I'm going to pick up my car today from the mechanic. I dropped it off a week ago because one of the "idiot lights" that we couldn't ignore came on after the trip to the Renaissance Faire in Ohio. It turned out that the idiot light was telling me that the catalytic converter was going to need to be replaced, and the shop quoted me over $1100 to do it. Okay, fine. The money was there. It would hurt, but we could limp along. Then, come Monday when we were supposed to pick it up, I'm told by the mechanic that one of the oxygen sensors is bad, and it's going to cost another $400.
Ouch. I mean really, ouch. Is the money there? Yes, but it's going to hurt a lot more. A lot more. I needed to sit down after that and process through it.
It's altogether too easy to be triggered by fear of not having enough. You'd think by now this would be old hat to me, but still, the fear of lack rose up.
If I am in union with God through union with Jesus Christ, then I have access to everything in His possession to meet my needs. If I am submitted to and cooperating with the Spirit of Christ, then all I need do is ask the Father for anything I need and He will do it. Even more so, He knows what I need before I need it. The truth is that for right now, in this moment, I have everything I need. To suggest that I lack something I need is actually preposterous, as like the child of the multibillionaire, all I need do is ask and the resources are limitless. It makes no sense to complain of lack when you are literally surrounded by wealth. It makes no sense to cling to the oh so few digits in a bank account when your Parent owns not just the bank but all of creation. Because I am one with Jesus Christ, I am one with the Father. And if I am one with the Father then everything which belongs to Him becomes my inheritance as well, which is literally everything which exists.
And yet there I was, worried and fearful of not having enough because of a $1500 bill which after today will be nothing but a memory in the rearview mirror because I already have it. Worried and fearful because of a lack which didn't exist.
Our brains are hardwired with an overactive fear response that activates, not just on existing physical threats like it's supposed to, but on imaginary ones and even threats which have long been resolved. We even derive our very self-identities based on what our brains believe is either a survival necessity or a survival threat. What we're afraid of losing, or what we're afraid of happening. Instead of staying in this moment, right here and right now, the brain's thoughts are preoccupied with either what did happen or what could happen as it continues to overassess potential threats or needs.
And when we engage with that malfunctioning survival system, we disengage from the submission to and cooperation with the Spirit of Christ. We blind ourselves to our infinitely wealthy Parent who has said, "If you make your home in Me, and what I said makes its home within you, you will ask what you want and it will happen for you." And who also said, "Don't worry about what you will eat, what you will drink, or what you will wear, because your Heavenly Father knows everything you need before you ask Him. ... Only look for the Kingdom of God and His right state of Being first then all of these things will be added to you." Look for the Kingdom of God first, that is, be in submission to and cooperation with the Spirit of Christ first, and then your Father's bank account, the wealth of the infinite multiverse, is available to meet your needs.
This $1500 has been another examination for me, a test that is neither pass nor fail, but only meant to demonstrate where I'm at in this moment. It has been instructive to see where I'm at and how far I have to go.
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