The Sermon On The Mount: Matthew 5-7, revised

And having seen the crowds He ascended into the mountain, and with His having sat His disciples approached Him; and having opened His mouth He taught them saying,

“The destitute in pneuma are happy that the kingdom of the heavenly realms is theirs.

Those bewailing and mourning are happy that they will be encouraged.

The gentle are happy that they will inherit the land.

The people hungering and thirsting for a right state of being are happy that they will be well fed.

The merciful are happy that they will shown mercy.

The clean in heart are happy that they will see the God.

The peacemakers are happy that they will be addressed “sons of God.”

Those having been hunted because of a right state of being are happy that the kingdom of the heavenly realms is theirs.

You people are happy when they will reproach you and will hunt you and should say every single deranged thing about you because of Me. Rejoice and be overjoyed, because your compensation is a lot in the heavenly realms; because in this way they hunted the prophets who were prior to you.

You people are the salt of the land; yet if the salt becomes useless, with what will it be salted? It is still physically capable of nothing except it’s tossed outside to be trampled underneath these human beings. You are the light of the universe. A city lying atop a mountain can’t be hidden; neither do they burn a lamp and put it under the measuring basket but on the lamp stand, and it gleams to all those within the house. In this way let your light gleam in front of human beings, so that they would see your beautiful works and will glorify your Father who is in the heavenly realms.

Don’t assume that I came to tear down the Torah or the prophets completely; I didn’t come to tear it down completely but to make it full. Because amen I say to you, until the sky and the land would pass to the side, one yod or one horn would absolutely not pass to the side from the Torah at all, until everything would happen. Whoever then should undo one of the least of these commands and should teach in this way to human beings, he will be addressed least in the kingdom of the heavenly realms; yet whoever would do and teach them, this person will be addressed big in the kingdom of the heavenly realms. Because I say to you that if your right state of being doesn’t go beyond more than the right state of being of the scribes and the Pharisees, you will absolutely not enter into the kingdom of the heavenly realms at all.

You heard that it had been said to the ancients, ‘You will not murder;’ and whoever murders, he will be guilty for judgment. Yet I say to you that every single person who is provoked by his brother will be guilty for judgment; and whoever should say to his brother, ‘Airhead!’ will be guilty to the Sanhedrin; yet whoever should say, ‘Moron!’ will be guilty as far as the fiery Valley of Hinnom. If then you should offer your gift upon the sacrificial altar and there you are reminded that your brother holds something against you, let your gift go there in front of the sacrificial altar and go first to be reconciled to your brother, and, having come at that time, offer your gift. Be making friends with your opponent fast, up to when you are on the road [to court] with him, or else your opponent will hand you over to the judge and the judge to the officer and you will be thrown into the prison; amen I tell you, you won’t exit from there at all until soever you would repay the last quadrans¹.

You heard that it had been said, ‘Don’t commit adultery.’ Yet I say to you that every single person who looks at a woman in the direction of desiring her already committed adultery with her with his heart. Yet if your right eye trips you up, take it out and throw it from you; because it works out better for you that one of your body parts would be destroyed and your whole body wouldn’t be thrown into the Valley of Hinnom. And if your right hand trips you up, cut it off and throw it away from you; because it works out better for you so that one of your body parts would be destroyed and your whole body should not depart into the Valley of Hinnom.

Yet it had been said, ‘Whoever divorces his woman, let him give her a written notice of divorce.’ Yet I say to you that every single person who divorces his woman besides a reason of whoring makes her to commit adultery, and, having been divorced, whichever man that she should marry commits adultery.

Again you heard that it had been said to the ancients, “Don’t take a false oath, and repay your oaths to Yahweh.’ Yet I say to you to not take an oath at all; neither with the sky, because it is the God’s throne, nor with the land, because it is the footstool under His feet, nor as far as Hierosoluma, because it is the city of the great king, neither should you take an oath with your head, because you can’t make one hair white or black. Yet let your logos be yes yes, no no; and beyond these is from the derangement.

