. It's a physical impulse which urges us to mate. The path of Jesus Christ urges us to close relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ loving one another as He loved us. We are called to respect them, encourage them, and put their interests above our own. It doesn't matter if they are male or female. There is nothing wrong with friendships and close relationships between two people of the same gender in this context, but we are not to use them to further our own selfish ends or to fulfill our own selfish desires.



It is for all of these reasons that the Church cannot recognize or solemnize a homosexual marriage. There are a good many heterosexual marriages which probably shouldn't be solemnized either because of the reasons for the marriage, but that is the responsibility of the cleric who performs the wedding. It isn't always obvious to the cleric who performs the marriage what the motives of a marriage are, but there are no legitimate motives for a homosexual marriage which furthers the goal of union with God through Jesus Christ.



The Bible says, "as much as is possible, live in peace with all people." This is true of homosexual people as well. They should not be reviled. They should not be discriminated against in society. If a homosexual couple wishes to live together or adopt children, there should be no outcry against it from we who follow Jesus Christ. They should be recognized and given the same respect and honor as we would give anyone else. If a homosexual wants to follow Jesus Christ, awesome! We shouldn't expect them to become something that they're not any more than God expected us to become something that we're not. But they and we need to follow Him on the understanding that it isn't about what we want anymore. It's not about making ourselves happy. It's not about succeeding in achieving all of our dreams and desires. It's about consigning all of our dreams and desires to the Cross with Him, and letting who we are die with Him, so that His life is lived through us.

A Ramble About Listening

Listening to what someone has to say is a complicated prospect at best. It involves not only allowing the words from the person to travel and enter your ear canals, but also involves giving the person your complete attention. Listening to a person involves not only your ears, but your eyes as well as you watch their body language and posture. It involves more than just processing the sounds and syllables that person's mouth and voicebox make into meaningful symbols of thought, but also involves listening for the tone and mood of the speaker. This is why women tend to be better at it than men do, because they pay attention to all of these things instinctively, rather than just focusing on the words being said. Men tend to be pretty myopic.



Listening to God is a similarly complicated prospect. I was watching "Evan Almighty" the other day, and this one part stuck out to me. When the main bad guy Congressman addresses Evan and asks, "You talk to God? ... And He talks back?" As though this was certainty of Evan's insanity. Often the idea of God speaking to us is considered akin to hearing disembodied voices in our heads telling us to do harmful things. The other reaction is almost as equally harmful, when people start mobbing the person to whom God is speaking.



The truth is that God generally isn't as silent as we think He is. He is different. He is other. And learning to listen to Him involves many of the same elements as learning to listen to anyone else. The first and most important thing is to pay attention to Him. Give Him your complete attention. Not to your perception of what you think He is like, but to pay attention to Him as He is; completely other from us. He is everywhere there is a "where" simultaneously, knows you better than you do, and is not bound by time and space. This is the hardest thing for us to do, even with human conversation. It is harder still when attempting to listen to someone who is outside of our human senses.



The second thing to consider, is that while He may give you a heads up that something might happen involving you soon, He is rarely specific about what that might be. I think I've come to understand that this is for our own good. If we knew specifics beforehand, we might do something stupid and change the desired outcome. He often tells us, "just trust Me," for this reason. Another reason for it is that the specifics are so over our heads it would be a waste of time for Him to sit down and try to explain it to us. He's always got our best interests in mind and He asks us to believe that. When God speaks to us, it has very little to do with future events and a whole lot more to do with what's happening right here and right now. Asking Him about future events, unless He has a purpose in mind for telling you, is pointless. If it is counterproductive for His goals for you to tell you something, He will remain silent and say "just trust Me."



The third thing to consider is that He will always speak to you in a way that you can understand (assuming that you are paying attention to Him in the first place). He's not going to use signs and symbols (which are the basis of any language, verbal or visual) which are meaningless to you.



The fourth thing to consider is that He often wants to talk about things that we don't want to talk about. In my most productive prayer times, most of the "conversation" centers around things in my life which I haven't dealt with yet. It usually involves me stripping away the comfortable illusions I surround myself with and approaching Him "naked" and for that reason, it terrifies me to go there at times. He doesn't do this to be harsh, He just has different goals in mind for me than I do at times and He wants me to meet those goals even when I would rather talk about other things: ANY other things.



When we approach God, we need to ask ourselves "why are we approaching Him?" We need to examine ourselves and determine if what we want to talk about has to do with our own self-destructive desires. If what we are asking Him is clearly counter to His goals for us, we need to reconsider.



