A Ramble about Dreams

Lately, I've been having dreams that are really hard to come out of. I suppose it's normal for everyone to experience this at one point in time or another. The dream remains the reality for a short period of time after "waking up".

During this period of time, I can remember almost everything which happened in the dream as though it had happened in reality yesterday, but as the waking moment goes on, it gets lost as reality takes over my senses.

One observation I've made is that the "I" which I experience in the dream, is never the same "I" which I experience in reality. His memories are different, his experiences are different, and who he is as a person is often different. His reality is made up of pieces of the same experiences which make up mine, but arranged in a completely different way. I do things in my dreams which I would never do in my waking state. Things which disturb and at times horrify me. But it is "me" doing them. It is not the "me" I and others are most familiar with, it is a different combination of "me", but it is "me" nonetheless. These disturbing things are a different combination of the elements which combine to form "I". In another reality, maybe in another time and place, the "I" I am most familiar with would be the one in a particular dream, and the "I" I am now would be the discrepancy.

This makes me think about the truth that the "I" which I know and the "I" which I dream are only composites of my experiences arranged in different ways. Somehow, I am self-aware in both states, and I am capable of decision making in both states even though the factors I use to make those decisions are composited differently. Even though the other "I" may be a stranger as far as experiences yet I know that I am one and the same with him.

This leads me to the conclusion that whether or not I maintain the same experiences and decisions there is some kind of a "mind" which maintains my self-awareness as distinct from all others independent of the experiences and memories, or the pieces thereof, which composite the person who "I" am that I am most familiar with. In reality, I recognize that I am married and have children, and I know who that person is to whom I am married. When I am dreaming, I do not always remember this fact, or if I do, the person to whom I am married can change, yet I perceive no discrepancy, or error in the change. When I wake, I often feel guilty about this, even though there was nothing abnormal perceived in the dream.

I have spoken before of the "I and Thou" distinction between God and myself (or any other created being for that matter) and how eventually this is what we will face without the memories and experiences and possessions with which we identify ourselves. In the dream, this distinction is preserved, even if the "I" is totally different. It is therefore this "mind" which must be converted to the acceptance and recognition of God, apart from everything else with which I identify myself.

I will explore the ramifications of this truth at a later time...