1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Malachi 2:16, , and Matthew 19:4-9 are passages in Scripture which are frequently misinterpreted and used to keep Christian women within marriages that are abusive. But the context of these verses, and the actual intention behind what was said was very, very different.
Malachi 2:16 reads, “For I hate divorce”, says Yahweh, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence!” says Yahweh of Armies.” (WEB)
Matthew 19:4-9 reads, “He answered, “Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” They asked him, “Why then did Moses command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” (WEB)
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 reads, “ But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.” (WEB)
Under the ancient Jewish law, a woman could not initiate a divorce; only the husband could. And once he divorced her, she was on her own. If she was lucky, her parents were still alive and they could take her in. If she wasn’t, then her options were bleak. Either she remarried, or she found some other way to support and protect herself, and the options were not plentiful. Prostitution wasn’t out of the question if the woman was desperate enough to survive. A husband divorcing his wife in ancient Jewish society, especially if they were older, would be condemning her to shame, disgrace, destitution, and desperation. As Paul states at the beginning of Romans 7, a woman is bound by the Torah to her husband for as long as he is alive.
With this understanding, let’s look at the entire passage in Malachi 2:13-16:
“This again you do: you cover the altar of Yahweh with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, because he doesn’t regard the offering any more, neither receives it with good will at your hand. Yet you say, ‘Why?’ Because Yahweh has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant. Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For I hate divorce”, says Yahweh, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence!” says Yahweh of Armies. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you don’t deal treacherously.” (WEB)
The context of what God is saying through the prophet Malachi here makes the meaning of His words plain. All throughout the Scripture, God is adamant about not mistreating those who are disadvantaged or who cannot protect themselves. Most of the time this is about widows and orphans, but there are sections in the Torah about treating immigrants and foreigners well too. And here, God is making it clear that putting the woman who trusted you to care for, protect, and provide for her out on the street with nothing makes Him very, very angry to where He won’t even listen to your own pleas for help, because you wouldn’t listen to hers. Of course God hates this kind of divorce. This is the man who’s been married for years, has kids, is the only breadwinner in the family, and then throws his wife and kids under the bus and out of his life because he finds someone younger and more attractive.
This is the same context in the passage in Matthew 19, where Jesus is making it clear that God still hates men dealing treacherously with the wives of their youth, and He considers it adultery when the man remarries, which of course, under the Torah, was punishable by death. Furthermore, the selfish, abusive husband is putting the woman into the position of being forced to commit adultery just to survive. This was the situation with the Samaritan woman at the well near Suchar. She had five husbands, not because she wanted to go through that, but because she had no choice. Chances are, she was barren and couldn’t give her husbands children so they threw her away. After the fifth one, she probably had no choice but to become someone’s mistress because no one else would marry her. These were the realities of women’s options in that society.
God said this through Malachi, and Jesus said these things in order to protect women from abuse, not trap them in abusive marriages.
The verse in 1 Corinthians 7 has an entirely different context. Corinth was a Roman city both culturally and legally. Not Greek, but actually Roman even though it was located in Greece. The original Greek city of Corinth had been razed by the Roman legions a little over a hundred years prior and rebuilt as a Roman colony. It was possible for women to initiate divorce under Roman law, though they had fewer rights than men and fewer legal protections unless they were married or still under their fathers. If a woman was in an abusive relationship, she could in fact initiate a divorce and return home to her father, or in some cases, start her own business, and own her own property. But the text in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians actually has nothing to do with that.
Let’s look at the whole passage leading up to it 7:1-11:
“Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife. Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. Yet I wish that all men were like me. However each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn. But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.” (WEB)
The problem which Paul was trying to address here is one which most of us in twenty-first century Christianity can’t even fathom. It was a common practice in the ancient Church (as written about by the Pre-Nicene Church Fathers), in the first couple of centuries of the Church’s existence, for disciples of Jesus Christ to choose total celibacy, denying their own sexual desires in order to pursue Jesus Christ free from those constraints. It was not required by any means, but it was common. And it was also a thing for married couples who were both disciples to live together chaste or celibate as well for the same reason.
What Paul is addressing here is a married couple divorcing one another so that each could be completely free of their attachments to one another in order to focus totally on Jesus Christ. Paul is here giving the command, “Don’t do that.” It’s one thing for a single person to remain single and celibate, such as himself, it’s another thing entirely for a couple which is already married to separate from one another and live like Paul did.
It was never God’s intention that His words be used to shame or guilt women into staying in harmful, toxic, or abusive marriages. These were written within specific cultural contexts to specific people addressing specific issues. God’s modus operandi within the Scriptures is always the protection and care for those who are the most vulnerable in society, and He addresses it repeatedly within them.
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