"TEACHER!!!"

 There are few words, or even whole paragraphs which could describe how the disciples were feeling that Sunday evening. They couldn't make up their mind if Mary the Magdalene had snapped or not. Peter, John, His mother, and one other besides her had seen the empty tomb. They had brought back the empty grave cloth with the strange ghostly image on it. They had wanted to hope, but so far,
     Mary had been the only one to have seen Him. And to be honest, she had burst into the house looking like she had lost her mind completely when she had told them. Her face, and her undone veil were soaked and streaked with tears. Her eyes were wild, but animated and so full of joy... No, that's not quite the right word. Excitement, shock, looking as though she could take on the entire Roman legion by herself and didn't care if she shouted it from Mt. Tzyon itself; these are what filled her eyes and her face as her whole body shouted at us before she did, "He's alive!" She left almost as quickly to find the others who hadn't returned to the house after His arrest and to tell them. Her whole demeanor and disposition had changed from when she had left that morning. She hadn't cared whether she was caught by the Roman soldiers. She hadn't cared if she had gotten them executed with her plan. She hadn't cared if she herself died, because in a way, she already had when He did. It was not the same woman who went out with the proper embalming spices that Sunday morning who returned. This woman would have shouted that she had seen the Teacher alive in the face of the High Priests, the Prefect, and even Caesar himself.
     The whole household of disciples was disturbed and unmoored since she had come in. They remembered what He had said, that He would rise after He was murdered. But they were too scared to hope. They hadn't seen Him themselves. It was just too painful, and they didn't want to be given that hope only to have it ripped away from them again. Yet there was His empty burial shroud, fighting to do just that. There was Mary the Magdalene, screaming it at them. Literally.
     And then there He was. Just as they were hearing from Cleopas about how the two of them had just walked and talked with Him for miles. They had left early that morning for Cleopas' house in Emmaus-Nicopolis, easily a half day's journey on foot from Jerusalem. The rest of the disciples hadn't expected to see them again that day. They had to have set out to return to Jerusalem less than an hour after arriving in Emmaus. They too had that same animated, excited, awestruck look in their eyes that they had seen in Mary's.
     "Epistata!" (Teacher!) Someone screamed in her native Greek even as they were debating, arguing past their fear of hope. And then all eyes turned to see what she was seeing, what her eyes, in shock, were registering and she didn't know or even care that she was holding her breath. She couldn't speak another word. She was frozen where she was. She couldn't even blink as that same easy smile and eyes the color of the sea returned her gaze lovingly as only He could.
     "Sh'lama Allawkhoun." He greeted them in Aramaic, His hands up in in a gentle gesture meant to calm them all down.
     Time just seemed to stop. There was no sensing it in that moment. There was no sensing anything else as some, like her, remained frozen to where they stood. Others rushed towards Him. Kefa, Peter, had been one of those latter. John had been one of the former, tears streaming down his face as he saw his best friend since childhood, whom he had watched bleed out and die two days before, and whom he had helped place on a cold stone slab in a tomb, standing whole and alive in front of him.
     "Sh'lama Allawkoun, my brothers." He repeated Himself in Aramaic. "It's Me, don't be afraid."
     And it was, from the absolute kindness and love in His eyes, to the good humored smile on his lips, from His chestnut colored hair, to His still somewhat thin frame. The marks from His torture and execution were still there on His head, and in the wrists of His outstretched hands. She hadn't seen it, but she had been told by those who had what had transpired.
     Here He was. Yeshua, her Teacher who meant everything to her, was alive right in front of her, His apostles, His other disciples, their children, and... his own mother.
     "Bari?" She asked as her hands clapped to her mouth and the sobbing began. She too had watched Him die, and had helped bury Him. She couldn't say any more.
     "Yes, Emi. It's Me."
     Slowly, and then quickly, she rushed towards her son and gripped Him so fiercely one might have thought He would break. But there was a strength to Him now, an energy surrounding Him that she doubted anything in the skies or on the ground or under it could break. It was an energy that had defeated Hades himself, and led him as a prisoner of war in triumph. It was an energy even the Olympian gods couldn't overpower or defeat. They were powerless to the Being who now stood among them trying to calm them all down in the face of something that shook heaven and earth.
     Yeshua had risen from the dead. The Teacher was alive!
     There are no real words to describe what was felt. And those feelings wouldn't be forgotten into the ages of ages. How does a soul forget this? The Teacher is alive!

