By Fighting At All, The Jedi Lost

 "By fighting at all, the Jedi lost." So reads the novelization of "The Revenge of the Sith" by Matthew Stover as he describes Order 66, the Clone Wars, and how it was all set up as a perfect trap to weaken, blind, and then destroy the Jedi.

     These words, I think perfectly summarize the struggle within me that I've been trying to put words to all day. As Yoda taught, "Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to Suffering." Unless one is exceptionally disciplined, fighting is born from aggression which is born from anger which is ultimately born within the human brain as a response to a perceived threat, that is, from being afraid that something undesirable might happen, or something desirable might not happen. By acting on fear or anger, one acts from the flesh, that is, from the dysfunctional human amygdala which is the gatekeeper to the hypothalamus which governs the fear/aggression/feeding/sexual responses. By allowing your fear or anger to dictate your decisions, your flesh is firmly in control, even if you have the best of intentions. And if your flesh is in control, you lose. It doesn't matter if you want to save everyone, bring justice to the world, and restore the balance. If you are functioning purely from your own brain's wiring, you lose because it cannot help but go sideways and cause harm. It does not mean to, but it will because it is not working the way it was intended to work.

     As it was for the Jedi, so it is for the disciple of Jesus Christ. To act, speak, or make decisions from fear is to enslave yourself to the flesh, and not the spirit. It is your own malfunctioning brain in control, even if you're trying to serve the truth, compassion, and empathy. If your fear or anger, however righteous, is in control, then the spirit will not be. If your fear or anger is dictating what you do and say, then Jesus Christ will not be. 

     I have been ruminating on this long and hard today, looking at my responses and reactions where what is happening to my country is concerned. Am I responding to a threat, or are my responses born from love? Are my responses from fear or anger, or are they from the spirit? Is it the Logos being channeled through me, or am I responding to a perceived threat through the lens of my human malfunction? And if I am responding from fear, then I need to stop where I am, take a step back, and focus on remaining in Him once more, making my home in Him. Building my house upon the bedrock, above where the flash floods rage across the sand of the wadi and destroying everything in their path. 

     I need to focus on the reality that this person, this life is not home. It is an avatar in a very complex RPG that will one day expire, and I will move on. All of these things that are happening are meant to trigger our malfunctioning human threat responses and enslave us once more to the flesh and hold us there. And I am all too easily triggered. 

     There have been many regimes like the one now in control of the executive branch of the United States. It is disillusioning that it is now happening here, and that is psychologically threatening. If I allow that perceived threat to trigger the fear response, then I willfully surrender myself to that domino chain as I become enslaved to fear, anger, hatred, and being the cause of my own suffering. As as I am overwhelmed by the raging flood which all of this becomes, I am of no use to anyone. In order to extend a hand, drop a lifeline, or rescue anyone from it, I have to be up high on the bedrock and out of the torrent first. This means being mindful of my own triggers and fear responses and not engaging with them. This means surrendering to the spirit, to love, joy, peace, patience, trust, compassion, and so on. This means turning away from the dysfunctional human amygdala and training my own threat responses to stand down. This means asking the Spirit of Christ, asking Jesus Christ, to act and speak through me, to love all others through me, and to help me disengage from my flesh's responses. 

     The only thing I genuinely have control over, the only thing that is genuinely up to me is how I respond to anything. My own choices. It does no good to be swept away by the current of fear and anger. I can help no one if I myself am in need of rescue. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ means unlearning everything with which I was trained since I was little, and retraining and redisciplining myself to live as He taught, and walk as He walked. 

     The auther of that novelization of Episode III was more right than he realized. Even Jesus Himself taught us to not return evil for evil, to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who hunt us, and pray for those who abuse us. By doing anything from fear or aggression, we instantly, instinctively engage in the opposite of what He taught, and cease to be His disciples. By fighting at all, we lose that which is most important.