A Ramble About Going Renegade

For those who may have visited the website of the Old Catholic Diocese of the Holy Spirit and looked up the clergy list, you may have noticed that my name is no longer listed. You may have also noticed that I have changed my personal information to the left hand side of my blog, so that it no longer reads “Fr. Allen Bair+”, but just “Allen Bair.” I have yet to change my photo, because I don't have a good one to replace it with yet.

About a week ago I received word from the Presiding Bishop of the Diocese of the Holy Spirit that he was suspending my faculties as a priest, and that I would no longer be permitted to celebrate the Sacraments under his authority. He was concerned that I was presenting and conducting myself as a priest in an unworthy manner. Specifically, he disagreed with the mission which my wife and I have undertaken, and the manner in which we have undertaken it. I had been attempting to inform him, and receive input from him for months prior to our departure from Arizona, and he remained silent until we were a thousand miles into our journey and more than halfway to where we had hoped to meet with him. He ordered me to turn around, return to Arizona, get a job, and attend a liturgical church.

Had he instructed me in this way prior to our departure from Bullhead City, or at least indicated his disapproval of this journey, I could have and would have complied. But after two months of seeing God provide in many and marvelous ways, and seeing His support for our journey in this way, and after the amount of time, prayer, and money people have invested in it to see it succeed; after all this, I knew it was an order I could not obey. If God has supported us all the way through, wouldn't it be disobeying God to turn around and quit? Wouldn't it be turning my back on the people who have supported us, and have told me they have been inspired by our journey? I honor the Bishop as a true Bishop and a godly man, but I could not obey his order for fear of disobeying God. Bishops sit in the seat of the Apostles, but there are times even the successors of the Apostles can be wrong, even as the Apostles themselves could be wrong (see Galatians 2 where St. Paul rebuked St. Peter for his hypocrisy), and my vows are first and foremost to our Lord. So, as he no longer wished to be responsible for my actions as a priest, I resigned from the Diocese of the Holy Spirit.

So, I am now once again a “Wandering Priest” in every way. I originally took the title of my blog from the Latin phrase “Episcopus Vagans”, meaning a wandering or stray bishop. These are persons who have been consecrated bishops but do not preside over a geographical diocese of any kind. It is the term most often applied to Old Catholic Bishops by more “landed” Catholic and Orthodox Bishops because of how many hold valid consecrations which they consider illegal or improper and have no standing diocese or clergy (as a side note, the Orthodox are actually quite hypocritical in this; most of the Bishops of the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople are given symbolic rule over geographical dioceses in Asia Minor that no longer exist). Another less benign term used for such clergy is “renegade” because they operate outside of the authority or control of the established Churches.

So, whether I wanted to be or not, I am now a “renegade” priest. Someone might ask, how can I still be a priest if I have resigned, or am no longer under the authority of a Bishop. The reception of Holy Orders in Catholic Sacred Tradition is understood theologically in a very different way from the ordination or licensing of ministers and clergy in other Christian churches and denominations and has to do with the Orthodox Catholic concept of Grace as a part of the uncreated energies of God that flows through the Body of Christ.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church published by the Roman Catholic Church follows the ancient understand of the Grace of Holy Orders, in paragraphs 1581-1584 it reads:

1581 This sacrament configures the recipient to Christ by a special grace of the Holy Spirit, so that he may serve as Christ's instrument for his Church. By ordination one is enabled to act as a representative of Christ, Head of the Church, in his triple office of priest, prophet, and king.
1582 As in the case of Baptism and Confirmation this share in Christ's office is granted once for all. The sacrament of Holy Orders, like the other two, confers an indelible spiritual character and cannot be repeated or conferred temporarily.⁷⁴

1583 It is true that someone validly ordained can, for grave reasons, be discharged from the obligations and functions linked to ordination, or can be forbidden to exercise them; but he cannot become a layman again in the strict sense,⁷⁵ because the character imprinted by ordination is for ever. The vocation and mission received on the day of his ordination mark him permanently.

1584 Since it is ultimately Christ who acts and effects salvation through the ordained minister, the unworthiness of the latter does not prevent Christ from acting.⁷⁶ St. Augustine states this forcefully:

As for the proud minister, he is to be ranked with the devil. Christ's gift is not thereby profaned: what flows through him keeps its purity, and what passes through him remains dear and reaches the fertile earth. . . . The spiritual power of the sacrament is indeed comparable to light: those to be enlightened receive it in its purity, and if it should pass through defiled beings, it is not itself defiled.⁷⁷

(http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a6.htm#VII)

So, once someone has received the Grace of Holy Orders, it cannot be removed. Like baptism and confirmation, it is permanent. Once ordained a priest in the lines of Apostolic Succession, you can never truly be laicized. You can be “unlicensed” in the sense that you can be forbidden from serving in the parishes of your diocese, but you can never rejoin the laity any more than you can be “unbaptized.” Regardless of what you do, you are a priest forever, with all the responsibilities that go with it.

So, with this in mind, and after more than a week of reflection and soul searching, I have attempted to be as non-deceptive as possible without directly going into it during this time. Had I discussed it before this, it would have been out of hurt and anger, and that wouldn't have been edifying to anyone. My suspension came as a shock and a blow to me, and it is taking some time for me to work through it. My family and I would be wrong to quit and turn back, we must obey and follow where our Lord leads. At the same time, while I am still technically a priest, I cannot allow people to continue to believe that I am in good standing with and a part of the Diocese of the Holy Spirit. This would be dishonest. I am on my own. I have gone renegade. I believe that this is my only course of action in obedience to our Lord.

In going renegade, this frees my family and I from representing the Diocese, and it frees the Diocese from being responsible for me. As my wife and I have discussed it, as painful as it was, we realized that this was probably for the best for everyone concerned. It allows us to focus on our task at hand, and continue to work unconstrained with the Protestant, and non-denominational churches we have developed relationships with, and to develop our “Overflowing From Empty” children's home as an interdenominational Mission unfettered by the confines of the Diocesan rules and laws.

It is an irony that in order to obey our Lord I have been made to go renegade. It reminds me of the scene at the end of Pirate of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl where it is observed that sometimes an act of piracy is needed in order to do the right thing. I wish the Bishop and the Diocese of the Holy Spirit well, and I hope there can be some reconciliation in the future.