A Ramble About Broken Things

I had just turned out the light the other night and was getting ready for bed. I then happened to look out my bedroom window onto the parking lot below. There, a few feet from our van there was what looked like an orange light, maybe some kind of a small fire. It was the oddest thing to see. I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see it very well. I turned this way in the window and that because I thought it might a reflection on the window from somewhere else in the room, but it stayed where it was. I couldn't figure out what it was, but there it stayed in the parking lot, blazing an orange light with everything that it had.

It bugged me so much that I got out of bed, went down stairs in my bare feet and went out into the cold, dark, and wet parking lot to find out what it was. I went to the spot where I had seen it from the window and checked it out. Do you know what it was?

It was an old, bent, and broken screw. I looked at it for a while. The head of the screw was still pretty polished and it had been reflecting the light of the streetlamp nearby. It had reflected it so well that it looked like someone had left a small fire going in the dark. Now that I think about it, the fact that it was bent at the angle it was probably what made it reflect light in my direction so well. If it had been perfectly straight and "useful", not only would it have shone the light in the wrong direction, but it might have been more of a danger to the cars that came and went through the parking lot.

There is a prevailing thought, I have heard, that is beginning to wind its way around a church whose people are near and dear to my heart, and who have shown me and my family a great deal of kindness in the past and even now continue to do so.

This thought is that somehow people can be too broken for the Lord to use, or put in leadership. Somehow, if you have issues or problems in your life, then you need to get these in order before you can be of any value to the Church or Christ.

This is utter nonsense. What's worse is that it is totally in contradiction to the clear teachings of Holy Scripture and all precedents therein. The names of broken screws and nuts within the Scriptures are nearly endless: Moses, David, Paul, even Daniel had certain issues (he was probably a eunuch, remember? Just try and tell me that doesn't give someone issues).

First, God uses those people who are weak, who are foolish, who are seen as nothing to completely befuddle and put to shame the things of this world. 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 is quite clear about this.

Second, to believe that you are perfectly healthy or ok spiritually, to believe that you have it all together is an extremely dangerous place to be, and is a hairsbreadth from darkness if you haven't already plunged yourself into it. "Let he who thinks he stand take heed lest he falls."

The path of the cross is one of constant admittance that there is something wrong with you. You are malfunctioning. There will be something wrong with you until you die. This is the reality of what St. Paul teaches. You cannot live in the reality of the resurrection until you submit to the reality of the cross. You cannot live until you submit to death.

It does no good for a recovering alcoholic to suddenly say to himself, "oh, I'm fine, I don't have a problem with this any more." If he does this, and then tells himself one sip won't hurt him, then it will be another sip, and then the rest of the bottle. Self is the same way except far more insidious in that often you don't realize it's happening until it's too late.

God doesn't just use broken things; they're often the only things God uses. Furthermore, admission of being broken isn't just the beginning of the Path of Jesus Christ, it's the constant guide along it. When you stop following that guide is when you plunge off the Path and then it can be really hard to find your way back.

1 John 1:8 says "if we say we are without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:10 says "If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. 1 John 1:9 is a great verse, and comforting when we admit our sin, but we cannot just ignore 8 and 10 because we don't want to see it.