You heard that it had been said, ‘An eye in place of an eye and a tooth in place of a tooth.’ Yet I say to you to not stand against the deranged person; but anyone who hits you as far as your right cheek, turn to him also the other; and to the one wishing to take you to court and to take your shirt, let your coat go to him too; and anyone who presses you into service for one mile, go with him for two. Give to the person asking you, and don’t turn away the person wishing to be lent money from you.

You heard that it had been said, ‘You will care for and have compassion on the person next to you,’ and will hate your enemy. Yet I am saying to you, care for and have compassion on your enemies and pray for those hunting you, so that you would become sons of your Father who is in the heavenly realms, because His sun springs up upon the deranged and good, and brings rain upon the people who are right and the people who are wrong. Because if you should care for and have compassion on those having care and compassion for you, what compensation do you have? Don’t the tax collectors also do the self-same thing? And if you embrace just your brothers, what are you doing beyond anyone else? Don’t also the other people groups do the self-same things? You yourselves then be adults like your Heavenly Father is an adult.

“Devote yourselves to not perform your right state of being in front of human beings for the purpose of being viewed by them; and if you don’t at least do this, you don’t have compensation in the presence of your Father who is in the heavenly realms.

When you then should do a merciful thing, you shouldn’t blow trumpets in front of you, just like the pretenders do in the synagogues and in the narrow streets, so that they would be given reputation by human beings; amen I tell you, they are paid their compensation in full. Yet with your doing a merciful thing don’t let your left side recognize what your right side is doing, so that the merciful thing which you do would be in secret; and your Father who looks at the secret will repay you.

And when you should pray, don’t be like the pretenders, because they have affection for standing to pray in the synagogues and in the corners of broad streets, so that they might shine forth to human beings; amen I tell you, they are paid their wages in full. Yet when you should pray, enter into your storeroom and having closed the door with you praying to your Father who is within the secret place; and your Father who looks at the secret place will repay you. Yet praying, don’t stammer your words just like the other people groups, because they assume that with their wordiness they will be given heed to. You then don’t be the same as them; because your Father knows of what you have a need before your asking Him. You then are to pray in this way,

‘Our Father who is in the heavenly realms;

Let Your name be made holy;

Let Your kingdom come;

Let your will happen,

Like in the heavenly realm also upon the land;

Today, give bread to us sufficient for the coming day;

And let go of our debts for us like we also have let go for those who owe us;

and don’t bring us into temptation, but rescue us from the deranged one.

Because the kingdom and power and reputation are yours into the eons. Amen.”

Because if, for human beings, you should let go of their missteps, your Heavenly Father will also let go of them for you; yet if, for human beings, you shouldn’t let go of their missteps, neither will your Father let go of your missteps.

Yet when you fast, don’t become like the sullen pretenders, because they deface their faces so that they might shine forth fasting to human beings; amen I tell you, they are paid their compensation in full. Yet you fasting anoint your head with oil and wash your face, so that you won’t shine forth fasting to human beings, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who looks at the secret place will repay you.

Yet don’t hoard for yourselves treasures upon the land, where a moth and corrosion deface them and where thieves break through walls and steal them; yet hoard for yourselves treasures in the heavenly realm, where neither a moth nor corrosion deface them and where thieves don’t break through walls neither do they steal; because where your treasure exists, there will also be your heart.

The lamp of the body is the eye. If then there should be nothing wrong with your eye, then your entire body will be lit up; yet if your eye should be good for nothing, your entire body will be dark. If then the light which is within you is darkness, how vast is that darkness?

No one can be enslaved to two owners; because either he will hate the one and will love the other different one, or he will cling to the one and be minded against the other different one. You can’t be enslaved to the God and Mammona².

