Wounded Sheep

"There was a rancher who owned a lot of sheep, and shepherds were hired to watch over different flocks. Some flocks were larger, some were smaller, but all the sheep belonged ultimately to the rancher, not the individual shepherd in charge of them.

Some of the shepherds were doing their job well and faithfully. The sheep were well cared for, and the shepherds had the exhaustion and bags under their eyes to prove it. Other shepherds however were not. Some beat the sheep under their care. Some didn't feed them properly. Others overfed them but then didn't exercise them. Some were abused in other ways, or poisoned because the shepherd didn't seem to know the difference between good feed and bad. Some shepherds were fleecing the sheep far too often, and as such they were sick and ill prepared for the winter.

As a result, some sheep broke from their flocks and stalls and ran for the hills, terrified of the shepherds put over them. Out in the hills, some of them were able to survive on their own and were doing okay for the most part. Others however got into poisonous plants. Some couldn't traverse the terrain and were injured, many of them quite seriously. Others ate themselves over cliffs, as sheep are quite capable of doing.

And as I saw this in my head, I could sense the concern the Rancher had for his sheep which had fled. I could also sense the anger which he had towards the shepherds in question, to whom He had entrusted His livestock."

This is probably one of the hardest forms of abuse to talk about for any Christian because we are conditioned from the beginning to submit to those in spiritual authority over us. They are supposed to have the answers and are supposed to guide us into a closer relationship with the Lord.

When we join a church or a Christian organization, we put ourselves into the vulnerable position of obedience to that church, and that church's leadership's authority over us because that is what we are taught to do by Holy Scripture and by common universal tradition within the church. And any dissent from the teaching of that church leadership, or accusation against that church leadership is almost automatically seen and dealt with as heresy and divisiveness.

We are taught that we need the communion, fellowship, and ordinances or Sacraments of that church (and sometimes only that church), in order to remain right with God.

This kind of abuse happens when this is used as leverage by the church leadership and other members of the congregation to extort money, favors, position, agreement with their decisions no matter how hurtful they may be, etc. from a church member. They are threatened with excommunication, shaming, and loss of friends and even family if they don't comply.

Another kind of abuse also happens when a church leader simply puts his own interests above the interests of those in his congregation who need his counsel, support, and guidance. This is the abuse of pastoral neglect.

In the same way, and using much the same leverage, pastors, priests, and other church leaders can also experience the same kind of abuse at the hands of their own pastoral superiors, or in the case of more democratic churches, at the hands of their own congregations.

The victims of this abuse are made to feel like they're the ones doing something wrong. They're the heretics. They're the ones causing the problem. They're too needy. They need to suck it up and get a life.

What can be worse is those within the church who haven't gone through it and who don't understand.

This isn't Jesus. But all too often, because people begin to associate their church leaders with Jesus, they react to Him as though He is the one abusing or neglecting them when nothing could be farther from the truth.

God is not the abuser, he is the one who heals, comforts, and loves His sheep. This is the first distinction which must be made clear so that, in fleeing the abusive shepherds, we don't run from our owner.

A Ramble About Meat

I was going back through this passage in Galatians today in Greek for a translation notes project I have been a part of. It says:

“λεγω δε πνευματι περιπατειτε και επιθυμιαν σαρκος ου μη τελεσητε η γαρ σαρξ επιθυμει κατα του πνευματος το δε πνευμα κατα της σαρκος ταυτα γαρ αλληλοις αντικειται ινα μη α εαν θελητε ταυτα ποιητε ει δε πνευματι αγεσθε ουκ εστε υπο νομον φανερα δε εστιν τα εργα της σαρκος ατινα εστιν πορνεια ακαθαρσια ασελγεια ειδωλολατρια φαρμακεια εχθραι ερις ζηλος θυμοι εριθειαι διχοστασιαι αιρεσεις φθονοι μεθαι κωμοι και τα ομοια τουτοις α προλεγω υμιν καθως προειπον οτι οι τα τοιαυτα πρασσοντες βασιλειαν θεου ου κληρονομησουσιν.”

