A Ramble About Valhalla

 I just finished watching a playthrough of the new game Assassin's Creed: Valhalla. Fair warning, I'm going to talk about part of the game's ending, so if you plan to play it and don't want spoilers, this probably isn't a great time to read this. I've taken to watching these videos rather than playing the games myself first, because I'm more interested in the stories than the actual gameplay, and second, because I'm honestly at a point where I have trouble playing detailed combat games without having a bad stress reaction. The point and click combat system of games like World of Warcraft and Lord of the Rings Online are fine, but when a game requires to you enter an active combat mentality and mentally react as though you were actually fighting... Truth is, it can send me into a panic attack because of some of my previous work experiences. I even have trouble with Legend of Zelda games now, a series which I've really enjoyed since I was twelve, for that same reason. So, if I want to enjoy the stories, I get to watch instead of do.

For those who don't know, this game in particular is the latest installment of the Assassin's Creed franchise which is a series of games based on the idea of a hidden order of "good guy" Assassins who wage a secret war throughout history against an ancient order of "bad guys" trying to dominate humanity and take away people's free will. The games are known for their richly intricate historical details and weaving their narratives through real historical events and interacting with historical figures. It was even rumored that the depiction of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris in one of the games was so accurate that it was used as a reference in the rebuilding of the real cathedral after the recent fire. In my opinion, the latest version of Assassin's Creed does not disappoint. It is at times a caricature of life and politics within Viking culture in ninth century Norway and England, and at times a brutally honest overview sparing nothing and no one even as it interweaves the more fantastical science fiction elements involving the "Isu," a race of ancient beings who would later be remembered as the gods of Greek, Egyptian, and Norse mythologies

I've been contemplating the finale and ending of the game since I finished watching it last night. The main story follows the character of Eivor Wolf-kissed, a Norseman who travels with his adopted brother Sigurd from Norway to England to establish a new settlement with the intent of subjugating it and bringing it under their rule. Eivor begins as a dyed in the wool Viking who lives for personal glory, battle, pillaging, and is the very definition of the Norse "hero" ultimately seeking to please his god, the All-Father Odin well enough to be admitted to Valhalla in the afterlife; the great hall of heroes and warriors where they fight all day and drink all night. He also has a personal mission to redeem what he sees as his family's personal shame, his birth father's attempt at saving his family and clan by throwing down his war ax and allowing himself to be killed rather than dying in battle. Eivor, in accordance with his Norse beliefs, was convinced his father was a coward. Thus Eivor fights, drinks, and lives harder, more ferociously, and with more cunning in many ways than any of his peers so that his father's shame would not be his. He goes on to fulfill his ambition of subjugating most of England through removing his enemies, creating alliances with other Norsemen who are already there, and installing Saxon puppet rulers until only Aelfred's kingdom of Wessex remains independent. By the end of the game, Norse and Saxon bards alike are singing songs about his deeds from one end of England to another. Valhalla, in his belief system, is assured.

Then, at the end of the game, he and his brother Sigurd travel to an ancient Isu temple-like facility in northern Norway where, in a manner of speaking, like Odin they are hung from the world tree and are thrust into Valhalla, the warrior's paradise of battle, song, and drink they had been striving for. At first, they believe it to be everything they desired, but soon enough things sour. Eivor realizes that the warrior's paradise he has found himself in is an illusion. Each victory he wins there is hollow and empty. In a way, it turns from his first ideal of paradise, to an unnatural hellish torment he has to fight to escape from as it repeats over and over again, the same thing, the same meaningless kills, the same meaningless revelry.

And who does he have to fight? The god in whose name he killed and went a viking, Odin himself. The All-Father turns from being his inspiration and kindred spirit to being his tormentor and jailer who attacks him and drags him back from the gates which would lead to his freedom. It's only when Eivor lets go of his ax that he is able to escape from Odin's physical hold. The god spits curses at him, swearing at him that Eivor was nothing without him, promising him power, battles, and glory and asking him what more could he possibly want? Eivor answers, "Everything else" as he is received into the loving and supporting arms of his family, friends, and clansmen. Odin's desperation at keeping Eivor bound to him is palpable, and as I watched that scene, I think it was clear that Odin needed Eivor's devotion far more than the Norseman needed his parasitic false deity, the incarnation of selfishness willing to trample anyone standing in his way, feeding on Eivor's personal pain, ambition, and insecurities.

I wrote in a previous ramble comparing life to an online game whose account has been lost. That, just like in that game once the plug is pulled, all that we conquered, all that we accomplished for ourselves, all the wealth we collected, all the reputation we've earned, all the work we put into it will vanish and we will be left with nothing. Like Eivor, we strive and trample others for glory, wealth, and power in this life, putting to the sword (metaphorically speaking, hopefully) anyone who stands in our way. But when the ending of the game is reached, what do we find? We have nothing to show for all the hours we spent grinding. It is all an illusion. Empty. Meaningless.

As I consider Eivor's story, a man who reached the Valhalla for which he was striving, I wonder at its quickly changing from his ideal of paradise to his potentially unending torment. The thought comes to me of all those in this life who, like Eivor, fight and struggle to reach wealth and power, and then when they do, find it lonely, empty, and hollow even after achieving what they had sought. And then the thought comes to me about what eternal torment truly is. Is it being burned for eternity in literal fires? Or is it being stuck in an illusory paradise reliving the same selfish, empty battles over and over again, being reminded constantly of all the people you've hurt to get there. The sweet wine sours. The conquests become wearying. And all you can see are the faces of those who suffered because of your selfishness, and they want nothing to do with you. You've won the Valhalla you sought, and it becomes your eternal hell. The false god you served your whole life becomes your jailer and tormentor. But this is no fictional game. There is no exit from it. You burn with that knowledge, consumed by its flames.

I recently watched a video as well about a man who had a near death experience thirty five years ago. Whatever you may believe about these accounts, the man who recalled was clearly sincere and so profoundly affected by it that his whole life changed and he became a Christian pastor. It was a "road to Damascus" moment if ever one was had in this day and age. In this experience, as an atheist and a selfishly ambitious man, he died in a hospital bed in France and found himself in darkness being attacked by creatures that sought to tear him apart (not his version of paradise, to be sure). Receiving the instruction to pray from an unseen voice, he cried out to the person of Jesus he had believed in as a young child. He did this until his tormentors fled swearing and screaming at him to stop, and Jesus Himself came and pulled him out. And it was then that he was both told and shown that what really mattered was how he had loved others in his life, and who he had touched with that love. As he experienced all this, he also experienced the absolute, overwhelming, all consuming, forgiving love of God for him for which words failed him to describe. And then God, quite against his own will, sent him back to do it over and to learn what loving others meant.

In our lives, we can either strive for our own empty Valhalla, or we can strive to love and be loved. We can trample others in a pursuit for meaningless glory on behalf of a false god who needs us far more than we need him, or we can spend our time grinding for what really matters to the genuine God who will be there once the game ends. Learning to love Him, and love all those around us.