God does nothing small. Not when He
sets out to glorify Himself, make Himself known, or set His seal on
something. He makes it absolutely certain that it is Him, only Him,
and that it is impossible for anyone else. I realized this today. My
prayers went unanswered, not because they were too big, or because
the general outcome wasn't what God wanted, but because my thinking
and my prayers were too limited in scope.
My family's RV was towed back to an
auto shop yesterday for the mechanics to begin work on it after we
broke down in Kingman over two weeks ago. For the last two weeks, God
has provided for us, and opened doors for us that we hadn't even
realized existed when we set out two weeks ago. We set out to get
training, experience, ideas, and advice for the disabled children's
ranch we had dreamed of starting. God let us know it was time to get
to work on it, and so by faith we followed where He led. After we
broke down and were given what seemed to be horrible news on the
state of our RV's engine, He led us to Kingman Christian Church
(KCC), where we met some amazing, godly people.
We met people such as Pastor Brian Van
Dyke, who very obviously lives what he preaches, and who allowed us
to park our non-functional RV in the church parking lot and provided
power and water hookups, and even a sewer drain for our waste-water
tanks. We met people like Dotty and Bruce Bollinger who themselves
run a tiny, four acre ranch and run a ministry teaching disabled kids
to ride horses on nothing but Bruce's full time job and God's grace.
The Bollingers brought us out to their ranch where we helped out with
chores, and they let us do our laundry, and the kids were able to do
a little riding. We also met people like Lottie and Anna, who own and
run the H.A.L.T. animal rescue on nothing but faith and individual
donations, and the volunteers who regularly help out there, through
whom God provided by their allowing us to borrow their vehicles not
knowing that we would need a separate vehicle until after they let us
borrow them on two separate occasions. And through all of these
encounters God helped us really begin to nail down the plan and
logistics of the ministry we have set out to begin.
And now, it is time for us to be moving
on in our journey, but to do this we must first repair the RV. After
being told the engine block itself would need to be replaced at the
first auto shop, we were towed to KCC. After that, we were told by
four separate mechanics that it was the head gaskets, and the engine
block was probably fine.
Today, after the mechanic was able to
pull the heads off he showed me the reality of the situation, which
the first mechanics hadn't done. There were scratches inside the
block from where the O-rings had broken. He also showed me where two
of the pistons had begun to melt.
I had been praying all of yesterday,
and all of this morning that the repairs would be a lot less
expensive than we were quoted (originally $8000, then $1500) because
we only had a little over $700. I had been praying that God would
make the situation manageable for my meager resources. God said no.
It was in fact the engine block that would need to be replaced.
Then God did something else, the owner
of the shop did a full estimate on sourcing a used engine block, and
all of the work needed to get us back on the road. He found a block
ready to go, and gave me the new estimate, $3500. Much less than the
original, but still way beyond my means. After admitting this to the
owner, Rigo Torres, he said, “Well, how much do you have right
now?” I told him. He then said, “How much of a deposit can you
put down?” After doing some quick and optimistic figuring on how
much we would need for food and living expenses in the RV, I said
“$600.” He then told me to go ahead come down to the office, fill
out some paperwork, put down the $600 and they would get started on
the work, and we could get him the rest of it as we got it in. He
said, “We need to get you guys back on the road. That's my priority
right now.”
God doesn't do prayers when they're
focused on my meager abilities. “God, please make this mountain
smaller so I can move it myself. Pretty please?” God doesn't do
that. He is the One who moves mountains, minds, and hearts. Not me.
He is God Almighty, All-Sovereign, and omnipotent through whom the
entire created multiverse exists, moves, and has its being. When He
acts, it is not to bring things down to my level, but to make it
clear in no uncertain terms that He is the one acting, and He is the
only One who is able to do it.
As my wife and I sat down to actually
start drawing out plans for our mission, I also am coming to realize
that either God brings it about, or it doesn't happen. What we are
envisioning is huge. Almost a small town on eighty-one acres. And as
I relate it back our broken down RV, either God is behind us and
behind our mission, or He isn't. If we can't trust Him for something
as small as $3500 (and I've seen Him do twice that in a single day,
long story), then there's no way the mission will be built. Either
He's behind us and we move on from here, or He's not, and we're
stopped right here in our tracks. But there's no middle ground.
There's no compromise. There's no, “bring this down to my level so
I can do it myself.” There's only, “I AM God Almighty, walk
before Me in fear and trembling. I AM and there is none like Me. I
work, and who can reverse it? I move mountains. I calm the seas. I do
this so you and everyone will see My wonders and know that I AM, and
that I AM the one who moves you.”
I paid the $600 deposit. $2900 to go.
At this point, all I can do is stand back, let people know what's
happening, and wait to see God's wonders.
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