A Ramble About Ahsoka Tano

     I watched the trailer for the new "Ahsoka" show announced the other day. It looks like it will be fun, and a good addition to the growing "Mandoverse" which Disney+ and Lucasfilm has been building. For those who haven't seen anything more of Star Wars than the movies, Ahsoka Tano was introduced as Anakin Skywalker's padawan learner in the "Clone Wars" animated series. She was a major character throughout the series, and eventually was included in the "Rebels" animated series as well. After this she appeared in live action in "The Mandolorian" and "The Book of Boba Fett."
     Ahsoka grew up in the Jedi Temple, having been brought there when she was just a toddler. She was very much a part of the old Jedi Order, and believed in it and its goodness for a large part of her early life. This extended and continued through her apprenticeship with Anakin Skywalker until an incident which happened when she was about seventeen or eighteen. At that time, she was framed for a crime which she didn't commit. Instead of believing her, and supporting her, the Jedi Council, including her master, Anakin, turned on her. After a lengthy and successful quest to prove her innocence and find the real perpetrator, the Council had apologetically not only offered to welcome her back, but had decided that the ordeal would count as her Jedi Trial, and they would grant her the rank of Knight.
     Ahsoka declined both. The experienced had disillusioned her against the Jedi Order so badly, that she didn't want to be a part of it any more. She had been a faithful believer in the Jedi Code, the Light side of the Force, and the rightness of the Jedi way. But when everything went sideways, the Order abandoned her out of hand. The Order did, but not the Force.
     Ahsoka went through a very difficult period of trying to figure out who she was without the Jedi, and what path she would follow now that she was on her own for the first time in her life. Circumstances brought her back into the orbit of the Jedi and her old master, and just as it appeared she might be reconciled with them, Order 66 happened, and her master didn't just walk away from the Jedi, he actively went to war against them. And once more, Ahsoka found herself on her own, her adopted family completely gone.
     Ahsoka is a fascinating character, because through her trials and struggles, and even because of her disillusionment and letting go of the Jedi order, she took the opposite path of her master, Anakin. While he became virtually the embodiment of the Dark Side of the Force as Darth Vader, she became virtually the embodiment of the Light Side. She came to be the ideal for what a Jedi should have been, even as she proclaimed in no uncertain terms, "I am no Jedi," still wanting nothing to do with the organization and religious order that, from her point of view, had betrayed and abandoned her. In rejecting the Jedi, but pursuing and understanding the Force apart from its rigid ideology, structures, and the politics which had infested it, she became more a Jedi than virtually any other before her.
     And this is what makes her a fascinating subject because of the example she might pose for Christians who find themselves feeling abandoned or betrayed by their churches, church leaders, and denominations. As Luke Skywalker declared in "The Last Jedi," "The Force doesn't belong to either the Jedi or the Sith." This was a truth which the Jedi Order had forgotten, believing that they were the sole legitimate arbiters or gatekeepers to what the Force was all about. In the same way, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and even God the Father don't belong to any one denomination or church, or even to any of them at all. God remains God whether one is a part of a church congregation or not. The Holy Spirit remains who He is whether you are in a church or Sundays or not. Jesus Christ remains Jesus Christ, and it is still true that He died and rose again for the whole world whether you are a church member or not. The churches only have the earthly power to excommunicate you from their services and sacraments. They don't have the power to deny you the Holy Spirit if you so seek Him, any more than rejecting the Jedi Order cut Ahsoka off from the Force. As it is written, "He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
      The only person who can and will deny the Holy Spirit to you, is you. The only person who can keep you from following Jesus Christ, and submitting to the control of the Spirit of Christ, is you. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to keep you under the control of the church systems in place. And frequently, those church systems are terrified of what someone actually fully submitted to the Spirit of Christ can and will do, and will say and do what they need to in order to suppress them. The greatest opponents of the Saints of old were frequently the religious leadership itself. St. Patrick was a great example of this.
      If, for whatever reason, you have found yourself on the outside of the church's doors and walls, if you have found yourself ostracized from the church for whatever reason, remember Ahsoka Tano, Saint Patrick, and many of the others who found themselves on the receiving end of their religious order's hostility, and remember that religious order doesn't own God. God owns them, you, me, and every created thing which exists. He is not at their beck and call. He doesn't have to do what they say. And He loves you beyond all reason, thought, and senses.