Because of this I tell you, don’t be anxious in your psyche³ about what you would eat or what you would drink, neither in your body about what you would be clothed with. Isn’t the psyche more than food and the body than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky that they don’t spread seed neither do they harvest neither do they collect into granaries, and your Heavenly Father feeds them; aren’t you rather different from them? Yet who from your anxiety can make himself grow up any faster? And what are you anxious about clothing for? Study how the lilies of the field are growing; they don’t wear themselves out from working neither do they spin thread for cloth; yet I tell you that neither Sh’lomo with all his glory was robed about like one of these. Yet if the hay from the field existing today and tomorrow being tossed into an oven the God robes in this way, won’t He you by so much more, little faiths? You shouldn’t then be anxious saying, “What would we eat?” Or, “what would we drink?” Or “What would we be robed with?” because the other people groups search after all these things; because your Heavenly Father knows instinctively that you need all of these things. Yet look first for the Kingdom of the God and the right state of being which is from Him, and all these things will be placed in front of you. You shouldn’t then be anxious for the next day, because the next day will be anxious about itself; its own malice is sufficient for this day.

“Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged; because you will be judged with what decision you use to judge, and it will be measured out to you with what measurement you use to measure. Yet what are you looking at the speck of wood which is in the eye of your brother for, yet you don’t contemplate the cut timber in your eye, or how will you say to your brother, “Let me toss out the speck of wood from your eye,” and look, there’s this beam of cut timber in your eye? Pretenders. Toss the cut timber out of your eye first, and then you will stare with both eyes open to toss out the speck of wood from the eye of your brother. Don’t give the holy thing to dogs neither should you toss your pearls in front of pigs, that they shouldn’t trample them with their feet, and turning around should tear you up and shatter you.

Ask and it will be given to you, look for it and you will find it, knock and it will be opened for you; because every single person asking receives and every single person looking for it finds it and to every single person knocking it will be opened. Or what human being is there from you whom his son would ask for a loaf of bread—he wouldn’t give him a stone, would he? Or also should ask for a fish—he wouldn’t give him a snake, would he? If you then being good for nothing know to give good gifts to your children, by how much more will your Father in the heavenly realms give good things to those asking Him. Then everything as much as you would wish that human beings would do to you, in the same way also you do to them; because this is the Torah and the prophets.

Enter through the narrow gate; because the gate is wide and the path is spacious leading away into the destruction [I told you about] and many are those entering through it; because the gate is narrow and the path squeezed leading away into the life [I told you about] and there are a small number of people who find it.

Pay attention to keep away from the false prophets, such ones as come to you with the clothing of sheep, yet from inside they are plundering wolves. You will know them by observation from their fruits. They don't collect bunches of grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles, do they? Thus every single good tree makes beautiful fruits, yet the rotten tree makes fruits that are good for nothing. A good tree can't make good for nothing fruits neither a rotten tree make beautiful fruits. Every single tree not making a beautiful fruit is cut down and is thrown into the fire. Therefore at least, you will know them by observation from their fruits.

Not every single person saying to Me, “Owner, Owner,” will enter into the kingdom of the heavenly realms, but the person doing the will of My Father who is in the heavenly realms. Many will say to Me on that day, “Owner, Owner, didn’t we prophecy by Your name, and didn’t we toss out demons by Your name, and didn’t we do many powers by Your name?” And then I will confess to them that, “I didn’t know you at any time; be parted away from Me you working at this lawlessness.”

Every single person then such as hears these messages communicated by My words and does them, will be the same as a mindful man, such as constructed his house upon the bedrock [above the wadi]; and the rain descended and the [flash flood] rivers came and the winds blew and fell towards that house, and it didn’t fall, because it was founded on the bedrock. And every single person hearing these messages communicated by My words and not doing them will be the same as a moronic man, such as who constructed his house on the sand [at the bottom of the wadi]; and the rain descended and the [flash flood] rivers came and the winds blew and struck against that house, and it fell and its fall was huge.”

And it happened when Yeshua finished these messages, the crowds were struck out of their senses upon His teaching; because he was teaching them like he held authority and not like their scribes.

1A Roman bronze coin worth one quarter of an assarius (which was worth 1/16th of a denarius, the daily average wage for a laborer in the 1^st century). The quadrans was the lowest value Roman coin in circulation.

2Mammona was an ancient Syrian/Chaldean deity of riches, similar to the Roman Pluto.