In English, it says,

“But I say walk by the Spirit and you won't at all complete the craving of the meat because the meat craves against the Spirit and the Spirit against the meat because these things oppose one another so that you might not do whatever things you wish, and if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the Torah, and the actions of the meat are visible, which are whorings, dirtiness, wanton violence, idolatry, hallucinogenic drug abuse, hostilities, discord, jealousy, rages, campaigns, dissensions, factions, grudges, alcoholism, partying and such things as these which I speak to you beforehand just as I spoke beforehand that those practicing such things as these will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:16-21, my own translation)

The word sarx is usually translated as “flesh”. The problem with the word “flesh” is that it's an archaic usage of English. The modern English word is “meat” like the kind that you buy at the grocery store, throw on the barbecue, fry up into a hamburger, or what hangs off of your bones and is riddled through with blood vessels and nervous tissues. Really what it means is “animal tissues.” It's the part of the human being which is physical and grows from two cells into billions.

A theory proposed a while back by Abraham Maslow, called the Hierarchy of Needs, says that when a person's needs are not being perceived as met, then that person won't be motivated to focus on the higher stages of needs. The most basic level of this hierarchy is the physiological; needs for food, rest, drink, sex, etc. The person will be so anxious and tense over the perceived needs being demanded by their physiology that they won't be focused on the higher stages like safety, love/acceptance, esteem, etc.

It occurred to me today that the "craving of the meat" which St. Paul was writing about refers to the cravings for food, sex, rest, drink, etc. and the frustration, fear, anger and suffering which arises when they are perceived as going unfulfilled. This in turn precipitates whoring, wanton violence, theft, adultery, lies, drug abuse, alcoholism, rages, etc. It is a chain that begins with the cravings of the physical body and can be broken at the beginning by walking by the Spirit.

The cravings exist as part of the normal functions of the body. The chain goes like this, the body becomes hungry (a normal bodily function), it then experiences a craving for food. What happens next is where things go askew. If there is faith that this craving will be dealt with (one way or the other), then the psyche is patient until it is. If there is fear that the craving will not be dealt with, this precipitates the actions the psyche believes are necessary to fulfill the craving regardless of what those actions might be. Because,

“ουκ εκ πιστεως παν δε ο ουκ εκ πιστεως αμαρτια εστιν”

"everything not from faith is a malfunction" (Romans 14:23b, my own translation)

In 1 John, there is another list where the “craving of the meat” also appears.

“η επιθυμια της σαρκος και η επιθυμια των οφθαλμων και η αλαζονια του βιου, ουκ εστιν εκ του πατρος αλλ εκ του κοσμου εστιν.”

“the craving of the meat and the craving of the eyes and the false pretensions of one's mode of life are not from the father but are from the world.” (1 John 2:16b)

“The craving of the eyes” is generally understood to be the desire for material possessions. “The false pretensions of one's mode of life” can be understood as the esteem one generates from who they think they are. One thing I realized today as well was that these too can be seen as fitting on Maslow's hierarchy. During our lives, we legitimately run into needing the use of certainly material things such as clothing, housing, a vehicle, kitchen utencils, etc. in order to meet our physiological needs. The same fork in the road occurs between faith and fear as to whether or not these needs are being perceived as being met, or will be met. In terms of acceptance and esteem, we do the same thing and respond according to either faith or fear. When we respond out of fear, we turn to the false image we create for ourselves based on how we are living and who we think we are.

In terms of these things, Gautama Siddharta, 500 years prior, also identified the root causes of the sufferings and cravings as well. He said:

“The cause of all sorrow lies at the very beginning; it is hidden in the ignorance from which life grows. Remove ignorance and you will destroy the wrong appetites that rise from ignorance; destroy these appetites and you will wipe out the wrong perception that arises from them; destroy wrong perception and there is an end of errors in individualized beings. Destroy the errors in individualized beings and the illusions of the six fields will disappear. Destroy illusions and the contact with things will cease to beget misconception. Destroy misconception and you do away with thirst. Destroy thirst and you do away with all morbid cleaving. Remove the cleaving and you destroy the selfishness of selfhood. If the selfishness of selfhood is destroyed you will … escape all suffering.” (Gospel of Buddha VII:8)

St. Paul said that the key to avoiding this spiral into suffering was to “walk by the Spirit.” Walking by the Spirit is the letting go of all of the attachments and addictions a person has in this life in favor of a single relationship with God through Jesus Christ. St.Paul also wrote:

“οι δε του Χριστου Ιησου την σαρκα εσταυρωσαν συν τοις παθημασιν και ταις επιθυμιαις.”