The Worst 60 Hours of the Disciples' Lives

      From the time Jesus was arrested, to the time He appeared to them in the house after the resurrection were the most terrifying 60 hours, give or take, in His disciples lives. Most of them did not even see the crucifixion itself because they were too scared and devastated to be there. Imagine the trauma they were going through of having their Teacher arrested, and then sentenced to crucifixion.
     Now imagine the trauma John, His best friend and cousin, Mary His mother, and Mary the Magdalene who insisted on caring for Him personally were going through watching all of it unfold. They didn't know in that moment that the resurrection was coming. He had told them, yes. But it's clear that in all the pain this bit of information was forgotten, or disbelieved in the face of bloody wood and nails. It's hard to believe in resurrection when a lifeless, blooded corpse is staring at you, and you have to remove it from its mounts, embalm it and get it into the tomb with the sun setting in less than an hour.
     Thomas was nowhere to be found for days afterwards, he was so devastated. And when he was found and brought home after the resurrection, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. He was too scared to hope, because hope died for him that past Thursday night when his Teacher was arrested.
     Understand the brokenness of the disciples once Jesus was arrested.
     It's important to not try to sugarcoat or to whitewash what happened on April 3rd, 0033 C.E. We're so used to seeing depictions of the crucifixion that we're desensitized to it. It was traumatizing for those who loved Him who stood by and watched it unfold. It was a rollercoaster from bad to worse as the back and forth played out between Pilate and the High Priests. It literally shook the ground and damaged the largest and most important building in the city. It felt like the world had ended and nothing else mattered when the news was delivered to those hiding in the house that He had been crucified, and then that He had died. "Where do we go now?" "What do we do?" These were questions that, though appropriate couldn't even form in their minds. They had been a found family for three years, and were closer to each other than to their own blood relations. They had given up jobs, family members, property, and their entire former lives and had little if anything left of the world to return to. And the entire reason for this had just died on a cross.
     "Devastated" doesn't quite cover it.
     They had seen Him do the impossible. It had been terrifying and awesome to see Him walking on the water during a raging storm, in total command of it. They had seen Him literally call the dead from the tomb. They had seen Him face down a mob of pharisees armed with stones and turn them all away with just His words.
     And He was dead.
     How was He dead? How was that even possible? They knew He wasn't physically strong. They had even worried about it. It was a contradiction to what they had seen Him do, but it was the reality that had lived with and accepted.
     He was dead.
     The news didn't seem real until His mother, John, Mary the Magdalene and the two others had returned from quickly getting Him into the tomb. The looks on their faces confirmed their worst possible fears. That it was true.
     He was dead.
     And in a way, so were they. Everything they had become had died with Him, and there was nothing left for them but to sit, hide, and do nothing as Shabbat fell upon them like a heavy stone sealing them into a tomb as well.

If You Don't Get Anything Else About Following Jesus Christ, Get This

“Yet we know that the Torah is good, if someone uses it legitimately, knowing this, that the Torah isn’t laid down for a right person, yet for the lawless and unrestrained, the irreligious and erring, unholy and commonly profane, patricidals and matricidals, homicidals, male whores, men who violate boys, slavers, liars, those who take false oaths, and if anything different which lies against healthy teaching in line with the Gospel of the glory of the happy God, which I am entrusted with.” - 1 Timothy 1:8-11

“Yet if you are led with the Spirit [of Christ], you are not subject to the Torah. … Yet the fruit of the Spirit [of Christ] is love, joy, peace, endurance, loving kindness, goodness, trust, courtesy, self-control; there isn’t a Torah against such things as these.” - Galatians 5:18, 22-23

“Don’t be obligated to anyone at all if not to love one another; because the person loving the other different person has fulfilled the Torah. Because the ‘Don’t cheat on your spouse, don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t crave,’ and if any other different command, it is summed up with this message, ‘You will love the person next to you like yourself.’ The love for the person next to you doesn’t cause harm; love then is the total fulfillment of the Torah.” - Romans 13:8-10