Finally, in order to really listen to Him, we have to silence ourselves. It is impossible to have a conversation with someone when you won't let them talk, and end up answering your own questions by making assumptions based on your understanding of things. In this kind of a scenario, in order to tell you anything really important, the other person would have to slap you to get your attention. Sometimes God does the equivalent of slapping us hard when we won't shut up long enough to listen to Him. He knows I've taken a few good hits with a 2x4 before I've paid attention.



Truth is, God speaks to us all the time. It's not unusual. It's certainly not proof of insanity to recognize it. It's our natural spiritual autism that keeps us from being able to hear Him. It takes a lot of effort on our part to be able to recognize and acknowledge Him when He does. It probably takes double that for Him to finally get a message across to us.

Rambling About the Desires of our Hearts

“Trust in Yahweh, and do good. Dwell in the land, and enjoy safe pasture. Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will make your righteousness go forth as the light, and your justice as the noon day sun. Rest in Yahweh, and wait patiently for him. Don’t fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who makes wicked plots happen.” (Psalm 37:3-7, WEB)



How do you explain it when God doesn't grant the desires of someone's heart, but instead rips those desires out of their hands? How do you explain it when God strips you of everything you wanted in life? All too often these questions are ignored or twisted by well meaning Christians. The answer usually thrown out there is that "you have to have faith!" Or something to the effect of, "if you just believed more!"



The people who give these answers really just don't get it. They follow a line of thought that is extremely popular in Christian circles today which says that God wants to bless you, give you everything you want out of life, and make all your dreams come true as though God was a fairy godmother come to send them to the ball to marry a prince. It makes me angry just thinking about it.



God's one goal for us in life is to know Him. It's for us to respond to Him and come into union with Himself. His perception of our existence goes far beyond our mortal lives. Everything He does or permits to happen to us is with this in mind.He knows we are spiritually blind or autistic and His goal is to bring us out of it. He uses anything at His disposal to do it. If wealth in our lives will accomplish His purpose, then He will do it. If extreme poverty will accomplish His goal, then He will do that too.



Most often what accomplishes His goal for us is to carefully strip away our illusions. As human beings who are spiritually autistic, we tend to only put our trust in those things which we can see. This is extremely short sighted and counter productive. We only feel secure when we can see walls of protection around us. We only feel like we will have enough when we can see the source of our provision. We irrationally assume that it will always be there, and the more rational acknowledgement that it is impermanent throws us into worry, confusion, and chaos. He then takes great pains to carefully strip away these illusions of security and control that we build around ourselves like flimsy, shoddily constructed shelters on a beach.



As long as the weather is warm, the sun is out, and life seems good, those shelters give us a false sense of security. If a light rain comes, or maybe unwelcome visitors at night, they keep us reasonably dry and protected. We feel safe and warm by the light of a cooking fire nearby. But what happens when a hurricane comes? Do those shelters protect us? No. They are stripped away. The fire is blown out. We are left battered, injured, cold, and naked before the force of the storm.



Sometimes God uses hurricanes in our lives to do just this because it's the only thing that will get our attention. The desires of our hearts which we seek are really only these illusions and fantasies that we build around ourselves. God has to strip them away if we're going to progress in His goal for us, to know Him as He is.



I my life I've had several goal, dreams, and desires. So has my wife. We still do. God has sent hurricane after hurricane to strip them from us. What's funny is that I've stopped worrying about it. I've come to realize that the thing I really want most out of life is really the same thing that He wants and it's the only thing worth attaining, to know Him as He is, and to become one with Him. Everything else in life, pleasant or unpleasant, needs to line up with this goal or it's not worth having and is only a distraction from it.



God does enjoy giving good gifts to His children. There is no question about that. What good father wouldn't? But the children don't always understand what a good gift really is, and what a harmful one is. The children don't always understand why chores need to be done. The children don't understand why they need to go to school. In particular, an autistic child may not understand why their parent is doing the things they do with him or her, when everything that parent does is to help them get treatment. Sometimes treatment is uncomfortable and it hurts. For a kid with autism who doesn't understand, it may seem like the end of the world.



If we are truly delighting ourselves in Yahweh, then He is the only desire of our hearts, and He is happy to give us more of Himself.

A Ramble About Politics

As I follow this year's election year politics in the news, I find myself in a strange position. My wife tells me that, as a priest, I need to watch how political I get with my comments and posts. She's probably right... as usual. But I find myself in the strange position of opposing candidates with whom I share viewpoints.



