The Most Important Diploma on My Wall

 I was going through our "important papers bag" a few days ago looking for something completely different when I ran across the worn, smudged, thirty three and a half year old diploma I hadn't paid attention to since I was about sixteen or so. It was February of 1992, and I was in my junior year of high school and a Police Explorer with the Westminster Police Department in Orange County, California. 

     That weekend, as part of the Police Explorer program, I attended the Orange County Law Enforcement Explorer Academy starting on the Friday evening and ending on the Monday afternoon. Put simply, if you were to take all two or three months of a regular Police Academy and role it into a four day boot camp for teenagers with very little sleep, that was what we signed up for. This wasn't a fun weekend camp. There were a couple hundred of us from many different Departments there. From the word go, our tactical officers were screaming in our faces, forcing pushups, and being as unpleasant as possible trying to get us to quit. I still remember there was one guy standing next to me who quit within five minutes. There were several others who followed suit. Their objective was to get at least one Explorer to quit every day.

     At the time, I was a sixteen year old kid with ADHD and undiagnosed ASD and attachment disorder that had quit almost everything that he had started after it got hard. Everyone knew that too. I remember I only lasted a week on the Freshman Football team at Bolsa Grande High School. My track record wasn't great. So for me, for who I was at the time, that weekend was hell and I felt it keenly. Between the constant yelling and the constant physical exercise and running (I still had asthma and couldn't keep up running to save my life), it was the hardest thing I'd ever attempted in my life.

     If I were to be honest, I wanted to quit within the first five minutes too. I didn't. I was determined to get through it and not just quit. They could kick me out, they could fail me, but I refused to quit, and it was the first time in my life that I made that choice. In order to do that, I kept telling myself, "I just want to see what happens next." And then that next thing would happen, and I would tell myself again, "I just want to see what happens next." I also told myself, to keep myself from smiling (because we would be punished for smiling at our tactical officers), "I'm in hell and that's all there is to it" as well as "Do everything you're told by the tac without question." Every five minutes I would tell myself these things for the next four days.

     We went through police procedure classes, PT, meals, and late night watch duty (we even took the oath to protect and defend the constitution), and then suddenly it was Monday, and somehow I had gained enough points to graduate (my classroom scores making up for my abysmal PT scores). I walked the stage in full uniform with my badge, and received my diploma with the other Explorer graduates.

     For me, it wasn't about being a Police Explorer. I would leave the Police Explorer program the following summer in order to become more involved in my church and pursue the career track I felt called to. For me, it was the first time I had finished something and not quit because it was too hard. I hadn't taken the easy way out. No one made accommodations for me. No one gave me a pass. I either kept up and worked as hard as everyone else or I was out. This four day academy taught me how to keep going even when things seemed too hard or nearly impossible for my AuDHD self.

     The lessons I learned from that weekend stayed with me as I then went on to pursue a career in ministry and attended Bible School in Wisconsin. Within months if not weeks of the semester starting I was running afoul of the deans for behaviors that I didn't even know were wrong or out of place. This particular Bible School put a heavy emphasis on conformity of both theology and behavior, and they just didn't know what to do with me. I took the lessons I learned from Explorer Academy and applied them here too, making plenty of mistakes, socially and behaviorally as I sought to play catch up and at least try to fit in and "pretend" to be a mature, relatively normal young adult; doing whatever I had to in order to keep going and not give up as well as not be told to leave. It was a rough two years, but that December of 1995, once again, I walked the stage and received my diploma as a graduate.

     The lessons I learned that one weekend in February of 1992 to not give up and keep going stayed with me for the rest of my life.

     Thinking it through, I decided to frame and hang this diploma next to my others on the wall of our library at home; the first time I ever thought to. I realized that if it hadn't been for this diploma, I probably wouldn't have earned the others that it now hangs next to.