3The word ψυχη literally means “breath” and is also generally translated “soul.” It is the origin of the English psychiatric term “psyche,” which is just its transliteration, which can be defined as the sum total of all the constituent parts of who a person is, their mind, will, emotions, soul, neurology, experiences, memories, and so on. In the Hellenistic worldview, the ψυχη was made of πνευμα and was the immaterial part of the human being that was eternal. For this reason, where appropriate, I have used this transliteration rather than a translation.

A Ramble About "Wizard's First Rule"

 A long time ago, I received the second book in Terry Goodkind's series about Richard Rahl/Cypher called "The Stone of Tears". Enjoying it, I went and picked up "Wizard's First Rule," which was the first book in the series, as well as the third and fourth books. In these first two books however, I was introduced to the "Wizard's First Rule," which I have never forgotten. The Wizard's First Rule is that a person will believe anything either if they want it to be true or if they're afraid it might be true. After watching the series "Leverage," I suppose this could also be termed the "Conman's first rule" as well. As much as I would like to argue against it, there is too much evidence among human beings to support its validity. In short, if something appeals either to one's fear or their craving (their malfunctioning survival responses: if something is perceived as a need or a threat), they are more likely to believe it than not. And this presents serious consequences for both the individual and society as a whole. Some may take this concept as "woowoo," but the evidence and documentation for the effect that what one is actually convinced of are legion.
       For the individual, there can be serious consequences to their health as, like I was told during my neurofeedback treatments, the brain will attempt to do whatever it believes you want it to do, which is roughly how neurofeedback works. It's well known that a person's mental health can and will seriously affect their physical health over time. A person who is in a depression feedback loop, for example, will start to have low dopamine. There are serious health consequences for low dopamine or imbalanced dopamine in the brain. Parkinson's disease, for example, has been linked to low dopamine in a particular part of the brain. There are many documented cases where what someone has believed about their surroundings (i.e. the person who froze to death locked in a freezer that was broken), to what they believe about their personal health (i.e. someone who believes they are sick or going to die will like end up just so even if there was no initial physical cause), to other outcomes both positive and negative. I have even seen some evidence of a person recovering from a paralyzing spinal injury just by belief alone. According to Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements," this is also more or less how "spells" or "curses" work in those cultures or belief systems that make use of them. The person "agrees" with the spell or curse, that is, they believe what is being said, and their brain essentially works out the rest of it.
       For society, the consequences are much the same except on a grander scale. What the collective group of human beings believe is usually what they try to make happen, consciously or unconsciously. If the collective group of human beings believe things are well and will get better, chances are good that they will. If the collective group of human beings believe things are bad will will get worse, chances are equally good they will find a way to make that happen.
     As I look out at human beings and society today, the vast majority of our problems stem from what we have convinced ourselves of, either what we're afraid of happening or what we want to happen, rather than what is actually happening in this present moment. As human beings, we have the option to choose to believe whatever we want, reality or not, but we must understand and accept the consequences of what we believe about ourselves and about society as a whole.

The Relationship of the Logos to the God

 "But for us, one God, the Father out of whom are all things and we are into Him, and one Owner, Yeshua, the Anointed through whom are all things and we are through Him." - 1 Corinthians 8:6

"Who is the image of the unseen God, firstborn of all the creation, that with Him was created all things within the skies and upon the land, the visible things and the invisible things, either thrones or dominions or first principles or authorities; all things were created through Him and into Him; and He is before all things and all things stood together with Him..." - Colossians 1:15-17

