A Ramble about Spiritual Autism

Developmental disorders are usually my wife's specialty. She has easily read enough literature on Autism, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, mental retardation, and other disorders to qualify for any number of degrees on the subject (at least in my humble opinion). Autism though is one with which I have had to become far more familiar and intimate with than I ever really wanted to.

Autism is defined "by a characteristic triad of symptoms: impairments in social interaction; impairments in communication; and restricted interests and repetitive behavior" (Wikipedia, Autism). It generally progresses from infancy into adulthood without remission, and can so severely handicap a person as to appear similar to mental retardation. A related disorder within the Autistic Spectrum is called Asperger's Syndrome, which continues the impairments in social interaction, communication, and obssessive behavior with limited interests; but differs with classical Autism in that linguistic and cognitive development are generally not impaired, but are actually and often enhanced. People with Asperger's Syndrome are often possessed of a high academic intelligence, especially in logical or mechanical operations, but are bereft of any natural social skills, empathy, body language, or emotional comprehension (depending on the severity and variance of the disorder with the individual person). A person with mild to moderate Asperger's Syndrome can often function on their own and are able to somewhat "fit in", but are socially incapable, and may even appear as rude or even arrogant without intending to. It is an extreme "left-brainedness".

Until recently, I was intimately familiar with Asperger's Syndrome first-hand. Through a series of neuro-feedback treatments, a generous friend who is also a psychiatrist was able to "jump start" those areas of my brain which were not functioning correctly. Two months ago was the first time I was able to process not only my own emotions but also the emotions and feelings of others in real time, without having to filter them through the logical reasoning part of my brain. I remember that, prior to this treatment, I was effectively isolated and alone no matter how many people surrounded me. All of my attempts at understanding and relating to people were absolute failures. I was, essentially, emotionally locked into my own head with no means of escape, no means of freedom. The only way I could interact somewhat normally was by "role playing" various social situations in my own head and effectively playing them back when those situations arose. The older I became, the better I got at it; but it still wasn't natural or normal, and it was exhausting for me, and if I came into a situation for which I had no information on how to react... forget about it. My brain couldn't handle it. I hope you can imagine my gratitude to this man who has freed me from that social and relational blindness.

As I have reflected over the years since learning about what my condition actually was (Asperger's wasn't accepted among US psychiatrists until 1994, I was born in '75), there is a parallel with the natural spiritual state of humanity. We are all suffering from a kind of spiritual autism or spiritual Asperger's syndrome.

I am speaking of course of what is referred to in theological circles as the "sin nature", but the truth is that I don't like the word "sin" in describing it. First, because the word "sin" in English has been so abused and misused, and tainted with moral meaning, that it really doesn't describe the problem. The word used in the Greek text of the New Testament is "hamartia". Literally, it means "disorder, malfunction, error, or mistake." Hamartia in Greek literature doesn't generally refer to a moral failing as such, but rather refers to a fatal flaw in the psyche of human beings which causes them to commit the wrongs which they try so desperately to avoid. A great example of this is the Greek play, Oedipus Rex, where King Oedipus, in his quest to morally avoid the atrocity his is prophesied to commit by killing his father and marrying his mother, falls into the trap of commiting it anyway.

I believe what humanity has is much like autism. It is a genetically passed, spiritual developmental disorder. People are able to function cognitively quite highly, but when it comes to spiritually relating to God and to others naturally in real time, like myself, they have to role play it for the situation first, and then have to call it back up when that potential situation arises. They cannot relate spiritually or are deficient to various degrees in spiritual social skills. My opinion is that one of the ways we role play in order to cope spiritually is by the creation of moral codes of conduct. What is actually called for is being able to empathize with, have compassion on, and be able to relate to the other person on the spiritual level, and we can't do that by nature, so like me, human beings have to fake it by nature, and process the results through their own material and physical filters for use in later similar situations.

God, in His mercy, is like a parent with an autistic child when it comes to human beings. He is wholly and totally engaged with drawing that child out of their spiritually relational blindness. He wants that child to develop their communication skills with Him. He wants that child to recognize His presence, and He rejoices with any small progress which that child makes, and works even harder at it when they regress. The goal of God is normal communication with Him and with others, and it is fighting an uphill battle against a devastating disorder.

As I consider this in my own life, reaching past the confines of my physical senses in order to recognize Him and experience Him is tremendously difficult. My own psyche is constantly bombarding me with physical sensory information which can't comprehend anything but these three dimensions. I think this is why God so often works within these three dimensions, using imagery and analogies from our own life experiences to help us to recognize Him and get to know Him.

Those of us who are baptized into Christ Jesus and His death are possessed of the Holy Spirit, and as such He works tirelessly within us, I suppose, much like the treatments which my friend gave me, to correct the disorder and get us to exercise our spiritual relational skills as far as we are able. But we must cooperate with His treatment, much like I had to cooperate with my friend's, and it is often frustrating and difficult as we are asked to trust things which we cannot comprehend.

The end result is this, if we cooperate with the Holy Spirit and progress we will see progress and will experience our Father first hand in real time. If we don't, or don't even begin the process by faith in Jesus Christ, then we continue in our spiritual autism, and eventually, like a severely autistic person who isn't responding to treatment or their parent's absolute devotion, we will have to be placed in a facility where we can do no harm to ourselves or to others, and remain locked in the suffering of our own desires, illusions, and fears. This isn't His desired outcome at all, and He wants us to be freed from it. Are we willing to cooperate with His treatments?