No, the Church Fathers Did Not Teach the Pre-Tribulation Rapture

In response to the claims that the pre-tribulation rapture can be traced back to the second or third century:

Did some digging on your claims. As I suspected, your information is based on citations taken out of context, mistranslated, or outright fabricated. The writings of the Pre-Nicene fathers were a required study for me during my seminary courses as I prepared for the priesthood. I knew something wasn’t right when you listed of Irenaeus and Cyprian. I’d heard of the Ephraim citation, but have never been able to find a copy of the source text to read for myself. Regardless, Ephraim was very much an Orthodox Catholic Priest

Irenaeus Book V, Chapter 29 - “1. In the previous books I have set forth the causes for which God permitted these things to be made, and have pointed out that all such have been created for the benefit of that human nature which is saved, ripening for immortality that which is [possessed] of its own free will and its own power, and preparing and rendering it more adapted for eternal subjection to God. And therefore the creation is suited to [the wants of] man; for man was not made for its sake, but creation for the sake of man. Those nations however, who did not of themselves raise up their eyes unto heaven, nor returned thanks to their Maker, nor wished to behold the light of truth, but who were like blind mice concealed in the depths of ignorance, the word justly reckons as waste water from a sink, and as the turning-weight of a balance — in fact, as nothing; Isaiah 40:15 so far useful and serviceable to the just, as stubble conduces towards the growth of the wheat, and its straw, by means of combustion, serves for working gold. And therefore, when in the end the Church shall be suddenly caught up from this, it is said, There shall be tribulation such as has not been since the beginning, neither shall be. Matthew 24:21 For this is the last contest of the righteous, in which, when they overcome they are crowned with incorruption.” - Irenaeus is clearly speaking of the resurrection when both dead and living will be transformed. In your parlence, a “post-tribulation” rapture. Not a pre-trib.

Cyprian Epistle 63 and Treatise 4 – The first writing is about a specific Christian, and Christians in general who fall away. The second is a treatise on the Lord’s Prayer. There is nothing in his writings describing an escape from the tribulation of the last days, nor two comings of Christ.

Both of the above texts are available for free at newadvent.org

St. Ephraim of Nisibis “On the Last Times, the Antichrist, and the End of the World”, also known as the “Apocalypse of Pseudo-Ephraem” – I’m afraid I can’t find any actual English translations of this work except as produced by organizations with a vested interest in promoting a pre-tribulation rapture. This being said, most scholars believe this work wasn’t actually written by St. Ephraim himself, but a “pseudo-Ephraim” centuries after, and there are serious questions by scholars about the translations being made available by those aforementioned organizations as being deliberately mistranslated to reflect a pre-trib rapture. I know for a fact that St. Ephraim originally only wrote in Syriac, his native tongue. Those Latin and Greek texts which exist are either translations or forgeries written long after St. Ephraim’s death. The text in question is currently dated to the seventh century. According to the Wikipedia article on this text,

A passage from the Latin version of the text has been used to argue that a pretribulational rapture view existed in the early church. This passage from the Latin version says:

"All the saints and elect of God are gathered together before the tribulation, which is to come, and are taken to the Lord, in order that they may not see."[6]

However, the Syriac version implies that it is death that will cause some to avoid the tribulation. The Syriac version says:

"Pronouncing the good fortune of the deceased Who had avoided the calamity: 'Blessed are you for you were borne away (to the grave) And hence you escaped from the afflictions!"

Additionally, there are several passages even in the Latin version that imply Christians will not escape the tribulation. For example:

"In those days [during the tribulation] people shall not be buried, neither Christian, nor heretic, neither Jew, nor pagan, because of fear and dread there is not one who buries them; because all people, while they are fleeing, ignore them."

"Then, when this inevitability has overwhelmed all people, just and unjust, the just, so that they may be found good by their Lord; and indeed the unjust, so that they may be damned forever with their author the Devil."

Based on this evidence, I maintain that the teaching of the pre-tribulation rapture is a modern invention at the very least by Darby, if not by Margaret MacDonald, and was never taught in the ancient church.

The Assassination of Charlie Kirk

 "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who hunt you, and pray for those who abuse you." "Don't give back evil for evil." "If anyone hits you on one cheek, let him hit the other one also."

