On What Is And What Is Not Up To You

     One of the most basic principles of Stoicism is to let go of everything which is not up to you. To let go of everything outside of your control, and cease to fret about it because there's nothing you can do to change it. What does this include? Almost everything, really. What happens external to yourself in life is not up to you, and whatever originates outside of yourself is outside of your control. The weather? Not up to you. What your friends, family, or enemies do? Not up to you. What happens with your possessions? Not really up to you in the long run. Whether you live, fall ill, or die? Not actually up to you. Whether catastrophe strikes? Not up to you. According to Stoicism, the only thing which has been given to you which is up to you and within your control is how you respond to these things, the actions you decide to take, and the things you decide to say.

      Stemming from this also is another basic principle, that you are a slave of whatever can compel you to act, whether it be an employer, a possession, a friend, a romantic interest, or an idea. If you hold an attachment to someone or something where you fear the consequence of not doing what they want or not protecting it, then you are that person's or that thing's slave.

     Both Jesus and Paul said much the same thing in different ways. Jesus was explicit that no one could have two masters, and that in order to be His disciple, one had to drop or let go of just about everything that person was more attached to than to Him. Paul himself wrote that "you are a slave to whatever you obey, whether to hamartia leading to death, or to God leading to a right state of being."

     What are you trying to control that's not up to you? This is going to be the source of your suffering and frustration. Who or what can compel you to do their bidding? You are a slave to that person or thing. Look deeply at yourself and your life, and be mindful of both of these things. We cannot control who or what makes demands on us, but we can control how we respond to them. There is always a choice. Consequences will come with that choice, and we do not always have control over those consequences, but there is always a choice nonetheless.