“But those of Christ Jesus crucified the meat together with the sufferings and the cravings.” (Galatians 5:24, my own translation)

He also wrote:

“ο γαρ αποθανων δεδικαιωται απο της αμαρτιας.”

“Because the person having died is put right from the malfunction.”(Romans 6:7, my own translation)

Walking by the Spirit means allowing all of these attachments and addictions to who you think you are, physiological needs, and what you think you might need wither and die within you. It means actively putting to death those attachments which you look to in order to inform you of who you are. It means actively having faith that all of these needs will be met at one point or another by a single relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and trusting that if they aren't, then they aren't really needs no matter what your “meat” is screaming at you. And once these attachments and addictions are dead, then so is the chain which gives birth to suffering and more craving.

One final thought, regardless of what you have convinced yourself of, if you aren't actively putting these attachments to death, then you aren't of Christ Jesus, because that is what those who are of Him do according to St. Paul. 

A Ramble About the Psyche

"ος γαρ αν θελη την ψυχην αυτου σωσαι απολεσει αυτην ος δ' αν απολεση την εαυτου ψυχην ενεκεν εμου και του ευαγγελιου ουτος σωσει αυτην"

“Because whoever wishes to save his own psyche will destroy it, and whoever would destroy his psyche for my sake and the sake of this gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:35, my translation)

I've reflected on this passage a lot. It's one of the teachings of Jesus that occurs in all three synoptic gospels. It's usually translated as “...save his own life will lose it...” But the problem with this translation is that the original word is, quite literally, psyche, and not one of the regular words which “life” usually translates (being ζωή  or βίος) .

The most common translation for “ψυχη” is “soul.” Other translations are “life, self, conscious self or personality, center of emotions and desires, etc.” According to Dictionary.com, “psyche” means “soul, spirit, or mind,” and the psychological definition of “psyche” is “the totality of the human mind, conscious and unconscious.” “Psyche” is comprehensive of the combination of experiences, memories, reasoning, and physiological factors which inform and contribute to “who” a person is. If one were to look back at all the possible translations and uses of the word “ψυχη” in Greek, it seems like the definition hasn't really changed much in two thousand years.

The simplest definition of the word “psyche” as it pertains to the person is “I”. Whenever we say “I do this” or “I go there” or “I think” it is our psyche that we are referring to as the “I.”

As human beings we tend to cling tightly to the notion of our own psyches. That is, we have a set idea of the psyche we think we are, and we do everything we can to protect it and keep it the way we think it should be. We treat the psyche of a human being as though it is set in stone and immutable.

The problem with this is that the human psyche is only the sum of its components, just like a computer is only the sum of the hardware and software that is put together in order to form a whole system. But unlike a computer, the human psyche is in constant flux. Every new experience, every new thought, and the countless chemical reactions within the brain all cause the psyche to change from moment to moment, and thus the person changes from moment to moment, even if the change is only slight.

The root of the Buddha's teaching was that the idea of a permanent, indivisible self (in Sanskrit, “atman” which translates into Greek as “psyche”) was an illusion. The Buddha said that “The existence of self is an illusion, and there is no wrong in this world, no vice, except what flows from the assertion of self. The attainment of truth is possible only when self is recognized as an illusion.”

To cling to the psyche is like trying to hold on to the wind with your hand. And this is another definition of the word “ψυχη”, “breath.” The harder you try to hold on to who you think you are or are supposed to be, the more it escapes your grasp and all you end up with is frustration, futility, and in the end you find that you have destroyed your psyche in the attempt to save and protect it. Living in a large city area, it's not hard to find people on the streets who have suffered from this psychological destruction as they were helpless to prevent the loss of everything with which they identified their psyches.