     Yesterday, Charlie Kirk was assassinated. So far, I haven't heard if they caught the person or who it was. I only know of him from what I've heard through certain podcasts. I didn't really know much about him apart from them. I imagine that I'm like most people these days with regards to this. From what I've heard, he's a man with whom I would have likely disagreed on many points. As I understand it, he said a lot of things which hurt a lot of people with whom he disagreed. He was also a major supporter of Donald Trump, something of which I've made no secret where my opinion is concerned. It is likely this person would have considered me and people who hold similar opinions to me "the enemy."

     Doing violence against him was not what Jesus taught, no matter what he said or did. Jesus, and the entire New Testament, explicitly teaches the opposite of doing violence to those who hate you, disagree with you, and count themselves your enemies. Murder is a malfunctioning flesh reaction born from anger/aggression which itself is a response to fear or panic. It's trying to destroy that which you feel threatened by. Jesus taught as much by example on this subject as by words when He let them torture Him, and He let them crucify Him until He died; and even in the middle of it, He forgave those doing it and begged His Father to forgive them too. It would have only taken one word from Him, and they would have withered like the fruitless fig tree did. Jesus taught to love your enemies, and He practiced what He taught.

     Murdering Charlie Kirk, or anyone by whom you feel threatened, accomplishes nothing good and more harm to the murderer's cause than he ever intended. A martyr has been made today, and the backlash will likely be far more intense than anyone realizes. It will likely produce more violence against those with whom the murderer presumably identifies, and not less. It gives an excuse for those on Charlie Kirk's side of things to seek and exact revenge and feel justified in so doing. By this one action, this shooter has harmed potentially thousands if not millions of people with whom he likely at least sympathized.

     Right now, somewhere in Eternity, there are two possible outcomes for Charlie Kirk. Either He's met Jesus and is going through a life review right now seeing everything he's ever done from the perspective of the other people affected, or he's enveloped in darkness and possible torment until he cries out for help, and then he'll go through the life review. Either way, he will eventually come to his senses, as will we all, and embrace the all consuming Love that is God, and be embraced by Him. 

      In this life though, he leaves behind a grieving wife, son, and daughter, not to mention other family members and friends. The shooter has not just harmed Charlie Kirk, he has harmed all of these people as well. In addition are all those who followed and listened to Charlie Kirk, and thought well of him. They are now grieving too. The shooter has harmed them as well. By this one calculated action, this shooter has harmed potentially hundreds of thousands if not millions of people, most of whom Charlie Kirk never interacted with personally, and whom the shooter had no idea existed.

     And the shooter, by this one action, also harmed himself irreparably. If he hasn't already taken his own life, he will be hunted. Everyone he knows will be questioned. His life and the lives of everyone he loves will be turned upside down, and it is likely when he is caught and prosecuted, his own life will be ended for it.

     The Way Jesus taught was different. It avoided all of this harm and sought to stop it before it started. Forgiveness, non-retaliation, and even flat out pacifism were the hallmarks of the very early followers of the Way as they practiced the love which He taught.

     Yesterday, Erika Kirk watched her husband bleed to death from a gunshot wound. Her world has been destroyed in one moment. His children watched their father die. That is not an image which will ever leave their minds. They will see it in their nightmares possibly for the rest of their lives. Put yourself in their skin for a minute. Imagine what it must feel like to be them tonight. It doesn't matter if you disagreed with him or saw him as a threat. Put yourself in their skin and watch it through their eyes. Feel every moment of horror as the man you love and spent your life with, the father whom you loved and respected and thought the world of, falls to the floor, his own blood spilling everywhere. Be her, be them, in that moment. Experience that moment as they experienced it, and also as God experiences it through their eyes and ears. Tell me then, how can you honestly claim to love anyone if you can, much less God Himself, if you can pull this trigger and cause this much pain, horror, and harm.

     It doesn't matter what kind of a man he was. He was a man. He was loved. If I am to follow Jesus Christ, I am to love this man as though he was me. And so in the very end, he was me and I was him. In the end his wife and kids are me, and I am them.

