I was rewatching the
Matrix tonight. Where philosophical concepts are concerned, this
particular film is the gift that keeps on giving. But what stood out
to me tonight is when Morpheus tells Neo, “Free your mind.” In
the context of the film, Morpheus was testing Neo on how much he had
absorbed in his training in terms of martial arts, and Kung Fu
specifically.
At first, regardless
of Neo’s obvious mastery of the art, he keeps ending up on the
floor, defeated by the seemingly faster and stronger Morpheus. The
older man asks him, “How did I beat you?” To which Neo replies,
gasping for breath and sweating, “You’re too fast.” To this
Morpheus replies, “Do you really think that my strength and my
speed have anything to do with my muscles in this place?” And then
he asks, “Do you really think that’s air you’re breathing. Free
your mind, Neo.”
Neo was still
operating under the experience of reality that had been programmed
into his memories all of his life. Reality was supposed to be a
certain way. Even when exposed to the truth that what he had assumed
was reality was in fact a computer simulation, Neo continued to
operate as though it weren’t because that’s what he had always
done even though he knew the truth.
After Neo realizes
the truth of what Morpheus is saying, he takes the lesson to heart
and becomes faster, stronger, and eventually able to pin Morpheus to
the wall, his fist inches from Morpheus’ face. But even then, he
still cannot seem to let go of his prior experience and “programming”
in order to be who he truly is at that moment.
Today, my wife
confronted me with a truth that was very similar to Morpheus’. I
have trouble with making and keeping close friends. This is no
mystery to anyone who had met me. This holds doubly true when making
friends with older men who might become mentors or “father figures”
to me. But the reasons why I have trouble stem from my past and the
memories and patterns of thinking and behaving I have which were
formed prior to my neurofeedback treatments. Even though I can
generally read people now (when I’m not stressed or overwhelmed),
and emotions come in real time, I am still operating as though I had
not had those treatments in many cases. This is unconscious to be
sure. I don’t intend to do it any more than Neo intended to forget
he was in a computer program and he wasn’t actually winded or
breathing air there at all. I have the same problem Neo did. I have
the neurological or “hardware” capacity for more and deeper
relationships, but I am not going there because those experiences and
memories with which I was initially “programmed” are still
calling the shots.
I have been thinking
on this since. And my thought is this, all of that prior programming
which is still affecting my thinking and behavior is essentially
fiction at this point.
What do I mean by
this? Do I mean those events and experiences which reside in my
memory never happened? No. But they do not exist now. Right now. In
this moment. They are as true in this moment as the events of the
Matrix movie. I am no longer the same person. Those people I
interacted with are no longer the same people. The situations and
circumstances of those experiences lodged in my memories are only as
real now as my memories of them which is like watching old movies of
my life.
Using those events
to predetermine and place limitations on the outcomes of new
experiences and circumstances is just as erroneous as Neo sweating
and breathing hard on the computer construct dojo mat. He had to
confront the truth that the dojo and even the air he was breathing so
heavily weren’t even real. And so also I have to confront that the
memories of those experiences which still cause me to physically
shudder, or cause panic attacks, or send me into a sadness or anger,
are no longer real either.
Another image which
stood out to me is the final fight between Neo and Agent Smith. Smith
never addresses Neo by that name. He always addresses him by the name
the Matrix gave him, “Mr. Anderson.” Agent Smith is the
personification of Neo’s prior programming and past trying to force
him back, torturing and beating him relentlessly and sadistically. In
Agent Smith, I saw my own experiences and memories doing the same to
me, keeping me from making new relationships unaffected by those that
came beforehand, relentless trying to force me to submit to that
original programming.
It is the easier
thing to let my mind operate on the prior programming. It is the
easier thing to allow that prior programming to determine the
limitations of future outcomes, whether or not it is erroneous and I
know it. As Morpheus told Neo, “knowing the path, and walking the
path are two very different things.”
In this things, I am
also reminded of what Jesus taught when He said, “Follow Me, and
let the dead bury their own dead.” And also, “Don’t worry about
tomorrow, sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” I am also
reminded of what Paul wrote to the Philippians when he said,
“Forgetting those things behind, and reaching forward to those
things in front...” It has also occurred to me that freedom from
Hamartia in Jesus Christ is also freeing one’s mind from the prior
programming of Hamartia through union with Him and being a vessel and
vehicle for Christ.
In the end, Neo had
to die and resurrect to fully realize who he was. It was only after
his resurrection that the projectiles fired at him from those agents
trying to force his submission could not touch him. There is a great
truth here for the Christian as well. In the Scriptures, Paul wrote
in Ephesians 6:16, “above
all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to
quench all the fiery darts of the evil one.”
(WEB) It took Neo’s death and resurrection for him to finally
believe the truth, and in believing that truth, those bullets were
harmless to him. So also it takes our submission to the death of
Jesus Christ, recognizing His death as our own and that it is now
Christ who lives within us, that such projectiles of the prior
programming might become harmless to us.
Finally,
there is the “candidate” boy who tells Neo, “Don’t try to
bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Rather only try to realize the
truth, and you will see that it is you who bends.” To which Neo
asks, “And what is the truth?” The boy replies, “That there is
no spoon.” Just like the memory of the experience which haunts me,
torments me, and screams at me to act in a certain way is in fact,
right here and right now, a total fiction. The experience which is
dictating my behavior simply doesn’t exist, and rather than trying
to impossibly change that experience over and over in my head,
reliving it needlessly, I must realize the truth that the experience
which torments me does not exist any longer and only has life because
I continue to hold onto it in my mind.
I
think I’m going to hold onto the following words for a while and
let them remind me of these things.
Free
your mind. Do you really think that’s air you’re breathing? There
is no spoon.
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