A Ramble About Evidence

Today I just felt drained. I finally got hired for part time work with an event security company here in Orange County. It's not much, but it's at least a paying job. So, the past couple of days I have been preoccupied with getting to an interview (not realizing that the bus didn't go far enough down the street I needed it to and having to walk the extra mile or two), putting together clothes for a uniform, and attending an orientation yesterday morning. This morning it felt like all I could do to just pray for the two services our church holds on Sundays.

I spent most of today just browsing Facebook, checking the news online, and watching some clips from Youtube. One of the pictures on Facebook caught my eye. It was of a series of chat messages between a friend of a friend and an atheist whom this friend of a friend had never met before. She had posted it for those friends and friends of friends who might find it interesting. I fell into the latter category and read through it.

This person wrote, in reference to religion:

Not exactly, I'm just saying its a flawed system all together and I for a long time felt horrible because I didn't believe in a religion and I tried very hard but I realized that this is who I am and what a believe, beyond that the logistics of religion are ridiculous and illogical, and everyone always says you don't need logic and things but it's important. And I'm not saying that I know exactly what's going t happen when I die if there is a god (which I don't believe there is) and if it's the Christian God I will gladly and easily go to hell because I don't want to be in a heaven that won't accept people for who they are or for what they believe no matter the type of person they are

Everyday because I'm atheist people tell me I'm going to somewhere I don't even believe in, and I would like to think that if there was a heaven I would get into it because I'm a nice person with good morals but apparently not

This what I believe and I get people making assumptions everyday about how I live my life and honestly I don't deserve what I get

(reprinted from a photo posted on Facebook, author unknown)

If nothing else, this is a good, honest explanation of where this person is at. If we were to get technical, I wouldn't classify this person as an atheist, but as an agnostic. They were willing to give the existence of God or a god a shot, and couldn't find verifiable evidence to back it up in their experience. It sounds like the person may still be open to the possibility of God with the right evidence. In my opinion, I don't think the failure is necessarily with the person who wrote this as much as it lies with the “evangelists” who represented the Christian faith and the existence of God to this person.

For me, the idea the God might not exist is ridiculous. It is more ridiculous than if someone were to tell me my wife didn't actually exist but she was a figment of my imagination (hey, you watch Matrix enough and it can start to play philosophical games with your head about the nature of reality). I've had an experiential relationship with Him now for many, many years and have seen His movements, answers to prayer that cross the miracle border and then some, and sensed and been aware of His presence in ways so deeply intimate and unmistakable that His existence just isn't a question for me. I know Him in the same way that I know my wife, or my kids, or the friend from college that I've known for twenty years (although I hear from Him a lot more than the friend from college). I know Him well enough now to know something of generally why He does what He does, and why He's likely to not do something. I can't usually predict what He's going to do. There're too many factors involved in His decision making for me to handle. He still surprises me all the time, and I'm never going to fully understand Him (that is physically impossible), but we do have that kind of a relationship.

The author of the chat text doesn't. For whatever reason, he or she doesn't have the kind of experience or evidence of God that I and many others do. Just telling this kind of a person to “believe and then you'll see” doesn't fly with him or her. It's a useless, and potentially harmful cliché which, as in this person's case, when it doesn't work in their opinion causes them to distance themselves even further.

This kind of person needs to see the evidence of God. With Jesus, His apostles, and many of the Saints throughout history part of this evidence took the form of demonstrations of power, miraculous healings, even resurrection from the dead. This became undeniable evidence of the truth of what they said. Of course, even this kind of evidence was challenged by those who found it threatening their positions (see Pharisees and the Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). To this day, even many Christians challenge the veracity of miracles performed by the Saints of the Church because such miracles threaten their interpretation of Holy Scripture and Gospel truth. Here's a question, how can we point to the evidence God supports us with to prove our claims, when we refuse to accept it ourselves?

The other kind of evidence that Jesus, the Apostles, and the Saints of old demonstrated was the evidence of their lives. They weren't just good people. The sacrificed themselves and their desires to obey, move closer to and be with the God who loved them and whom they loved. They did this being motivated and empowered by His uncreated energies which also, coincidentally, powered the more visually flashy evidence of His presence. People saw that there wasn't just something a little bit different about them. They saw they they were from a whole 'nother world and were eager to get back to it. They saw that they refused to be assimilated into this world, this world hated them for it, and the feeling was mutual. They saw the unreasonable compassion, lovingkindness, and self-sacrifice which bordered on insanity to the point that these people were singing praises to God as they were crucified, burned alive, torn apart by lions and skinned alive.

The person who wrote that chat text hasn't seen any of this from those who claim to be witnesses who have evidence of the presence of God and the truth of their religious faith. This isn't his or her fault. He or she shouldn't be expected to want to “become a Christian” based on the strength of someone's condemnation of their assumed lifestyle, especially if the person “witnessing” isn't acting or living any differently than he or she is.

Why would any sane person want to belong to a church or religious group that doesn't have the evidence to back up their claims? Why should we expect them to “just believe” when we don't even pretend to act like we believe, let alone actually believe and act on it? This is not the failure of the honest atheist or agnostic. This is a failure of the dishonest “Christian.”

I do not know if I will ever run into the person who wrote this text, but I want to thank them for their honesty. I hope, I truly hope, that if I ever do meet them that I will not have to say one word for them to understand the presence of God around and within me. If I do have to say anything, then I had better keep my mouth closed anyway. If God doesn't support my claim to faith without my saying anything, then He and I need to have a serious talk, and I have a lot of explaining to do.