     I feel deeply for Charlie Kirk's family as I imagine what they are feeling and having to live through right now. I also feel deeply for the shooter, and what must have driven him to take this extremely harmful and devastating action. I feel deeply also for all those others who are impacted by this one action in which they had no say.

The Most Divine and Most Human Thing You Can Do

      Why should we love our neighbor as ourselves? Because my neighbor is myself. The person next to me is just as much "me" as I am. Sure, they inhabit a seemingly different body, they have a different set of experiences, emotions, relationships, and so on, but the person next to me is a mirror of who this person, myself, would have become if I had been born in that body, had that set of experiences, had been influenced by those relationships, and so on. The person next to me is a "me" from an alternate reality, so to speak.

Being kind and treating the person next to you as you want to be treated, when it comes right down to it, can only help you in the long run. Just from a purely selfish standpoint even. It helps to build the connections and relationships which you may need to survive. By placing the welfare of others as at least equally as important as your own, by ensuring everyone else's survival if you will, you increase the odds of your own, as well as the odds of the survival of your own progeny, family, and loved ones. I am reminded of the economic model which was described in the movie "A Beautiful Mind" by "who gets the blond?" Put simply, when you remove yourself from the equation and focus on the welfare of the people around you, everyone wins. When everyone in the group does this, then no one goes without. When people don't compete with one another but work together for each other's good then everyone prospers and can do so without guilt, shame, or having to worry about losing what they own.
The immaterial part of every human being, the logos of every human being, is born of God and is a piece, fractal, or shred of the Logos who is the image of God. By loving the person next to you like yourself, you are in fact loving God, being kind to God, being compassionate and showing empathy to God. In addition, by doing so you are simply obeying what God instructed, which is itself a demonstration of love and respect for God.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is submitting to that original image of God which is the "real" you. It is reconnecting with the person you genuinely are at your very core, unaffected and unadulterated by the dysfunctional survival responses of the human brain which are dominated by fear. Fear and love cannot coexist in the same space. Loving your neighbor as yourself is giving permission for the God who is Love to manifest through you uninhibited by this fear.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is both the most divine and the most genuinely human thing you can do.

Conversing with the Authors of the New Testament on Their Terms

 I started on translating 2 Corinthians 3 again this morning. It's not the first time I've done 2 Corinthians, but I'll admit, I have some kind of a block about this letter more than any other work in the New Testament that even I don't really understand. 

     There's something just very different for me in engaging with the text in Greek and then writing down a translation. I've done it now so many times I've lost track. I've gotten through the whole New Testament several times over the last thirty odd years or so, but it's not the written translation that works for me. That can change every time I do it because of the semantic drift between ancient Greek and English, and every new piece of data I acquire on the culture, philosophy, and society of that time period. 

     Truth is, with my own brand of neurodivergence, I can read an English translation too fast and just lose everything I just read as my focus goes all over the place and I space it. ADHD can be a pain. But doing it in the Greek forces me to lock in, every time, even passages I've been over a hundred times. Words I already know the meaning of I look up again anyway if they stand out that particular time so that I can understand the full semantic meaning and not just the simple lexical definition given. As I am forced to slow down and do this, the English translation itself doesn't matter as much as the concept of what the author was saying that forms in my head. I start to pick up the rhythms of speech, the tone, the sarcasm, and just the way the authors spoke. So much starts getting communicated in that moment that just doesn't happen with an English translation. I start to hear how it was said in my head as much as what was said. And that is the point where the real understanding starts taking place. What I write down on the page is almost inconsequential after that, and really only serves to keep me on task so that I don't start spacing again. 

     I've filled notebooks with such translations. I've gone through Romans so many times I've lost track, but every book in the New Testament, some portions of the Septuagint, Early Church Fathers, and Epictetus are represented. Every translation is different, even if only slightly so, and most were never meant to be published for the public. But it is through this process that I came to know the voices of the N.T. authors very well, and I came to "hear" where certain verses or passages were or were not written by the author in question. 