     In Paul's writings we see a distinction, as in Stoic thought, between "the God and Father," and Jesus Christ. All of the ways in which Paul describes Jesus Christ in these two verses and elsewhere are almost word for word descriptions of the Logos from the Stoic authors where the God created the Logos first and brought about the rest of the creation with or by means of the Logos. While the Logos was identified with the God, a person in the first century would never have mistook the Logos for the God and Father, they being two related but different concepts. For the Logos to be called the "firstborn of all creation" is to imply that there was a point when the Logos was not, and the God was all there was. John explicitly calls Jesus Christ "the Logos" and says that the Logos incarnated. John, though explicitly explaining that Jesus Christ is in fact the Logos, also says that "no one has seen the God at any time" and that it is Jesus Christ as Logos, "that one of a kind Son who is at the breast of the Father explained Him fully."
     There is a great misunderstanding among modern American Christians in particular about the divinity of Jesus Christ because we are not taught and do not understand the first century Stoic concepts of the relationship between the God, the Logos, and the Pneuma which run all throughout the New Testament. No Christian in the first century would have said Jesus Christ is "the God and Father" because they understood the distinction or difference between the God and the Logos, of which every human being had a share. You didn't see anyone worshiping, that is performing rites of worship, to the Logos like they did to the God.
     This confusion really began not long after the Ecumenical Councils as the extent of the divinity of the Son came under question and was continuously reinforced in reaction to Arianism and Nestorianism. One way in which this can be seen is even in the two different versions of the Nicene Creed, the Orthodox version and the Catholic version with which western Christians are most familiar. In the Catholic version, two additions were made by a Spanish bishop that were later adopted by the rest of the western church through Charlamagne's influence, "God from God," and the famous "filioque" insertion in reference to the Holy Spirit proceeding from the Father, that is, the addition of "and the Son."
     The Logos, born from the God and Father, was the instrument used through which all creation came to be. The Logos was next to the God, and the Logos was divine in nature. But there was never any confusion in the first century mind about the distinction between the Logos and the God and Father, or the different roles which were played by them. It was only after the Councils that you see this confusion begin to take root as they overreacted against dissenting opinions.

More Thoughts on What It Means To Be A Genuine Disciple of Jesus Christ

 Discipleship of Jesus Christ is about channeling Jesus Christ who Himself channels the Father. It's about recognizing and living one's unity with the Source who is all consuming Love, and recognizing that same Source in everyone else around you. The person who doesn't say goodbye to whatever they started off with, who doesn't live as though having died, or who doesn't let go of anything or anyone else that they have an attachment to cannot be His disciple (His words, not mine).
     To love this Source with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your strength, and all of your mind is to let go of your very self, to leave no room for that malfunctioning mind and to disengage from it so that He is fully in control and your own biology, your own physiology is not. To love the person next to you like yourself is to see yourself in that person, to see your unity with that person, to look through their eyes, to feel what they feel, to understand why they do what they do and how you could have done the same were you them. To be a disciple of Jesus Christ is to embrace one's own oneness with the Source who is God who is Love, and to embrace that oneness with every other person around you.
     The person who doesn't love is not a disciple, and therefore not a Christian, because they do not know God by experience. The person who is unmerciful is not a disciple, because mercy is born of love. It is born of empathy and compassion for the other person. The person who sees the other person as "other" than themselves and treats them as such, how can that person be a disciple when they do not recognize themselves in that person? As Paul wrote, "all is yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's." See yourself in the person next to you.
     See yourself in the homeless man on the street, and imagine how you could have been him. See yourself in the illegal immigrant and imagine what would have driven you to risk the life threatening dangers they did. See yourself in the drug addict, and imagine what would have driven you to start using. See yourself in the person you disagree with and ask yourself why they came to the conclusions they did. And in all of this don't just see yourself, see the One behind each one of them as well as you. When we love one another, when we love the person next to us, we are loving God. No one can love God and hate his fellow human being.
     The marks of a genuine disciple are clear, and they start with love.

How We See Others Is How We Treat Them

      How we see others is how we are going to treat them. If we see them as objects, we're going to treat them as objects. If we see them as worthless, as property, or as a means to an end, then we will treat them accordingly. If we see them as a person guilty of a crime, then that is how we will act around them. If we see them as a condemned sinner then we will act accordingly. If we see them as an enemy, we will treat them as such. If we see them as a friend, we will treat them as a friend. If we see them as family, then we will treat them as family. If we see them as a creation of God, a genuine child of God, a vessel carrying the Spirit of Christ, a walking shrine housing the Living God, then we will respond to them in that way. We may not even be fully conscious of how we are seeing the other person, but this holds true regardless that we will treat them how we view them.

