About Having to Prove Myself

I have a confession to make. I was arguing with people from my past in my head today. It's not the first time I've done this, and it probably won't be the last. In reality, I know I'm just really arguing with myself, and specifically the person I was when I knew and interacted with those people. Those people I argue with in my head are really a psychological metaphor for who I used to be. I'm hoping I'm not the only one who does this, otherwise my sanity may be in question. In particular, I was arguing with them, as I often do, about where I am spiritually, and the truths I now accept. And I argue with them feeling like I have to prove myself to them in some vain attempt to be accepted by them. The truth of the matter of course is that it is a vain attempt. Those people I argue with in my head didn't really accept me to begin with, no matter how hard I tried to conform myself to their expectations.
     And this I had a kind of epiphany. Of course it shouldn't have been an epiphany, but today it was. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Not to those people who exist in my head. Not to who I used to be. And not to anyone today who may echo their sentiments. While I will always look at the evidence and facts, while I will always look at the data, I have no real need to prove anything to anyone.
     "Why?" One might ask.
     Because if what I say is merely my opinion, than that's about as much as it is worth. It can be taken or left, argued with, accepted or rejected as much as it might be worth. Because it is just my opinion, and such things are really only smoke on the wind anyway.
     But if someone hears the voice of Jesus Christ in what I write or what I say, then He will speak to them and they will pay attention because it is Him and not me. If someone experiences Jesus Christ through me, then it has nothing to do with me trying to prove anything. The Spirit of Christ Himself will manifest and leave the person who hears or reads profoundly impacted to where they cannot ignore it.
      I have nothing to prove because it's not about me, my opinions, or whether I am accepted or rejected by myself or anyone else. It is only about whether or not it is the Spirit of Christ speaking through me, and His voice will always carry weight and power behind it, and no one who hears His voice will leave unaffected. The only thing I have to do is leave myself open to Him speaking and acting through me, and not argue with it or take back control.
      As I ruminated on this, it occurred to me that this is what Paul meant when he wrote to the Corinthians about coming to them and ascertaining the power of those disturbing them. When Paul first came to them, He says he knew nothing among them but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, and that his message was not preached with human wisdom, but with the Spirit and with power. When Paul spoke, he knew it had to be with the voice of Christ and not his own ideas, opinions, or rhetoric, because it was the Spirit of Christ speaking through him that carried power in His words. It wasn't Paul's own great arguments or evidence.
      So, attempting to prove myself to anyone is really a fruitless and pointless endeavor, especially to ghosts from my past who wouldn't accept me anyway. As long as someone hears the voice of Christ in what I say or what I write, then that is enough, because that is all that really matters.