The Torah, or any law for that matter, was and is meant to restrain behavior, but it cannot change behavior. It can only prescribe punishment for harmful behavior, it cannot produce beneficial or loving behavior. It can tell you what is expected, it cannot make it happen.
     If a person is led by or controlled by the Spirit of Christ, his or her behavior will be governed first by love, because this is the very core of who God is. If that person’s behavior is governed by love, then all rules, regulations, and laws are suddenly rendered a moot point because there is no harmful behavior to restrain. The governance of the Torah, or any law for that matter, ends when it is the love of God being manifested and practiced through the person’s behaviors and words.
     This is why those who demand that Christians keep the Torah, rules, codes, creeds, or even just the Ten Commandments in order to be “holy” in addition to (an often minimized) love are in such ridiculous and dangerous error. If a person remains squarely manifesting the love of God within and through himself or herself, then they will do no harm to another. They will neither kill, nor steal, nor lie, nor cheat on their spouses, nor break their oaths, nor any other harmful behavior. Those who claim that God is holy above all, even love, do not understand what “holy” means, because to be love is also to be holy. To be and practice love, the core nature of God, is to also be just, merciful, compassionate, and to practice the highest righteousness possible. If a person is manifesting love, manifesting the very nature and presence of God, then no law, no rule, and no Torah can apply to him or her. They simply have no authority over love.
     If you are struggling with a particular “sin,” a particular violation of a moral or religious rule, then quit focusing on trying not to break that rule (because, honestly, that only makes it worse) and focus instead on love. Focus on loving God, loving the person next to you, and loving those who hate you. Focus on surrendering to the Spirit of Christ and allowing and encouraging His love and presence to flow through you. Forget about rules, commandments, laws, or codes, and just focus on loving the other person, caring about them, being compassionate and kind towards them. The “sin” you keep struggling with will likely resolve itself, without the rule against it.
     If you don’t learn or get anything else about what it means to follow Jesus Christ, get this: love God, and love the other person like you love yourself. In loving God, we love the other person, and in loving the other person, we love God.

"I Have Not Loved"

 "I confess to you Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that... I have not loved you with my whole heart. I have not loved my neighbor as myself. I am truly sorry, and I humbly repent."
     I was just reflecting on these words from the confessional prayer/liturgy I recite in the mornings. This is what our mistakes, our errors, and our offenses boil down to, "I have not loved..." This is where we must recognize our flaw, our error, and turn around from it, "I have not loved." Not in any one specific moment of anger, fear, or selfishness, but this thing only, this thing which violates the greatest commandments and teachings of Jesus Christ, and the very heart and nature of the God who is Love, "I have not loved."
     There is no fear with love, and love completes and fulfills every law, rule, and regulation. Rather than focusing on any one particular failing, and one particular struggle, it is this one simple thing which must be focused on, nurtured, and protected at all costs within our lives, that we love God, that we love one another, that we love the person next to us, and that we love those who hate us. Rather than focusing on one's own struggle with anger, focus on loving the object of that anger. Rather than focusing on one's struggle with pornography, imagine the model as your sister or daughter, and love that person for who she is. Rather than focusing on one's struggle with addiction, focus on loving just one other person next to you no matter who it is. Start with one person, and then bring one more person into your focus of love. And then another.
     "I have not loved," is really the source and root of all of our human evils and problems, and it is this, first and foremost, which is what must be turned around from.

