A Ramble about the Games We Play

Whenever my kids aren't doing school, or the chores I give them, or watching a movie with my wife and I, they're playing games of some kind. Either on the computers, or, barring that, with each other somewhere around the house or outside.

They make up a storyline and rules to the game and then start playing. During the process of the game, one of them makes up new rules and expects the other two to play by them. They then argue about the fairness of it, and, depending on how the argument turns out, they either adopt the new rules or break apart, leaving at least one upset that no one wants to play with them.

I have often been called in to adjudicate their games. I still don't understand why, because they never tell me all their rules to begin with. Their “rules” are constantly shifting and never set in stone. The one that makes up the rules first usually does so to gain some kind of an advantage over the other two. The other two usually recognize it and resent it. I began taking the position some time ago that they have to work it out on their own. This works on occasion. Where I do step in is when they start getting so angry with each other that they start slamming doors, and, worst case scenario, they start to become violent with each other. I count myself fortunate that this is rare.

Their games are important to them when they're playing them. They're so important that feelings get hurt, yelling matches occur, and doors get slammed. They can become very upset that one of them might not be friends anymore with the other because of a dispute during a game. They mean so much to my kids because my kids give them meaning. More often then not, everything is resolved at least by the next day as that same game no longer has any meaning for them. What caused arguments, broken relationships, yelling, and door slamming is little more than a memory.

It's the same with my kids' toys. I remember a certain little car which one of them found during a major cleanup of the downstairs. Immediately, another one claimed ownership of that car, stating that it had been a birthday present several years ago. The one who found it also claimed finder's rights. In that moment, that car, which neither had seen nor cared about for a very long time, became somehow the most precious possession either of them could have. They accused each other of lying. Tears flowed. Feelings were hurt. Finally I had to take possession of the little car until I could work out who it really belonged to. I finally granted ownership to one of them. The next day, I found that car lying on the floor somewhere out of the way, barely noticed and forgotten.

Human beings play games that have no more meaning to them than what we give them. We argue, we fight, as adults we even go to war and kill over these games. We hold certain toys as being most precious when someone else wants them, and then forget about them when everyone else does.

Think about it. Corporations, for example, are basically a big game. They have no meaning to them except what meaning we give them. In reality, they are groups of people working together playing a game by rules that are constantly being changed by a very few to give those very few an advantage over the others. Governments, and other organizations are the same way.

Money is another game we play. In reality, most of the world's money has no intrinsic value of it's own. It's basically a bunch of numbers on a ledger, or stored in a computer. It's printed paper, or worthless coins. The only reason why it has any value is because we as a society give it that value and meaning. If we were to stop doing so, then it would be as valueless as the dirt we walk on.

It is the same with things like numbers and mathematics themselves. We all grow up with a base ten number system, and yet this isn't the only way to count or do math. Furthermore, numbers and mathematics are basically a big game. They're a way to see the world around us and quantify it, but are in reality themselves abstract concepts that don't actually exist.

God exists. Human beings exist. Animals exist. The earth underneath us, and the sky above us exist. These will exist even as businesses, corporations, rules, laws, and governments rise and then fall. Such things like laws, rules, corporations, etc. have only as much meaning as we give them. They are games we play for the moment. At first, we all agree on the rules, and then midway through someone tries to change the rules to their favor. Either everyone playing gets upset, or they all work it out. But, in any case, they are no less games than the ones my children play. It is a part of our inherent delusion and disorder that we assign so much meaning to them as to fight so violently over them.

Ownership is a ridiculous concept, as I have written before. It is a product of our own delusional minds to believe we can actually “own” anything. That little toy car will still be there whether or not any of my kids claim ownership. The land under our feet doesn't care who claims ownership over it, it has and will continue to outlast all of them. That we want to “own” anything is a part of the disorder and is born from fear of not having something that we think we need.

It is the lesson of history that all games and all ownerships eventually end. Buildings and land lie disused. Implements of war and peace lie broken and forgotten in fields. Heated arguments which launch thousands of troops become subjects for academics to study. Governments fall. Businesses and corporations eventually come to an end and go out of business. Even languages and mathematical systems change and die out. Much like my children, those who were sworn enemies one generation can be the best of friends the next. The object of a nation's hopes and desires one generation can lay neglected and forgotten the next.

So then, what is important if not the games we play? As I tell my children, the most important thing is in how they treat each other. If you don't want your brother or sister treating you that way, don't do it to them. My kids are slowly but surely getting the point. I have to step in less and less. I wish I could say the same about the rest of us.