A Ramble About Fear

"Fear is the mind killer." In many respects this is true. Fear drives just about every "sinful" response we have. If you think about it, Gluttony initially arises from a fear of not having enough food. Avarice arises from a fear of not having enough resources. Self-esteem arises from a fear of not being enough. I worry about what will happen tomorrow, because I fear tomorrow. I worry about what happened yesterday, because I fear the repercussions from yesterday's events.



As I look into my own heart and mind, and I look the prime motivation of my own selfishness and self-centeredness, all I can see is fear. Am I good enough? Do I have enough? What's going to happen tomorrow? Is there something there waiting to hurt me in the darkness?



Perfect love casts out all fear, and God is perfect love. We fear when we cannot see our environment around us. We fear when there is an unknown over which we have no power. God sees all which is unknown to us. There is nothing over which He has no power.



All temptations to react and respond selfishly are essentially self-defensive reflexes. I must obtain this. I want this. I'm going to become angry because I don't have it. I'm going to kill in order to obtain it because I need it somehow. These are the responses of a person who is insecure about his own being. These are the responses of a person who does not believe that his needs will be met and so therefore must harm another to meet his own needs. These are the responses of a person who is walking in a room with no light, who is scared, and who is disoriented about where he can and can't go in the room. Reaching out he might feel the back of a chair. Triumphantly he grabs the chair and holds on to it for dear life because it gives him an anchor and a bearing point. But in order to move from one end of the room to the other, he must be able to let go of the chair which he can feel and continue once more in the darkness.



All people walk in this pitch black room trying to move from one end of life to the other, constantly bumping into things. It's terrifying until you learn that the furniture in the room never changes position. The walls of the room are always where they were before. You cannot see what is ahead of you or behind you or around you, but you come to learn that it is always there whether you can see it or not. You adapt to trusting in this fact of navigating this dark room, or you refuse to adapt and become lost, confused, and frightened; taking things from anyone else in the room you might meet who is weaker than you because of your fear.



God is always present, whether we can see Him or not. He loves us and always has our best interests at heart. He is the unmoving room which we move through in our journey. If we take the time to get to know Him and to follow His path which is laid out for us, then we can stop and realize that He has not moved or changed. And if we know that He has not moved or changed, then knowing Him, we can begin to navigate the room without fear because we know we can trust Him.



If I get angry, its because somewhere inside I am afraid of losing something, even if it is only control of a situation. If I stop and look at my fear, and realize that I am afraid, I can see that I am not really trusting God. I am not really anchored in Him. But this realization must move deeper than surface things. We must begin to trust God that He knows what is best when He permits the situation around us to become hostile and harmful. We must begin to trust Him when we have no food to eat, or no money to feel secure with. We start with trusting Him with small things, but must continue until nothing can cause us to fear because His perfect love has thrown fear out completely regardless of the hardship we face.



As I stop and consider all the thoughts and voices in my mind screaming for my attention, swirling around like a storm demanding that I pay attention and be afraid because I do not possess something to make me feel secure, I see also the One who is still and unmoving and quiet, whom the storms of fear cannot move or touch. He asks only that I trust Him, regardless of the physical outcome. It is this ultimate trust which grants peace, and not seeking to quell the storms myself. Who can calm a cyclone by feeding it debris? You must wait in the storm shelter patiently until it passes, and trust that the shelter is strong enough to withstand it. Otherwise, the more debris you feed it, the more damage the cyclone will do.



Between trust and fear, where one is the other is not nor can it be. It is best to trust in God, and let Him cast out fear. Only then will the storms subside and the cyclone pass.