     How do you love someone as yourself? How do you treat them like you treat yourself? You see them as yourself. You put yourself in their shoes. You attempt to feel what they feel, and understand how they arrived at where they are at. You become them, and they you in that moment. If you see the other person as "other" then you will treat them as "other." If you see the other person as yourself, you will treat them like you treat yourself.

     How can I love the person I don't even like? See Jesus in them. Imagine, not this person that you don't like standing next to you, but Jesus Himself in every person around you. Imagine, that just as God is omnipresent, so He is also experiencing what you are experiencing through you, and He is experiencing what that other person is experiencing through them. And so when you are kind to this person you may or may not like, you are being kind to God. When you are hurting or being violent towards this other person, you are hurting or being violent towards God. Mother Teresa when asked why she helped the poor, the dying, and the outcasts in India replied, "Because I see Jesus' face when I look at them." In many ways, this is the simplest and most basic of Christian practices towards discipleship and learning to love God, our neighbor, our enemies, and one another. Jesus taught, "Just as you have done to the least of these My brothers, you have done it to Me." Understanding this in a more literal sense is a useful and profoundly effective exercise for the disciple of the Way.

     Doing away with the mentality of the "other" separating "I" from "you" and "us" from "Him" is the only real, practical way to fulfill the two great commandments to Love God with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your strength, and all of your mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Reflections On Phoenix, My Intersex Son

    I've only really written on this subject before in passing, but I don't think I've ever really written on it directly. The truth is my views on these matters have changed significantly over the years, especially as they have more recently struck much closer to home. Now, I have received permission to talk about this more publicly in the hopes that it might help others as well.

     Intersex is a condition where a person is born, to varying degrees, with both male and female anatomy or characteristics. The type of intersex most people are probably familiar with is hermaphroditism, where the anatomy is more or less fully formed and functional for both, but there are other less well known forms such as testicular femininity, where a person's testes never descended and they have a vagina but no ovaries. Other forms are things like XX male where the person is chromosomally female but anatomically male. There's a range of possibilities for variance where the development of the genitalia and physical sex is concerned.

     I first learned about hermaphroditism when I was a kid. To be honest, I thought it was weird but kind of cool and even made the person just a bit special. I didn't really know the extent of what was possible until a documentary I watched about not only the condition of intersex and ambiguous genitalia, but also what used to be the response of the hospital delivering the baby once it was discovered, that is, that they would almost always automatically assign the baby as a girl and perform "gender corrective" surgery almost on the spot, often almost forcing parents to agree to it. My understanding is that this practice has become less prevalent as it was discovered that just performing a surgery and raising the child as a girl doesn't always result in them staying a girl by their choice. Many who now choose to be young men were "gender corrected" at birth and forced to be raised as girls because of their ambiguous genitalia. Besides the documentary and other media I've engaged with about this issue, we also went over it in my psychology coursework in college. Fortunately, this practice of forced assignment has become less and less over the years since those documentaries were filmed. In some ways, knowing this however has informed my understanding and beliefs about transgender people as well. How do you know this did not happen with someone who was raised one gender and believes themselves to be another? There are few if any real publicly available records about how many of these surgeries were done on children shortly after birth.

     I have three children, all of them grown adults now. My daughter Tressa, my son Aidan, and Phoenix, born Kalissa. A few years ago, after some pretty intense personality and identity issues which I once wrote about on Phoenix's behalf, Kalissa began identifying as male, absolutely convinced that "she" was actually a "he" and was born that way. Heidi and I had changed Kalissa's diapers when "she" was little, and while Heidi noticed something a little bit different, nothing really struck her as completely off. We raised Kalissa as a girl, and really most people who first met her and Tressa thought they were twins even though they were a year and a half apart. But after the intense identity crisis, even involving multiple "personalities," Kalissa's identity settled as male, not female, and he took the name "Phoenix" to reflect this.

