To God Alone Have I Been Cruel or Kind

"Against You, You alone, have I sinned."

     I was using Psalm 51 this morning for my confessional prayer. At the top of the page in my English Bible (a NABRE, my Hebrew is atrocious), I have these words written in their original Hebrew. "L'kha L'vadkha hkata'tiy." It is a deep and profound truth that all harm we do, whether we intend it or not, is harm against God. When we hurt someone else, we hurt God. When we injure another human being, when we're cruel to an animal, when we act with aggression, fear, or selfishness we're causing injury to God Himself, and as David said, to God alone. What is also profound is the word here used is "hkata'," to miss one's target, to err, or to make a mistake. All such mistakes are errors which negatively impact God, no matter how well intentioned it was to begin with. This is why also that to love one's neighbor as oneself is also to love God, and in loving God with all of our heart, soul, strength, and mind we will love the person next to us as ourselves. What injury or kindness we do to others, what injury or kindness we do to ourselves even, God takes as being done to Him.
     Another related thought, in every case where a Life Review is recalled from a near death experience, it is always viewed through the eyes and experiences of those being affected by you, either kindly or unkindly. Before I learned this, I came to understand that God could and did experience everything which we experience through our own eyes, ears, and senses as He forms the very foundation of our existence, as the air forms the medium through which the sound is able to exist and move.
     Treat every person you interact with, including yourself, as if it were God Himself, because in the end, that's exactly who will be on the receiving end of your kindness or cruelty. The only interaction, the only relationship which fundamentally matters is our interaction and relationship with God. It could literally be seen as just God and I, and how I treat the other person is really how I'm treating God. Were we to keep this mindset, this understanding, that there is only God and I (and removing the ego, just God with whom we interact internally), then either we would show our true colors by plunging ourselves into the darkness of rejection, or we would be fulfilling the greatest commandments to Love God, love one another, love our neighbors, and love our enemies instinctively as we choose to be either cruel or kind to God Himself.
     The mistake which many make when engaging with the idea that God is the underlying foundation, the medium through which all creation vibrates and moves, is when they then call themselves God. This is the important point of understanding which people, either for or against this idea, miss entirely. My very existence relies on God's existence in order to be, but "I," that is, my ego or "self," is not God. "I," am the aggregate or amalgam of my experiences, biology, and choices. "I" am essentially code, like computer code. "I" am an idea brought to life by patterns of vibrations and wavelengths. "I" am constantly changing, moving, evolving from one person to the next with each moment and am never the same "I" twice. Does this "ego" exist? Only as an idea, lines of code which are constantly being written and rewritten. Smoke dancing on the wind. This "ego," this "self" is not God, nor ever will be. The sound is not the air through which it moves, yet the sound must have the air in order to be heard. When I speak of there only really being God and I, and once the ego is removed, only God, it is to this understanding that I am referring.
     Once this concept is grasped, it does not engender pride, egomania, or any other such thing. The person who truly grasps this understanding will find himself or herself thoroughly humbled when they realize that they genuinely own nothing, are merely an idea at best, and owe their very ongoing existence, form, and substance to God's own existence. Pride cannot thrive in such a person. The person who understands this would not dare say "I" am God, because they would understand the ludicrous nature of the statement. Yet the person who understands the concept would understand that the very foundation of their being is God, and thus the very foundation of their being is also love, because God is love. Pride cannot survive this infinite ocean, but dissolves in it.