A Ramble about "I"

I have recently been rereading The Gospel of Buddha. Those who have been reading my Rambles for some time will know that I have a great deal of respect for the Buddha and his teachings while maintaining a somewhat respectful distance where he diverges from what Jesus taught. This time around as I was reading, it struck me that the foundation of the Buddha's teaching hit upon something very similar and equally foundational in what Jesus taught and the writings of St. Paul.

The Buddha received enlightenment when he realized that self, the atman (or soul, or psyche), was an illusion, and did not in reality exist. The human being is a combination of physical parts, memories, experiences, sensations, consciousness, etc. with no one element of that combination comprising an individual self or soul. The belief in the existence of a self independent of those parts (the “I”, the doer of one's actions and the thinker of one's thoughts) was a delusion which led to desires, attachments, and aversions which led to actions produced by those desires, attachments, and aversions, which led to the consequences of those actions, which ultimately led to suffering.

The Buddha came from a Hindu culture and worldview which accepted the transmigration of the atman, or reincarnation, as a fact of life. The Buddha came to the conclusion that because of this reincarnation, the suffering driven by the attachment to the existence of one's “self” became a cycle which was continuously repeated without end. Reincarnation was then a cycle of suffering. The goal of salvation in this understanding was to break the cycle of reincarnation. He came to understand that when you remove the illusion of an individual “I”, it removes the foundation upon which those attachments, aversions, desires, and ultimately suffering are all based thus removing the foundation for the cycle of reincarnation which continues the suffering. This cessation of suffering he called Nirvana, an uncreated and indestructible state of being. The destruction of the illusion of self was the path which led to Nirvana.

The problem with the Buddha's understanding is his own assertion that, because there is no atman, there is no transmigration of the atman, thus no reincarnation. He then maintains that what reincarnates is one's own karma (one's actions and the consequences of those actions), and one's mind. The atman cannot because the atman doesn't in reality exist. However, the conclusion of this logic must be that, once the combination of elements which comes together to form the person ceases to continue in combination, that person, as such, ceases to be. Death claims him or her permanently, though the consequences of his actions, words, and thoughts continue to play out long after he is gone.

The Church has always taught that human beings have a fatal flaw which is variously called “original sin” and a “sin nature.” I have previously called it a “disorder” and a “malfunction” of the psyche. The Church has also always taught that all human beings will be resurrected from the dead (not reincarnated) to face judgment by Christ at the end of days. This fatal flaw means that, regardless of how you explain it, all human beings will be condemned unless they are rescued from it. (See my previous Rambles concerning “Spiritual Autism” for a further discussion of this fatal flaw.)

If we understand our fatal flaw, or at least a part of it, as being this delusion of “I”, then we need salvation from the suffering caused by that fatal flaw. We need salvation from the fatal flaw itself; salvation from the suffering caused by the consequences of our fatal flaw; and salvation from death and the judgment against us which follows as an ultimate consequence of our fatal flaw.

Neither Jesus nor St. Paul go so far as to say the atman or “psyche” does not exist, or that there is no “doer of deeds” or “thinker of thoughts” as the Buddha maintains. They say that the psyche must be executed, made dead, and replaced with God in the person of Jesus Christ as the “doer of deeds” and “thinker of thoughts.” It is this death and exchange which effects the transformation of deification, by God's uncreated energy through faith in Jesus Christ working through lovingkindness.

“The person who has more affection for father or mother than for Me is not worthy of Me, and the person who has more affection for son or daughter than for Me is not worthy of Me; and the person who doesn't take his cross and follow behind Me isn't worthy of Me. The person who finds his psyche will destroy it, and the person having destroyed his psyche for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:37-39)

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If someone wishes to come behind Me, let him deny himself and pick up his cross and follow Me. Because whoever might wish to save his psyche will destroy it; yet whoever might destroy his psyche for my sake will find it.'” (Matthew 16:24-25)

“And He said to him, some person was making a big dinner, and he called many and sent his slave at the hour of the dinner to say to those having been called, 'Come, because it has already been prepared.' And all of them, one by one, started to excuse themselves. The first said to him, 'I bought a field and I have a necessity to leave and see it; I ask you, have me excused.' And another said, 'I bought five yoke of oxen andI am going to examine them; I ask you, have me excused.' And another said, 'I married a woman and because of this I am not able to come.' And the slave appearing reported to his owner these things. Then, being angry, the house-master said to his slave, 'Go out quickly into the wide roads and alleys of the city and lead in the destitute, crippled, blind, and lame here. And the slave said, 'Lord, what you ordered has happened, and there is still space.' And the owner said to the slave, 'Go out into the roads and fences and compel people to enter, so that my house will be full. Because I tell you that n one of those men who had been called will taste my dinner.'” (Luke 14:16-24)