     I'm not the best translator, to be honest. I'm not even close. The best translators have to not only understand the source language, but be able to express the meaning in the target language in a meaningful, accurate, and engaging way that the reader can understand. I'm not always there on that last point. I go back to my own translations and cringe sometimes. Not because they don't reflect what it means, but because they don't sound right in English. But I think it is this experience which I have had while spending time working through and translating the text which is the reason why I advocate for others to engage with the text in its own language and on its own terms. It's the closest thing you're ever going to experience in this life to having a conversation with these original authors themselves.

I Don't Do This For Money or Reputation, I Do It Because of the Spirit of Christ

 I wasn't planning on writing anything this morning. Lately, I've just been focusing on turning my Rambles into YouTube videos. But a dear friend said something a little while ago, speaking of friends of his that wanted to get an income from being seen as a pastor or minister. Given our past discussions and arguments, it's stuck with me that he was referring to me.
     When I was actually employed in a pastoral role at St. Jude's, I received $50 when I performed a service. This was whether it was a Sunday service, a baptism, or a wedding. There were times I took the initiative and performed the sacrament of Baptism without any compensation because the person was ready in that moment and there was no reason to wait. For a short time, I would work a few hours a day in the church office as a receptionist during the week as well making $8/hour. Let me be clear, I ministered whether I was paid or not because that was my calling. I was compelled to do it by the Spirit, as I still am.
     When I went out to Tennessee to act as a Co-Pastor at All Saints, I received no salary at all and we had to go on Food Stamps and Medicaid. During the week, I took a job as a Substitute Teacher for Houston County, and later I worked for a while as a Direct Care Worker for criminal and troubled boys until the flooding hit in 2010. This was in addition to performing Sunday services at All Saints, and driving the hour into Clarksville to minister to a parishnor when asked.
     After I left my formal ministry positions, to which I never returned, I continued writing and teaching on my blog as well as here on Facebook. I started this in 2008, and I never stopped. I have, to this day, never received a penny from doing it. Yet I continued to do it. I wrote my first book, and then continued to write. Yes, I was hoping they would do a little better in terms of sales, but that never stopped me from doing it and continuing to do it.
     Later, at the suggestion and recommendation of a friend from church, I took a position as a volunteer chaplain at UCI Medical Center, making rounds once a week on Sundays after church. Again, volunteer. I did not need to do this. I was not enrolled in a Seminary at the time and did not need to complete the hours I did. I did it because that was what the Spirit was compelling me to do. It was an outlet for ministry. 
      Now, I am making YouTube videos of the teaching and Rambles I've written for the last 17 years. No one is paying me to do this. Not even YouTube.
     Have I sought paid pastoral positions? Yes, of course I have. Thing of it is, not too many churches are interested in having a pastor with my background. Either my education is wrong, my experience is wrong, my theology is wrong, I was raised in the wrong state, or they didn't think I could do it because of my ASD or ADHD. Have I stopped attempting to minister because I'm not paid for it? No. Have I stopped taking time for those who need to talk, those who need to confess, those who need to experience Jesus Christ through me because I receive no compensation for it? No. Absolutely not. Nor will I.
     Would I want to have received an income for ministering? It would have made things a lot easier for my family over the years. We wouldn't have had to move around so much. We wouldn't have been in the impoverished situations we were in almost constantly. I could have focused more on the ministry part and less on the just trying to survive part. I wouldn't have faced accusations of just wanting to live off of people. I wouldn't have been told, to my face, how worthless and lazy I was and not wanting to work. But my teaching, and my counseling, and the services and sacraments I have performed have never, and I repeat NEVER been about trying to make money from being a minister of any kind.
     I have been pushed and compelled towards ministry since I was about fifteen or sixteen years old. Every time I have tried to just give it up, and there have been many times, I have been pushed and compelled by the Spirit to pick it up again. I have lost jobs, stability, apartments, friends, and any reputation I might have had because this compulsion by the Spirit would not leave me alone.
     And here I am. Still doing it. No paycheck in sight. Were I to stop altogether again, I guarantee you, something would happen to push me to seek it again.
     Here's the thing, my congregation is the person I meet online, the person I run into by chance. The person who meets me on the steps at random in tears. The person who stops me at night while I'm visiting a friend and begs for confession and absolution. The person whom I don't know and will probably never meet again who just needs Jesus Christ in that moment. And if it's just one person who meets Jesus in what I write, if it's just for one person that I do hours of research on a topic for, then that is worth it. That person needed Jesus Christ in that moment, and they were able to meet Him through me.
      This is why I do what I do. This is why I write, do the videos, and take time for the person who asks no matter who they are. And if I never see a dime for it, so be it. That's not what this is about. Reputation isn't what this is about. I'm an unknown. I will probably remain an unknown and derided until I die. So be it. But if I can be Jesus Christ for just one person, and if that one person can experience Him through me, then I will have achieved my purpose. But that is the compulsion I am under, not for money or reputation, but to be Jesus for people, give Jesus to people, receive Jesus from people, and see Jesus in people today, right now, in this moment.

