A Ramble About Being "In" the World But Not "Of" the World

I've done a lot of talking about what I think Christianity isn't, but I haven't said a whole lot on the subject of what it actually looks like in practice. I go back and look at the spiritual masters of the Church, but most of them were monks, either living in communities or solitary, and, as my wife points out, most of them were men which makes it tough for women to relate to what they're saying. My wife and I talk a lot about this, but the discussion never seems to end with any finality. Most of the discussion centers around this passage found in 1 John 2:15-17:

"Don’t love the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, isn’t the Father’s, but is the world’s. The world is passing away with its lusts, but he who does God’s will remains forever." (WEB)

A lot of what the earlier saints wrote about was freeing yourself from any and all attachments and distractions which would impede your relationship with God. Those monks out in the desert literally gave away everything they had, ate only what the body needed to live, broke off most if not all of their family relationships, and spent large amounts of time in prayer and meditation when they weren't busying themselves with working just enough to be able to feed themselves or give their wages away.

For one's spiritual health these are probably the ideal conditions of living because they discipline the body, and encourage the person to devote their attention solely to God. Today, often churches will hold retreats which often resemble miniature weekend monasteries which involve few possessions brought of one's own, personal prayer times, and intense communal sessions devoted to prayer and worship. The outside world is shut out so that one can focus on the Lord free of distractions. But then what happens when one must return to "the real world"?

"The Real World" is full of possessions, movies, music, television programs, books, and relationships with people. In the real world you are constantly bombarded with things which demand your attention and take it away from God so that the most important relationship professed in your life only gets five to ten minutes a day at best. In "the real world" you have to own several sets of clothing. In "the real world" you have to bring in at least a few thousand a month just to be able to eat, have shelter, and be "normal". And in order to reach out to other people in "the real world", you have to be able to relate to them somehow.

Yes, it is possible to pitch the dvds, books, tv, etc. Yes, it is possible to give away all but the most basic of clothing. Yes, it is theoretically possible to live in this day and age completely isolated from the rest of the world. Some people do. But what about those obligations like spouses, and children, and people you care about and who depend on you, and what about our obligation to "disciple the nations"? How do we do this in isolation?

I have thrown away my books before (believe it or not). It seems I always acquire new ones. I have given away all of my clothes except for my clerics before. I seem to acquire more of those too. We got rid of most of our furniture and belongings in order to follow where the Lord leads, and both times we received more "stuff" again. What do you do when it doesn't seem like you can even get rid of the "stuff"?

I don't have all the answers, I wish I did. I have a funny feeling that this may look similar yet different for everybody as God works with everyone a little differently, personalizing His treatment plan for each of us, so to speak.

There are a few things however which I think we can learn from those monks out in the desert and apply to our lives having to live in the middle of the world. The first follows from the passage I quoted above, and they centered in on these three things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. These are labeled in the writings of those spiritual fathers as gluttony, avarice or greed, and self-esteem.

In short, they write that these three demons (as they call them) are the forward assault for all other demons to come in and wreak havoc with us. They fasted and ate only what the body needed in order to keep the body under control and thus keep gluttony at bay. They gave away everything they had and refused to acquire anything more as their own property in order to control their desire to own anything. Self-Esteem was the hardest one to keep at bay because it could creep up even, and some times especially, when a person was fasting and praying, and could only be combated with tears and the remembrance of our own sins, and the certainty of death.

To allow any of these free reign opens the door to a downward spiritual spiral. Gluttony, for example, may seem rather benign, but by allowing our body's appetite for food control us, instead of us controlling it, we then set the precedent for ourselves to obey what the body wants to satisfy it, and this in turn opens the door for other things like misplaced sexual desires, for example. Simply wanting, for example, a new dress or a nice pair of shoes seems pretty benign if it doesn't hurt anyone and you can afford it. But it can again open the door to justifying having still more. Self-Esteem is often preached from the roof-tops and from the pulpits, but the truth is that Jesus taught that we are to crucify ourselves for His sake, and it doesn't take much before we start believing that we "deserve better".

The second thing is how we approach our relationships with other people. Jesus taught that if we loved anyone, and I mean anyone, more than Him, we were not worthy of the Kingdom of God. Does this mean that we don't care about anyone else? Far from it, but what it does mean is that we have to be aware of our own attachments to other people. Do I depend on my relationship with this person to be happy? Does my self worth depend on how this person sees me? Do I have an attachment to this person which will interfere with my relationship with God? Am I spending more time being aware of my relationship with this person (positively or negatively) than I am being aware of my relationship with God? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, we need to reevaluate that relationship. All of our relationships with other people must be viewed through our relationship with God, and not vice versa. For example, I love my wife and children dearly. But I also know that there will come a time when we will all have to say our good byes and those relationships will end in this life, one way or the other. The loss of those relationships should never be able to damage my relationship with Him. My relationship with God will continue permanently. Just as I must place my relationship with my family as more important than my relationships with co-workers, so must I also place my relationship with God as more important that those with the members of my family.

The third thing I want to address is simply spending time with God and focusing on Him. No relationship can develop unless the two or more parties spend time with each other and get to know each other. The more time spent, the better the two know each other. The less time spent, the less of a chance the relationship has. Be aware of your choices on how you spend your time in this matter.

Finally, we must simply be aware of the choices we make and the consequences thereof. We must always keep in mind that we were born naked, and we will die with less than that. And when we die, we will have only our relationship with God, or lack thereof. Everything else in this life is either a hindrance to that relationship, or a help depending on how it's used. If you can live in this world with possessions, family, friends, etc. and be free from distractions and attachments which impede your relationship with God, more power to you. If you need to give everything away and live as a hermit in the desert in order to draw closer to Him, then do it. Most of us will probably fall somewhere in between, but we need to be aware of when we believe we can't do without something of this world, or if it seems more important than Him. That's the time to give it up completely.