A Ramble About Kung Fu Pastors

This is a subject which, in my experience, most people really don't seem to understand or get. There is a profession which really requires years of study and hands on experience. The training for it often requires personal and financial sacrifices which can leave the student in financial debt in the many tens of thousands of dollars. The moral standards to which the student is held are absolute. When this professional level is finally achieved, the person is often asked to work for near minimum wage, or no salary at all, and they are expected to be fine with it. To top it off, just about everyone else who hasn't spent the time, effort and money studying and practicing generally believes they know more about this profession than the person licensed to practice it, and most disregard his advice and instruction when it suits them.

Do you know what this profession is? Talk to your pastor. He'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Everyone seems to think they are able to interpret the Holy Scriptures, and instruct others in the path of Jesus Christ better than those actually trained to do it, and the less experience they have as a Christian, the more able they believe themselves to be. I know, I used to do it too. Chances are if you're reading this, so did you at one time.

It's not a new problem. St. Neilos writes about it in the early fifth century:

There is another thing which in my opinion is truly disgraceful, and for which with good reason we are ridiculed by all. When someone has just entered the monastic life and has learnt merely about the outward practices of asceticism – how and when monks pray, what they eat and how they dress – at once he claims to teach others concerning things he has not mastered himself. He goes about with a bevy of disciples, although himself still needing instruction; he thinks it easy to be a spiritual guide, not realizing the care of all men's souls is of all things the most difficult. … To master any art requires time and much instruction; can the art of arts alone be mastered without being learnt? No one without experience would go in for farming; not would someone who has never been taught medicine try to practice as a doctor. The first would be condemned for making good farmland barren and weed infested; the second, for making the sick worse instead of better. The only art which the uninstructed dare to practice, because they think it the simplest of all, is that of the spiritual way. What is difficult the majority regard as easy; and what Paul says he has not yet apprehended, they claim to know through and through, although they do not know even this: that they are totally ignorant. This is why the monastic life has come to be treated with contempt, and those who follow it are mocked by everyone. For who would not laugh when he sees someone who yesterday served in a tavern, posing today as a teacher of virtue, surrounded by pupils? … If such people realized clearly how much painful toil is required to guide others on the spiritual way, and if they knew the risks involved, they would certainly abandon the task as beyond their powers. But because they remain ignorant of this and regard it as a glory to be the guide of others, they will when the moment comes tumble headlong into the pit. (St. Neilos the Ascetic, c. 415 AD, pp. 215-216, The Philokalia The Complete Text, Vol. I, compiled by St. Nikodomos of the Holy Mountain, Palmer, G.E.H., Philip Sherrard, and Kallistos Ware, ed. and trans., New York: Faber and Faber, 1979)

What is truly exasperating is that when the educated and trained pastor tries to point out his education and training as actually qualifying him to do his job, the uneducated and untrained person uses that pastor's education and training against him as though it disqualified him completely! And heaven help the poor pastor if he makes a mistake like losing his temper!

Here's the thing, the Christian faith and rule of life is, first and foremost, a discipline of practice which has to not only be taught, but learned through experience and repetition like a martial art for example. You have to do it over and over again before it becomes ingrained to where you no longer consciously think about it but you just instinctively react that way. This cannot be acquired instantly or through a brief observation. It would be like the nine year old boy who goes to watch an action movie and comes away believing he knows kung-fu because he remembers more or less the movements which the actors made in the movie. When he attempts to show off his new found skills, the clumsiness of his movements demonstrate to everyone that he has no idea what he's doing. So it is with the “disciple” who merely observes or reads about how a Christian is to act and then believes he has arrived. There is also the added problem of the person only observing or reading about “Christians” who themselves are like that nine year old boy. The rule of faith and practice then degenerates into some kind of ridiculous farce which barely, if at all, resembles the original, “Grace”-ful art.

The nine year old who truly wants to learn kung fu will have his parents take him to a training center with someone who has spent the years necessary to master his art (which is actually what “kung fu” means). He will take his place humbly and patiently as a learner and go through the hard work of learning each movement by painfully repeating it over and over again, programming his muscles to respond without thought. He will make painful mistakes, and likely get hurt in the process. He will learn to heal and go right back into training. He will spend years doing this, disciplining his body and mind to where they act in concert. So it is with the person who truly wants to follow the path of Jesus Christ.

Pastors will make mistakes even though they may have been practicing for many years. This doesn't mean they don't know what they're doing. It means they're still under constant demonic attack from temptations and thoughts trying to insinuate themselves within them, and still haven't reached the full maturity of the resurrection yet any more than you or I have. Even St. Paul in Philippians 3 said he hadn't yet achieved this at the time he wrote it.

It is true that there are some pastors who's heads are filled with knowledge, have gone through all the seminary training, and still don't seem to know what they're doing. It is equally true that there are a few that don't seem to have gone through any formal training at all, and yet appear near Sainthood. From my experience (take it as you will), both situations tend to be in the minority.

Although many pastors today tend to avoid using the title “Reverend”, as a pastor friend of mine once said, there's a reason why it's there. It means that person has dedicated a significant amount of the latter part of his life to studying and practicing the faith of Jesus Christ in the best way he knows how, and has done so all so he can pass what he learns on to you through training and discipleship.

Even if he doesn't appear to have it all together, unless he's in known, serious sin, he deserves at least your respect and has earned the right through trials and testing to be thought of as knowing what he's talking about.