A Ramble About Releasing Your Burden

My family and I are big fans of the Stargate series. We have DVDs of the entire series of both SG-1 and Atlantis as well as all of the associated movies. For the most part, the storyline of the series is essentially the belief of every UFO alien conspiracy theorist that the US government is hiding the truth about their cooperation with good extraterrestrials in order to defeat bad extraterrestrials who are bent on conquering Earth. It also took the ancient alien theory and turned it into ten seasons (plus five more from Atlantis) of pretty good action-adventure Sci-Fi television.

One of the various story lines revolves around "ascended beings." Ancient aliens who, thousands of years prior, learned to transform their entire being into energy and live on another plane of existence. This theme and plot line is milked again and again throughout the series as the main characters struggle through the meaning of it, and some of them experience ascension themselves before deciding they still prefer flesh and blood.

One of the things which ascension requires, especially if you can't do it on your own naturally, is that you "release your burden." As it gets explained through several episodes, what this means is letting go of your guilt, shame, and all of the reasons why you believe that you are unworthy of ascension. It also entails letting go of everything to which you are attached in this life. In other words, in order to ascend, you have to let go of all of the anchors keeping you here in this life.

This has gone through my mind much over the last couple of years. As Christians, we also seek "ascension" in that we seek union with God by Grace through Jesus Christ. Orthodox Christian spiritual writers since the beginning have used terms like being "in-Godded" and "God became Man so that man might become God," and also being "Oned with God."

What obstructs this union in our own lives? Attachments to things here, principally. Attachments to people, attachments to things, attachments to ideas, emotions, and anything else which is not God. But there's another thing which obstructs it which I have realized that I struggle with.

I know in my own life, as I have meditated trying to find out this obstruction in my own life, that one of the biggest obstructions for me is my own guilt and feelings of shame. When I do something I believe I shouldn't be, or (more often) when I don't do something which I believe I should be that guilt begins to build inside of me, and then I feel depressed which then makes it less likely I'll do what I believe I should be and this downward spiral then continues. I go to God asking for forgiveness, but then deep inside me I feel like I don't deserve it and so either refuse to forgive myself, or refuse His forgiveness (which, as I think about it now, amounts to the same thing). Instead of releasing my burden, I refuse to let it go. The twisted irony of it is I want nothing more than to let it go.

Jesus Christ died for our sins, and because of His death and resurrection God says through the Apostle that if we confess our sins He will forgive them and cleanse us from every wrongdoing. This is one of the reasons why He died and rose from the dead. So, why am I reacting this way if I know this? I feel guilty about forgiving myself. I feel as though I'm justifying what I've done or not done. On and on the spiral like this goes. I become so obsessed with right and wrong, and with being right, that I lock myself into a cycle of condemnation which has nothing to do with God and everything to do with me. Normal reasoning would suggest that I would take His forgiveness and hang on with both

hands held tight. My response seems to be far from normal reasoning, but as I think about other people, I realize that it is far more common than just me.

There comes a point, if we want to get out of the depression and despair and move forward towards Him, when we have to release our burdens. Along with our other worldly attachments, we have to let go of our self-judgment and guilt and agree with His forgiveness and that because of Jesus Christ we are worthy of forgiveness. We must accept that God will forgive us through Jesus Christ and agree with Him that He does forgive us because of what Jesus has done. It is only then that we can move forward towards ascension and union with God.