The only way to preserve one's psyche is for one to let it go. Let go of the illusion that the psyche is fixed and permanent. Allow it to change and grow and be aware that it is never the same from one moment to the next and accept it. Don't cling to the idea of it, or allow it to be identified with anything which can be lost or destroyed.

Finally, Jesus said that the only way to save one's psyche was to destroy it for his sake and the sake of his Gospel. Traditionally, it is taught that the Gospel only refers to the death for our sins, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But if you look at how Jesus Himself used the word, Gospel refers to His entire body of teaching in the same way that the word “dharma” is used by the Buddha.

The core of what Jesus taught in terms of practice was the letting go of possessions, passions, judgments and relationships, as well as one's own psyche. He taught that if anyone wanted to follow Him, that person needed to disown himself, take up the method of his own execution (that is, die to himself), and then follow Him. This is what it means to destroy your psyche for His sake and for the sake of the Gospel. It means to let go of everything your psyche is attached to in obedience to what He taught. And once you let go of everything impermanent and corruptible with which you have identified your psyche, then, through the joining of your psyche to Him through baptism into His death, you will save it. Because He has risen immortal and undying, so too will your psyche be immortal because it is grown together with Him.

As long as you cling to and assert the idea of your psyche, you will suffer loss and destroy your psyche instead. The only way to preserve it is to destroy all attachments to everything impermanent with which it is identified and identify it with what is permanent and immortal.

Just Rambling...

I haven't been writing on my blog as much as I have in the past. I suppose there are several reasons for that, but one of the main ones is that over the past year or so, I began to see that I kept saying a lot of the same things over and over again. For a preacher in a pulpit, that works just fine. Recycled sermons are the lifeblood of a pastor's Sunday mornings. But when your sermons are written out and published online for posterity to ponder on, it doesn't work quite as well.

Looking back over where I was when I started this journey to where I am now, I know that I'm not the same person I was in many, very important ways. I'd like to think that the gray in my hair and beard reflects some wisdom I've acquired along the way and not just poor genetics and a stressful life.

I have been writing lately, just not anything of real spiritual or philosophical import. Instead I've been working on my fiction writing with both fan fiction and original stuff that I've been posting online on various sites as well. I actually started writing fiction first when I was nine with a one page short story called “The Fury of Samod” on a manual typewriter which my mom used. This was before we had our first “real” computer back in 1984, a Tandy 1000EX with 256 KB of RAM, no hard drive, and less than VGA graphics. I think it might have had a 286 processor? Maybe? I wrote different short stories up through high school on that old computer, and then later used one just like it in college. While everyone else was getting acquainted with Windows 3.1 and '95, I was still using DOS on a floppy and a text based word processor for all of my papers with a Dot Matrix printer, but I digress.

As I've been writing and publishing my work online, I've actually been getting people dowinloading and reading it. They've even liked it! No, it's not the NY Times Bestseller list, but a few hundred people over the last few months is still a few hundred people more than were reading it while it just sat gathering digital dust on my hard drive.

As I've been working on my latest fan fiction project, “Xena: Warrior Princess – Crossroads,” it occurred to me, this is another audience for me to try and reach with what I understand the path of Jesus Christ to be. More to the point, it's an audience that probably wouldn't bother reading my blog, or anyone else's for that matter if it's openly theological or spiritual. But they do like reading about The Legend of Zelda, or Xena, or Star Trek, or a number of the same TV shows, movies, and video game stories I've been using as spiritual illustrations for years now. No, I can't be blatant about it, but I can sneak in ideas and concepts here and there.

My latest project is a little more blatantly Christian than normal, although it will still probably have my more conservative brothers and sisters screaming at me. That's okay. Because in the last week since I began posting chapters, it's been getting an average of ten views a day from around the world. That's at least ninety people now that I've had a chance to introduce Jesus and what He taught to in a non threatening way.

So maybe I still am rambling just as much as I used to. It's just that these days my rambles have a lot more heros, villains, and dragons to slay in them.