     To be honest, this hasn't been the easiest of transitions for the rest of us, and in some ways I think we thought at first that it might just be a phase she was going through. But as the weeks turned into months, and the months into years, he struggled with it. On the one hand, he didn't want to upset us, but on the other hand his largely female appearance felt like a lie and sent him into many depressive states. He asked us to use the male pronouns with him, and to refer to him as male, and we have really tried to honor this request, but it was hard being asked to completely change how you refer to someone you've known for over two decades. The brain doesn't make that switch easily. And so we would slip up and he would correct, but it hurt him every time. And besides, as far as we knew, he was anatomically female. Then he told us he found his "boy parts." We didn't know what to think, and we weren't going to ask to see them. Again, at least a year went by like this.

      Finally, maybe to prove to himself he wasn't crazy, he took a picture of his genitalia and showed it to his mother. Heidi was shocked, and even describing it to me (I was spared the photo) became incredibly emotional as she described it. Phoenix had both kinds of anatomy. Neither appearing fully formed per se, but they were there, and as he describes it, his male genitalia is at least partly functional. His genitalia at this stage of his life can only be described as "ambiguous." Phoenix wasn't crazy, and we should have listened more deeply sooner. Phoenix is intersex, and as intersex has chosen to identify as male.

     The truth is, it was probably a blessing that this wasn't caught when he was born. Given who we were and how we thought in 2000, we might have opted for the surgery and done far more damage to him even as we would have thought we were helping. How did it happen? We actually have a theory that can only be verified through some intensive genetic testing. Phoenix has a second set of teeth under his adult teeth in addition to his double set of genitalia. He's also remarked that one hand doesn't quite match the other. We wonder if he wasn't originally conceived as two fertilized eggs and then one was absorbed into the other as a chimera. It's speculation, but it's something for us to look into.

      Why am I making this public? First, because Phoenix wants people to understand that he is not transgender as we first originally thought. As far as he is concerned, he was born male but with female attributes as well. He wishes to be seen as a straight male instead of a transgender male or a "queer" female. At this juncture, it's a reasonable request to honor given what we now know. It's not my place, or anyone else's place to tell him who or what he is. Second, because I want people to understand that Phoenix and other intersex people are not aberrations or "mistakes" that need to be corrected. This assumes that somehow God made a mistake when He made Phoenix or any other intersex person. I assume most people can understand the inherent flaw in that logic. There is male, there is female, and yes, there is that small portion of the human population that is somewhere in between, and they are not mistakes. They are a beautiful testament of God's design meant to teach us both compassion, and respect for the the maleness and femaleness in all of us.

      I imagine like many parents in my position, I still have trouble calling Phoenix my son and Tressa and Aidan's brother, but I'll get over it. If I love and respect him as who God made him to be, I will do so. Knowing what I know now, and from where I started, I will defend his choice to be who he is because it's the choice which God gave him regardless of what anyone else demands he be or not be. I believe that the love which is commanded and required of those who call themselves disciples of Jesus demands no less.

The Force Has Chosen You, But You Must Choose The Force

 "The Force has chosen you, but you must choose the Force." - Midnight Horizon, Daniel Jose Older

I've reflected on these words more than once since I read them a couple of years ago. Within Christianity, we often refer to God calling someone either to discipleship or to a specific role. In the Gospels, Jesus calls or invites several people to follow Him and be his disciples. Not everyone does. After the Bread of Life Discourse in John 6, many who had followed Him left when they didn't understand what He was saying and thought He had lost His mind. Jesus had called each one of them. Jesus had chosen each one of them, but each one of them had to choose Him as well.
     Discipleship is a two-way street. It's an agreement between master and disciple and requires the commitment of time, patience, energy, and practice of both parties. It isn't enough that the master has chosen you, you must commit yourself to his instruction.
     The Force has chosen you, but you must choose the Force. I once wrote a Ramble called "Yoda Pancakes." It focused on Yoda's duel with Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones, especially where Dooku attempts to bury Yoda with heavy stones and rocks ripped from the ceiling of the cave they're in. At that moment, Yoda had to choose the Force rather than his own devices. Otherwise, he would have been a little green smudge on the ground. A Yoda pancake.
     Similarly, Christ has chosen you, but you must choose Christ. Christ has called you, but you must choose to submit to the guidance, direction, and control of the Spirit of Christ instead of your own malfunctioning flesh. Every charism, every "spiritual gift" is dependent on you ceding control to the Spirit of Christ, and choosing not to act on your fear, anger, or bodily cravings. Every fruit of the Spirit is absolutely dependent on you choosing the Spirit of Christ, and not your own flesh's ravings.
     You cannot be a disciple of Jesus Christ without committing to being a disciple of Jesus Christ. You cannot be a disciple without choosing to live as He taught and walk as He walked. You cannot display the fruit of the Spirit of Christ, or use its gifts, without choosing to submit to and cooperate with the Spirit of Christ, because they are born from the Spirit and not your own devices, your own flesh, or your own emotions or passions.
      Christ has chosen you, but you must choose Christ.