All Human Beings Are Children of The God

  A friend of mine posted a video from YouTube today which took issue with the Pope's declaration that we are all children of God regardless of religion.  In this video, he read from the King James Version of John 8:39-45 where Jesus tells the Judeans who declared that Abraham was their father, and then that God was their father, that their father was actually the devil because they sought to murder Him and the devil was a murderer from the beginning. I didn't really get much further into the video because this person seemed to have an antisemitic bent as he made it clear that Jesus was talking to the Jews specifically, and made it sound like all Jews are the children of the devil which is in fact a theological point of certain extreme Christian sects.

     In John's first letter, the Apostle indirectly touches on what Jesus was saying in the third chapter where he says, "Every person making their home in Him does not error; every person who errors hasn't seen Him neither known Him. Children, don't let anyone lead you to wander away; the person doing the right state of being is right, just like that One is right; the person doing the error is from the devil, beccause the devil errored from the beginning. ... Every person having been born from the God does not do the error, because His sperm makes its home within him, and he isn't capable of erring, because he has been born from God. With this the children of the God of the devil are apparent; every person not doing the right state of being is not from God, also the person not loving his brother."

     So, what are Jesus and John talking about here? Every human being carries the "Imago Dei," the image of God, just as Jesus Christ is the image of God. Just as Jesus Christ is the Logos, so every human being carries a piece or "shred" of that logos. Every human being is in fact a child of God. 

     The problem comes in where not every human being (probably most human beings) is connected to the Head, that is, the Logos. Imagine a body with all the nervous system wiring which connects each body part to the brain. Now imagine that some parts of that body aren't receiving signals from the brain and are therefore paralyzed and unable to function. They are no less a part of the body, but they are unable to communicate with the Head.

     Those who operate from their malfunctioning flesh, who are governed by their fear, aggression, and bodily cravings are in fact paralyzed where the Head is concerned. The signals are being blocked because when this threat response system is in control, when fear is governing our thinking, responses, and words, it becomes next to impossible to love. When the survival response system, which is entirely based in our flesh, takes over that part of us which is not flesh becomes blocked.  God is love, and love becomes obstructed by fear just as love brought to completion tosses fear out. By choosing to be governed by this system, we choose to not respond to the Head. 

     When Jesus and John describe the "children of the devil," they are trying to make a point. The devil errored from the beginning. The devil has been governed by fear and aggression, and has thus been a murderer from the beginning. When we choose to be governed by our fear, we are choosing to follow in the devil's footsteps. When we choose to be aggressive, angry, and hateful, and when we choose to be governed by our bodily cravings and attachments we are following in the devil's footsteps like children following a kidnapper who raises them like an abusive, criminal parent.

     When we choose to be governed by the Imago Dei, the logos, the Spirit of Christ; when we choose to love and allow God's love to flow through us, then we are being who we truly are and functioning with a right state of being as born children of the God. The Imago Dei is not capable of error. The malfunctioning and erroneous flesh is not capable of a right state of being. We choose whom we follow, our Father from birth, or the kidnapper masquerading as our father.

     All human beings are children of God, regardless of their religious beliefs, but not all human beings are choosing the path of their natural born Father, but the path of their deceiver and kidnapper.