Look at who the owner of the slave invited to the feast when those who were first invited refused to come. Those who were first invited excused themselves because of their attachments to possessions or relationships and placing those things as more important to the calling to the dinner. The man who made the dinner then drew in people whom he believed had no such attachments. Immediately after this parable, Jesus becomes far more explicit:

“If someone comes to me and doesn't hate his own father and mother and woman and children and brothers and sisters still even also his own psyche, he is not capable of being my disciple. The one who doesn't carry his own cross and come behind me isn't capable of being my disciple. … So then every person of you who doesn't renounce all the things of his own existence is not capable of being my disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27, 33)

“I was co-crucified with Christ; and 'I' no longer live, yet Christ lives within me; and what I now live within the meat, I live by the faith which is the Son of God's who loved me and surrendered Himself over me.” (Galatians 2:20)

“And may it absolutely not happen for me to brag except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom the world was crucified to me and I to the world.” (Galatians 6:14)

“Be mindful of this within you which is also in Christ Jesus, who, existing in the shape of God, didn't conclude being equal to God a prize to hold onto, but emptied Himself taking the shape of a slave; having come to be in the image of human beings; and being found in the outward appearance as a human being He humbled Himself having become obedient to the point of death, and the death of a cross at that.” (Philippians 2:5-8)

“Or are you ignorant that, as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus, we were baptized into His death? We were therefore entombed together with Him through the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was awakened from the dead through the glory of the Father so also we should walk by means of a newness of life. Because if we have become grown together by an image of His death, but also will we be of the resurrection; knowing this that our old human being was crucified together with Him, so that the body of the fatal flaw would be nullified, for us to no longer be slaves to the fatal flaw; because the one who died has been acquitted from the fatal flaw. And if we died together with Christ, we believe that we will also live together with Him, knowing that Christ being awakened from the dead is no longer mortal, death no longer has ownership of Him. Because what died, died to the fatal flaw once for all; and what lives, lives to God. Thus also you: factor yourselves to be dead indeed to the fatal flaw yet living to God in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 6:1-11)

(all translations mine)

St. Paul, in no uncertain terms, maintains that those who have received baptism into Jesus Christ have been joined to the death of Jesus Christ. Those who have been baptized into Jesus Christ have therefore died and the fatal flaw no longer maintains ownership over them. They receive a release from the fatal flaw through baptism because those who have died are thus acquitted from it. The psyche is thus removed from the equation through being joined to the death of Jesus Christ in baptism.

“Therefore then, brothers, we are debtors not to the meat to live according to the meat, because if you live according to the meat, you intend to die; yet if by the Spirit you make the practices of the body dead, you will live. Because as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Romans 8:12-14)

When the psyche has been removed from the equation through death, all that remains is the meat (being the body), and the Spirit (being the indwelling Holy Spirit). We then may choose to continue in the delusion of “I” through the obedience to the meat, or we may choose to continue in the truth of this death through obedience to the Spirit, thus ensuring our transformation and deification. This is the basis of St. Paul's theology of practice throughout his letters in the New Testament and is for him, and thus for us, a foundational teaching.

“If you died together with Christ from the elements of the world, why as living by means of the world are you submitting to rules and regulations? Don't cling to nor taste nor touch (all of which concern things which break down by consumption) according to the commands and teachings of human beings. … If then you were awakened together with Christ, seek the upwards things, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God; be mindful of the upwards things, not the things upon the ground. Because you died and your life has been hidden with Christ in God; when Christ your life is made visible, then you will also be made visible together with Him in glory.” (Colossians 2:20-21, 3:1-4)

Whether the individual self begins as real or not is irrelevant. The belief in a “self” is a real and serious impediment to discipleship and salvation. In Christ Jesus we believe that the self has died and is therefore no longer a factor, and we are to keep this as a factor in how we process our thoughts, words, actions and interactions with everything and everyone else. Self is the biggest impediment or obstacle to the process of one's salvation. In order for salvation to progress it must be removed from the equation. Either way, we must believe that it has been removed as a factor—belief implying the actions expressing that belief. As baptized Christians, we must believe in the death of our selves with Christ. Without moving past this, we can't really move forward towards the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. If we don't believe (producing the actions which mark that belief) we died with Him, we become lost in our own disorder or error, and our progress towards deification is stunted at best.