A Ramble About Woowoo

      Not long ago, I was answering a friend's question about what I would say to the parents of a child who was dying of cancer. Having done volunteer spiritual care at UCI Irvine, I didn't have to imagine too hard what I would say. I don't remember being in that specific situation, but I was called to several potentially terminal situations and asked to comfort patients and their families. Among other things which I said in response to my friend I told her I would try to keep their spirits up, and I explained that the worst thing you could do in that situation was to make it more stressful. My friend's response was that keeping a positive attitude won't do anything to heal them in that situation, and that what I was suggesting was "woo" or "woowoo." My friend's response has been in the back of my mind ever since.

     According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, "woowoo" means "dubiously or outlandishly mystical, supernatural, or unscientific." It's an interesting choice of words which my friend used. It's been documented and demonstrated that the more a person with an illness believes that they're going to get better, the more they "fight," the better their odds. It's a medical fact that when a person is stressed, their immune system is lowered as they go into fight or flight. The idea of trying to lower the stress level of the patient as a person sent to comfort them in order to bolster healing and improve their odds is based on hard science. And yet my friend believed I was telling them "woo."

     Over the last couple of years, I've been dong a lot of reading about the research done on subjects my friend would no doubt consider woowoo as well. Things like past lives, near death experiences, and most recently, UFOs. I would have considered them woowoo at one time too. But the research and writing which I've been reading was done by people with M.D.s and a few other letters after their names who used the scientific method over and over to observe and record their case studies, sometimes for years, and there are a lot of case studies with mountains of documentation and evidence. The one I've read most recently was written by the former head of the Pentagon's team researching and documenting UAP encounters with military service members. He only went public when the Pentagon itself stonewalled him. At first glance, I'd be skeptical too, except what can be corroborated from what he says is easily corroborated with a few Google searches, and the fact that three of the people he writes about went before Congress last year and testified as whistleblowers about the reality of UAP, and the Pentagon's long history with obfuscating, stigmatizing, and burying anything and everything about it. They did so because they, as pilots, had personal encounters with UAP, as had large numbers of their peers, and they saw these things as a threat which the Pentagon was totally ignoring and potentially risking the lives of our service men and women in the process. Congress acted on their nearly unimpeachable word.

      So, what's been rattling around in my mind is the question, "When does it stop being woo?" When is there enough evidence presented, gathered using scientific methods, to where a person would acknowledge or accept the reality being presented which may or may not contradict their own worldview? When is it enough to say "Yes, this may actually be happening, and I will have to shift my worldview." Maybe this point is different for each person, but I believe it to be a relevant question, not just to the topics I've mentioned, but for many other topics as well. From my own experience observing and listening to other people, many will go to great lengths to ignore or suppress whatever data or evidence exists that contradicts their worldview. A little gray alien with big black eyes could show up, ring the doorbell, and say "Hi!" and they still would not accept it as anything other than "woowoo."

     If experts in their fields who have spent years researching and observing these phenomena, or any phenomena, are telling you "yes, this is real," and you refuse to believe them, what would you believe? When the evidence for the "woowoo" starts slapping you in the face, will it then be enough? Having been slapped a few times myself, I've learned to keep a more than open mind the hard way. I've learned that it serves no one to deny what reality keeps leaving on our doorstep.