The truth is that I am anti-abortion. I would not support the termination of a pregnancy for any reason. I don't believe that homosexual relationships are either biblical or healthy, much less the sanction of such relationships with marriage. Like all of the candidates this year (although I'm not certain of Ron Paul), I am a professing Christian. I do believe in and practice regular prayer with my family. I don't agree with the Mormon faith on every point (although I have found a number of Mormons more faithful than traditional Christians). So why am I finding myself cringing at the idea of handing the keys to the White House to someone who share most if not all of my values in this respect? But here I find myself. I was reading yet another article today about one of the Republican candidate's positions and finding myself both agreeing with the ideas and yet similarly repulsed by his exposition of them.



I think that the single issue which divides me from any of these candidates is that they have professed that they want to see them enforced on the country as a whole. The idea is that everyone would be better off if they were forced to abide by Christian principles and religious rule. I think this is a mistake. I think history makes the case very well that theocracy doesn't work. From the lessons of history we learn that when an absolutist religion takes over the functions of government then both the religion and the government suffer for it, and no one can make the case that Christianity is not an absolutist religion. Jesus Christ is either the only way, the only truth, and the only life for those who profess Him, or He is not and there is no middle ground.



So why wouldn't we want to impose Christian rule over the land? Let me ask you this, should migrant workers here as guests of this country fight to impose Mexican rule over the land? We would say absolutely not, it's not their country. They're here as guests and they must abide by our rules, not us by theirs.



For the Church, this country is not ours to rule. No nation of this world is. We are foreigners passing through. Migrant workers and immigrants only here until we're called home. We are guests, not citizens. Our citizenship is with God in Christ, not with any nation of this world. It is just as inappropriate for us to demand that those of this world live by our rules and customs as it is for the Mexican migrant worker to demand that Americans live like Mexicans.



I will not support any member of the Church getting an abortion, taking part in a homosexual relationship, or doing anything which would damage their relationship with God through Christ. But that is for our Family. That is an internal matter. I have no say on what happens on the outside, nor should I.



The Church and the State should remain separate because the State must govern those outside of the Church as fairly as it governs those inside of it. The State doesn't have the luxury of preferring one group of people under it's jurisdiction over another. The State can't take Christian religious rules and force Muslims, pagans, or athiests to live by them and still remain fair and just. The State is of this world, and will never be anything else. As Christians, we are told to respect the authority of the State, and to pray for those rulers that are set over us, no matter how much we may disagree with them. If we were to travel to any other country, such as Mexico or Germany, we would be expected to respect and abide by the laws and authorities of those countries, and we would be held responsible if we violated those laws or disrespected those authorities. It is no different between the Church and the State. In the ancient Church, Christians didn't even attempt to seek government positions because of everything that went with it.



We must be followers of Jesus Christ first. We must be members of His Family first. Everything else is secondary, including and especially our earthly citizenship. We need to remember that.

A Ramble About Blindness

Let's try an experiment. Close your eyes and cover them over with a blindfold. Alternately, when it's late at night and there are no other lights on, turn off all the lights in your house. Get to a point where you can't even see your hand in front of your face. I started doing this when I was a kid because I was fascinated with nocturnal animals. The total loss of your sight is disorienting and you begin to wonder where everything is. Fear sets in. You begin to panic a little as you don't remember how far away the wall is, or a chair that you were certain was somewhere near you a few seconds ago. Now try walking around the room. Maybe try walking from one room to another. You'll find that you walk haltingly, reaching out your hands to feel if something is in front of you, gently moving your feet afraid of kicking something you can't see. Somewhere deep inside you, the fear of someone jumping out and surprising you is building.



One thing I learned from doing this little exercise is that nothing in the room has actually changed. There is no one else in the room that wasn't there before I lost the ability to see anything. The walls are still exactly where they were before the lights went out. The chair, the table, and the sleeping dog are right where I left them. My environment around me stays exactly the same as when I could see. The only thing which has changed is my perception of it. I have changed, not the space around me.



Our relationship with God is a lot like this. He doesn't change, but we do. All too often we do something which puts a blindfold over our eyes and we can no longer "see" Him around us even when we could "see" Him perfectly well a very short time before. It becomes frightening and disorienting. Every little thing seems that much scarier as we feel isolated and alone. He hasn't gone anywhere. He hasn't moved. He is eternally right here, and right now.



I've learned to appreciate the lessons that walking in total darkness or temporary blindness teaches me. It teaches me that even if everything goes dark, I can still feel safe knowing that it is only my perception which has changed, not the space around me. It makes me appreciate my other senses more and forces me to use them. It forces me to remember and trust that everything is right where I left it when I could see, and it reminds me that God is still who He is, and where He is and to trust that even when my perception is confused and trying to tell me something else.