About the Canaanites and the Orders for their Destruction

     Today, I felt like I needed to write about something in the Scriptures which is, at best, difficult to understand and reconcile with a God who is love. I am speaking of the invasion of Canaan and the orders by God to totally destroy the Canaanites, that is, for the people of Israel to commit genocide against the Canaanite tribes and nations; as it is written, every man, woman, and child. Why would a God who is pure love order what is, from our perspective, such a horrific thing? To understand this, there are several things someone needs to know about the Canaanites and the world of the middle of the mid second millennium B.C.E.
     The ancient Near East of around 1500 B.C.E. was different than it is today. There were two or three major powers which dominated the region, the Egyptians from North Eastern Africa, the Minoans from Crete and the Aegean, and the Hittites from Asia Minor. But it is the Minoans more than anyone who had the most cultural impact on the coastal territory the Bible calls Canaan.
     In Hebrew, the island of Crete was called Kaftor, and its people, the Kaftorim. In Egyptian, Crete and its civilization were called “Kefchu.” The Kaftorim were a heavily sea faring people, and they established colonies and extended their power through this colonization across the Mediterranean. The Greek myth of Theseus and the Minotaur reflects Kaftor’s domination over the coastal Greek Mycenaean cities and towns, and its fairly well established that the ancient Philistines, also referred to as Kaftorim in the Hebrew Scriptures, also started as colonies from Kaftor and carrying their culture, civilization, and practices with them. Kaftor’s relationship with Egypt was marked both by trade and by warfare at different periods of time.
     Part of Kaftor’s religious practices, as well as the Canaanites’ religious practices, had to do with child sacrifice. There is good archaeological evidence to support this, as well as mention of it from the record of the Scriptures. What is less well known, is that in the ancient Near East, a sacrifice wasn’t considered complete until it was eaten from. There is evidence from Minoan and Canaanite digs of children’s bones and remains which had been eaten from. Another part of their religious practices had to do with priestesses offering themselves sexually to bulls (though this would be practiced in Egypt as well). Aside from this, the Kaftorim became exceedingly militarily aggressive, and there are records of “sea peoples” raiding coastal towns and cities during the period of their operations. Further, the Canaanites, heavily influenced by Kaftorim culture, were known for molesting and even raping travelers that passed through the lands they controlled by the mid second millenium. They saw themselves as superior and everyone else as cattle.
     It was around 1500 B.C.E. that the sacred Minoan island of Thera (Santorini) exploded as a near supervolcano, effectively destroying Kaftor’s empire from its very head and heart. The effects of this eruption were felt as far away as Egypt on the other side of the Mediterranean, and there is a good argument for its effects being used to create the plagues which fell upon Egypt during the Exodus. Forty years later, around 1540 or 1550 B.C.E. The people of Israel invaded Canaan with orders to destroy every last remnant of the Canaanite culture and civilization, and in so doing, they would be erasing every last living trace of the Minoan civilization in the region as well.
     What does God do when an entire civilization, an entire group of souls, have gone so far from simple love and kindness that they will mistreat themselves, each other, and everyone else as only existing for their abuse and amusement? What does God do when even their young are not spared, and are either burned alive and eaten, or raised to be just as much of a monster as their elders? What does a God who is love do when such a civilization becomes a threat to the well being, both spiritually and physically, to every other people and civilization in the region? He removes their immortal souls from Earth to where they can no longer do any harm or harm others, and begins to work on their rehabilitation if possible. God is love, patience, and mercy. But within the stream of time, there comes a point where action must be taken out of love for the souls of both those causing harm and being harmed. And sometimes, that means removing those souls from the physical world. Not destroying those souls, but just removing them.
     No one said God enjoys doing this, but if there is to be any hope of redeeming and rehabilitating such souls, sometimes they have to be pulled out of the context they are in altogether and the “reset” button hit for them. This answer on this subject may not satisfy everyone or anyone for that matter, but it is in character for the God whom the Holy Scriptures say is love.

You have to Opt Out, not Opt In

 This came up again in a recent conversation I had. It seemed important to go over it again.
You have to opt out, not opt in.
     That is, there is only one thing which Jesus Christ Himself says won't be forgiven, and that's the Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Specifically, deliberately rejecting the testimony of the Holy Spirit, the things clearly performed by the Holy Spirit which demonstrated who Jesus Christ is. Jesus said, "Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven human beings, but the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven..." Every sin... except one. That includes the sin of ignorance. God forgives freely, but if someone knowingly and deliberately rejects Him, knowingly works against Him like the Pharisees were doing, then He's not going to force that person to be where they don't want to be, experiencing His presence. As John wrote, they preferred the darkness to the light, because their actions were deranged.
     No one can let go of something they're not holding onto. In this case, it is the person deliberately rejecting the testimony of the Holy Spirit about Jesus Christ who is holding on to something, not God. They are holding on to their own pride, clinging to what they like or want, and so on. They are clinging to the darkness not wanting to experience His love, mercy, peace, and presence. He can't let go of this because it's not His to let go of. They must let go of it, and turn back to Him. The person who deliberately and knowingly shuts their eyes to the light will remain in the darkness because they voluntarily choose to be there.
     Will they stay there forever? That really depends on that particular soul’s choices. Are some so hardened that they refuse to let go? That they refuse to be forgiven? I don’t know. But I do know that it’s not for lack of God’s love and mercy towards them. It’s not because God refuses to let it go. That’s not who He is.
     Souls are tossed into the outer darkness because they choose to be there, that is, because they choose their own derangement over the pure love and mercy that is Yahweh.